03/16/2010
279.6 lbs
That was yesterday's weight. Today...it's a little higher, so I think I'll stick with that.
Kids, SO much has happened in the few weeks I've been gone. Firstly, I saw LDL. Boy, did I see him. A lot. Like many, many, many times. Repeatedly. I saw him. It was good. It was really good. I think you get the point.
Secondly, I haven't hit my gym up with Li'l Bit since being back in town. This is a bad thing. I have managed to lose a few lbs and keep them off since the CHALLENGE last month. This is a good thing. MAC (said challenger and ADVERSARY) is now with child. Shit. I'm SO happy for her, but now the whole percentage of loss thing...totally no longer applicable. Doesn't mean I'm no longer motivated. It just means I have to find someone else to blame for my pain when I exercise. It's always good to have a scapegoat (MAC, I don't think you're a goat...just wanna make that clear).
Holy Followers! I've jumped 5 followers in the few weeks I've been gone. That blows my mind! I am so happy that people like this blog enough to follow it and I've had a steady climb upward, but I've never had such a big jump in numbers before. It's humbling. And, of course, it feeds my ego. Ironic, I know, but it does work both ways.
I have a crazy summer formulating. The next few months have a lot going on socially. Great motivation for keeping on track. Also, lots of reasons to panic a bit since a few involve bathing suits. I can do it, I just have to gear up for it. You know what I mean.
To top everything off, I met someone locally. It's such a new, budding possibility I don't want to talk about it in detail right now. It's confusing because of LDL. But, then again, there's the L-D part of the equation which really sucks. Ugh. I see him again in May. Months between visits is not condusive for growing into anything more than whatever it is we are now.
WTH??? When did my life become so damn complicated????
Oh. Yeah. When sex came back into it.
It is a calorie burner, tho.
-jafg
Showing posts with label LDL. Show all posts
Showing posts with label LDL. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Happy New Year. Again. (Yea Rabbits!)
02/03/2011
???.? lbs
I know what that number is but weight is a reality that I choose not to face today.
So today is the Chinese New Year. The Year of the Hare. I'm a hare. Well, really, if you read what the traits are for the hare, you'd laugh at that. Cause they don't match up. Except for the hyper-sexual-and-super-social part. And who thinks rabbits are super social, anyway??
It's been over a week since my last post. I hope you don't feel abandoned. I do feel a little guilty. I can't help it, though. Things have been busy. Firstly, the first month of the year is always MAD busy at work. Like every last minute is usually put to something wicked productive. Which leaves me little time to meander into JAFG land. Then, of course, there is LDL (which is not a reference to my cholesterol levels, btw). My glasses are definitely still steamy. Despite all this, I decided I'm making time this morning to post.
Those of you who have been around for the long haul know that I mostly just write about my experiences. I don't really philosophize except to examine my own lot in life. As the blog says, it's about my love/hate relationship with the world of weight. Sometimes, that deals with the fit of clothing, sometimes food, sometimes exercise, a lot of times smoking... But lately... Well, lately I've been thinking about sex.
I'm nervous. It will be 4 months since the last time (also first time) that I've spent face-to-face time with LDL, the next time I see him. Did that make sense? Granted we spent quality time together, but that was 4 months ago. That's a long time. Especially when you're talking about sex.
I can't spend more than 5 minutes of conversation time chatting with him without wanting to crawl through the phone and, well, you know. There's still plenty of heat, but where has this nervousness come from? My misgivings about talking to someone and then meeting them are of no consequence. We met in person through a mutual acquaintance. I can't say the guy isn't interested. HE approached ME. He also talks a pretty hot game. So, why am I so nervous?
Well, I talk a big game and there are certain aspects of the bedroom that I know I have no problem with, but, truth be told...I'm no expert. There are things that even in my 35 years of living I have yet to check off my 'to-do' list. There are things I'd like to do but feel that there are physical limitations. How does one approach this? How do I figure these things out without completely feeling like a fool in the heat of the moment. And then there are the things I like. Well, actually, I'm not so worried about that. I know how to give directions.
So back to the point. I'm nervous. It's sad to say this is the longest pseudo-relationship I've had in years. Well, since I've been in Small Southern City which has been, Lord....2 years this month! All this time and all this distance have really allowed some healthy anticipation to mix with a lot of unhealthy doubt. Shit.
I am a self-saboteur. I can recognize it (even if I haven't figured out how to completely overcome it). So now, I'm lost in my head and trying to only focus on the goal: Get Lucky. I keep telling myself that none of my imaginary hype will matter. When it's all said and done, and we're finally co-habitating the same space, I know we'll just go at it like rabbits.
But not jack rabbits, hopefully.
-jafg
???.? lbs
I know what that number is but weight is a reality that I choose not to face today.
So today is the Chinese New Year. The Year of the Hare. I'm a hare. Well, really, if you read what the traits are for the hare, you'd laugh at that. Cause they don't match up. Except for the hyper-sexual-and-super-social part. And who thinks rabbits are super social, anyway??
It's been over a week since my last post. I hope you don't feel abandoned. I do feel a little guilty. I can't help it, though. Things have been busy. Firstly, the first month of the year is always MAD busy at work. Like every last minute is usually put to something wicked productive. Which leaves me little time to meander into JAFG land. Then, of course, there is LDL (which is not a reference to my cholesterol levels, btw). My glasses are definitely still steamy. Despite all this, I decided I'm making time this morning to post.
Those of you who have been around for the long haul know that I mostly just write about my experiences. I don't really philosophize except to examine my own lot in life. As the blog says, it's about my love/hate relationship with the world of weight. Sometimes, that deals with the fit of clothing, sometimes food, sometimes exercise, a lot of times smoking... But lately... Well, lately I've been thinking about sex.
Yes. Sex.
I'm nervous. It will be 4 months since the last time (also first time) that I've spent face-to-face time with LDL, the next time I see him. Did that make sense? Granted we spent quality time together, but that was 4 months ago. That's a long time. Especially when you're talking about sex.
I can't spend more than 5 minutes of conversation time chatting with him without wanting to crawl through the phone and, well, you know. There's still plenty of heat, but where has this nervousness come from? My misgivings about talking to someone and then meeting them are of no consequence. We met in person through a mutual acquaintance. I can't say the guy isn't interested. HE approached ME. He also talks a pretty hot game. So, why am I so nervous?
Well, I talk a big game and there are certain aspects of the bedroom that I know I have no problem with, but, truth be told...I'm no expert. There are things that even in my 35 years of living I have yet to check off my 'to-do' list. There are things I'd like to do but feel that there are physical limitations. How does one approach this? How do I figure these things out without completely feeling like a fool in the heat of the moment. And then there are the things I like. Well, actually, I'm not so worried about that. I know how to give directions.
So back to the point. I'm nervous. It's sad to say this is the longest pseudo-relationship I've had in years. Well, since I've been in Small Southern City which has been, Lord....2 years this month! All this time and all this distance have really allowed some healthy anticipation to mix with a lot of unhealthy doubt. Shit.
I am a self-saboteur. I can recognize it (even if I haven't figured out how to completely overcome it). So now, I'm lost in my head and trying to only focus on the goal: Get Lucky. I keep telling myself that none of my imaginary hype will matter. When it's all said and done, and we're finally co-habitating the same space, I know we'll just go at it like rabbits.
But not jack rabbits, hopefully.
-jafg
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Just Another Funny Story. This Has Nothing To Do With Fat.
01/13/2011
283.4 lbs
I have a feeling I'm really going to hate that I've been guessing all week.
So, I'm 35. I don't look it, actually most people are shocked when they find out. I'm usually guessed at about 26-29. Although, I really don't believe the people who say 26, I do so LOVE the people who say 29. Hell, Even the ones that guess 32. I believe it's because #1 I've got a full face and full faces don't show wrinkles, and #2 I don't wear foundation. I use liquid eyeliner for my top lids, blush and lipstick. When I go out, I use mineral make-up and eyeshadow. And I try to moisturize regularly. But I don't drink enough water. I should work on that.
So ok. I really do have a point. I'm 35. I had an unhappy "who-who" in November. I was wondering if it was possible to catch some sexually transmitted disease through texting [refer to yesterday's LDL post ;-) ]when I went to visit a new g-y-n because weird things were happening in the below-the-belt area. Doc said I had an estrogen shortage. She gave me these little pills of estrogen to take for two weeks. They came preloaded in a pill injector. Yeah. I didn't take these orally. It was a weird experience.
So, I'm 35 and I have this thing called PCOS. I was diagnosed with it a few years ago. A lot of heavy girls are diagnosed with this. It gives you hair in places you don't want (and I've got an ethnically diverse background, this happens already), makes it difficult for pregnancy (not really an issue for me, per say), and means that hormones are hokey. I've also had an irregular cycle (read as nearly non-existent) all my life. With one exception: When I'm on Birth Control. Which was from about 21-27 years of age. I smoked then and wasn't too concerned because the "you shouldn't smoke while taking The Pill...Especially women over 35" didn't apply to me. It was so far away. 35 that is.
So that brings me back to my point. I'm 35. I've been placed back on The Pill. Doc did it to regulate me (turns out the thickening of your uterine lining greatly increases your chances for all sorts of cancers) and balance out my hormones which will help with the PCOS. She did this to me on November 28. About 3 hours after leaving her office, she calls me. Here's the conversation.
DOC: "I use my lunch time to review the charts of my new patients. I see you're 35." -No. Shit.- "It says here you smoke." -She called me just for this?- "You can't smoke and take The Pill." -Damn my honesty on my new patient forms!- "The risks for a stroke or heart attack are too high."
ME: "But I only smoke, like, 4 or 5 cigarettes a day. A pack can almost last me a week!" Desparation is really starting to set in.
DOC: "It's smoking. There's really no safe level. Especially on The Pill. You're 35." -I heard that the first time.- "You need to make a decision."
I like her and hate her all at the same time. I tell her that since it's only "a few a day", it shouldn't be a big deal to quit. It's a nasty habit with no redeeming qualities. A guilty pleasure whose guilt should outweigh the pleasure. Blah. Blah. Blah. So. Ok. I'm going to quit. Again. :-|
I've got a Pharmacist in the family. I ask her and every other Pharmacist I meet about this whole smoking and The Pill thing. Surely one every now and then would be ok. A little snack once in awhile shouldn't hurt.
The answer is always the same. "It's not recommended, especially for women your age." Bastards.
It's been a process through the Holiday Merriment. I made a solid commitment on January 3rd and haven't smoked once since the 4th. So, I'm on day 10 of smoke-free living. Go Me! I traded smoking for bleeding and wacked emotions on a monthly basis. On a good note, taking The Pill has made my boobs bigger. I don't remember that happening the first time around.
Oh. Doc ends the conversation like this.
DOC: "I'm scheduling you for a mamogram. It's time you get one. You're 35."
-Bitch.-
-jafg
283.4 lbs
I have a feeling I'm really going to hate that I've been guessing all week.
So, I'm 35. I don't look it, actually most people are shocked when they find out. I'm usually guessed at about 26-29. Although, I really don't believe the people who say 26, I do so LOVE the people who say 29. Hell, Even the ones that guess 32. I believe it's because #1 I've got a full face and full faces don't show wrinkles, and #2 I don't wear foundation. I use liquid eyeliner for my top lids, blush and lipstick. When I go out, I use mineral make-up and eyeshadow. And I try to moisturize regularly. But I don't drink enough water. I should work on that.
So ok. I really do have a point. I'm 35. I had an unhappy "who-who" in November. I was wondering if it was possible to catch some sexually transmitted disease through texting [refer to yesterday's LDL post ;-) ]when I went to visit a new g-y-n because weird things were happening in the below-the-belt area. Doc said I had an estrogen shortage. She gave me these little pills of estrogen to take for two weeks. They came preloaded in a pill injector. Yeah. I didn't take these orally. It was a weird experience.
So, I'm 35 and I have this thing called PCOS. I was diagnosed with it a few years ago. A lot of heavy girls are diagnosed with this. It gives you hair in places you don't want (and I've got an ethnically diverse background, this happens already), makes it difficult for pregnancy (not really an issue for me, per say), and means that hormones are hokey. I've also had an irregular cycle (read as nearly non-existent) all my life. With one exception: When I'm on Birth Control. Which was from about 21-27 years of age. I smoked then and wasn't too concerned because the "you shouldn't smoke while taking The Pill...Especially women over 35" didn't apply to me. It was so far away. 35 that is.
So that brings me back to my point. I'm 35. I've been placed back on The Pill. Doc did it to regulate me (turns out the thickening of your uterine lining greatly increases your chances for all sorts of cancers) and balance out my hormones which will help with the PCOS. She did this to me on November 28. About 3 hours after leaving her office, she calls me. Here's the conversation.
DOC: "I use my lunch time to review the charts of my new patients. I see you're 35." -No. Shit.- "It says here you smoke." -She called me just for this?- "You can't smoke and take The Pill." -Damn my honesty on my new patient forms!- "The risks for a stroke or heart attack are too high."
ME: "But I only smoke, like, 4 or 5 cigarettes a day. A pack can almost last me a week!" Desparation is really starting to set in.
DOC: "It's smoking. There's really no safe level. Especially on The Pill. You're 35." -I heard that the first time.- "You need to make a decision."
I like her and hate her all at the same time. I tell her that since it's only "a few a day", it shouldn't be a big deal to quit. It's a nasty habit with no redeeming qualities. A guilty pleasure whose guilt should outweigh the pleasure. Blah. Blah. Blah. So. Ok. I'm going to quit. Again. :-|
I've got a Pharmacist in the family. I ask her and every other Pharmacist I meet about this whole smoking and The Pill thing. Surely one every now and then would be ok. A little snack once in awhile shouldn't hurt.
The answer is always the same. "It's not recommended, especially for women your age." Bastards.
It's been a process through the Holiday Merriment. I made a solid commitment on January 3rd and haven't smoked once since the 4th. So, I'm on day 10 of smoke-free living. Go Me! I traded smoking for bleeding and wacked emotions on a monthly basis. On a good note, taking The Pill has made my boobs bigger. I don't remember that happening the first time around.
Oh. Doc ends the conversation like this.
DOC: "I'm scheduling you for a mamogram. It's time you get one. You're 35."
-Bitch.-
-jafg
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Facebook Fever and Pretty Panties
01/12/2011
283.4 lbs
I'm sticking with yesterday's guess.
I've been on Facebook as Just Another Fat Girl for awhile. It's really weird because I get tons and tons of friend requests. TONS and TONS. I'm not kidding. I had to delete over 150 friend request emails alone from my inbox. And that doesn't include all the "fan page suggestions". I look at these accounts and I wonder how the hell they found me. My page only has like 31 fans. My person account has 339. Can I just say that I don't have that many fb friends on my super secret identity fb account? Blows my mind. I was thinking that most of them are like fad sales people. Trying to pitch and whatnot, but then I look at the names and the posts and most of them are real life people. Most of them are using Facebook for their blogging medium. It's pretty cool. Although, it does make it a pain in the ass to log into my jafg email account. I'm changing my setting for friend request emails from fb. Actually, I'm gonna do that right now...
Whew. I'm glad I remembered I could do that. Not kidding, in the time it took me to login and and make those changes (and just accepting like 75 friend requests before I started this post) I got another friend request. My friend count is now at 340. YIKES!
Well, folks, I have a Long Distance Lover. I should warn you now, I'm going to be talking about some adult stuff for the next little bit. Nothing X-rated, but definitely over PG13. I travel on business several times a year. I see a lot of the same faces, but my real life work is in a large industry so the opportunity to meet new people is always there. I met him on a late Summer trip.
He approached me at a networking event. That's business speak for party with free adult beverages and food. Anyway. I was talking to another male person for a majority of the evening (strictly platonic, I assure you) which actually garnered some attention because he's fairly high profile in my work world. Anyway, this is how I initially met LDL.
To begin with, it was a brief meeting. Actually, we didn't even really talk. He was taking pictures of everyone around and--being the nice girl that I am--I offered to take his picture with Mr. Platonic. Before an introduction to be made, he was off. I was a little dissapointed because I really thought he was quite cute.
About an hour later, I'm getting another beverage at the bar and then suddenly, LDL is beside me handing me his card. He tells me "I don't know what it is about you...I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since I saw you. Please call me. It doesn't have to be tonight, but please call me before you leave." And then, he was off. Again. This is by far the best pick up line I've ever heard. Ever. By far. Needless to say, I did call him. We talked more and eventually got to know each other much better before the end of the trip.
I want to tell you that we didn't have s-e-x. (And if we would have, "protection" would have been involved. I am a safety girl through and through. There's my PSA for the day.)
That's not to say that the opportunity wasn't there, it just didn't come to that. "It" didn't need to. "It" was pretty phenomenal on it's own. I don't really know what "it" was, but damn, there were sparks and fireworks. Both he and "it" made an impression.
I was content in leaving "it" at that. To be honest, I really was expecting to leave "it" at that. I mean, we're talking different time zones here. And then I started getting texts. And fb messages. And phone calls. Not all at once, but enough to know that there was continued interest there. Let me tell you, this part has been a lot of fun. A lot.
Anyway, there are plans in the works for seeing each other. Over the holidays it was out of the question because of schedules. Hell, right now it's hard because of schedules. Plus we're talking serious travel commitment because it'll involve a plane. And that's a pretty big commitment. I'm not 100% sold on the idea of travelling just to see him or the other way around, but wouldn't mind seeing if there was still electricity the next time we happen to both be occupying the same space.
So I know I'll be see him again in a month. I'm ok with waiting considering my commitment issues. What I have been doing in the interim is shopping. Dear Lord, have I been shopping. First of all, if you didn't know about Lane Bryant's buy two bras get two free sale, get to that website NOW. It's almost over (01/17/11). Haivng said that, I've greatly increased the size of my boudoir. Nothing makes a girl feel sexy like pretty panties. And bras. And nighties. LB even has some babydolls that have underwire built in. Underwire! God Bless the person who finally did that! I have all sorts of colors now, too. And lace. Which can itch at times. Just sayin.
My point with all this is that Sexy is as Sexy does. I didn't pursue this guy, although I certainly did notice him the moment I saw him. Even after "it" happened, he still pursued me (and is continuing to do so). Somethin I got makes him hot. And I'm ok with that.
My arsenal is stocked. I'll keep you posted. It may just fizzle instead of sizzle. In which case, I got new stuff out of it, anyway.
Like my favorite new pair of pretty panties:
283.4 lbs
I'm sticking with yesterday's guess.
I've been on Facebook as Just Another Fat Girl for awhile. It's really weird because I get tons and tons of friend requests. TONS and TONS. I'm not kidding. I had to delete over 150 friend request emails alone from my inbox. And that doesn't include all the "fan page suggestions". I look at these accounts and I wonder how the hell they found me. My page only has like 31 fans. My person account has 339. Can I just say that I don't have that many fb friends on my super secret identity fb account? Blows my mind. I was thinking that most of them are like fad sales people. Trying to pitch and whatnot, but then I look at the names and the posts and most of them are real life people. Most of them are using Facebook for their blogging medium. It's pretty cool. Although, it does make it a pain in the ass to log into my jafg email account. I'm changing my setting for friend request emails from fb. Actually, I'm gonna do that right now...
Whew. I'm glad I remembered I could do that. Not kidding, in the time it took me to login and and make those changes (and just accepting like 75 friend requests before I started this post) I got another friend request. My friend count is now at 340. YIKES!
Well, folks, I have a Long Distance Lover. I should warn you now, I'm going to be talking about some adult stuff for the next little bit. Nothing X-rated, but definitely over PG13. I travel on business several times a year. I see a lot of the same faces, but my real life work is in a large industry so the opportunity to meet new people is always there. I met him on a late Summer trip.
He approached me at a networking event. That's business speak for party with free adult beverages and food. Anyway. I was talking to another male person for a majority of the evening (strictly platonic, I assure you) which actually garnered some attention because he's fairly high profile in my work world. Anyway, this is how I initially met LDL.
To begin with, it was a brief meeting. Actually, we didn't even really talk. He was taking pictures of everyone around and--being the nice girl that I am--I offered to take his picture with Mr. Platonic. Before an introduction to be made, he was off. I was a little dissapointed because I really thought he was quite cute.
About an hour later, I'm getting another beverage at the bar and then suddenly, LDL is beside me handing me his card. He tells me "I don't know what it is about you...I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since I saw you. Please call me. It doesn't have to be tonight, but please call me before you leave." And then, he was off. Again. This is by far the best pick up line I've ever heard. Ever. By far. Needless to say, I did call him. We talked more and eventually got to know each other much better before the end of the trip.
I want to tell you that we didn't have s-e-x. (And if we would have, "protection" would have been involved. I am a safety girl through and through. There's my PSA for the day.)
That's not to say that the opportunity wasn't there, it just didn't come to that. "It" didn't need to. "It" was pretty phenomenal on it's own. I don't really know what "it" was, but damn, there were sparks and fireworks. Both he and "it" made an impression.
I was content in leaving "it" at that. To be honest, I really was expecting to leave "it" at that. I mean, we're talking different time zones here. And then I started getting texts. And fb messages. And phone calls. Not all at once, but enough to know that there was continued interest there. Let me tell you, this part has been a lot of fun. A lot.
Anyway, there are plans in the works for seeing each other. Over the holidays it was out of the question because of schedules. Hell, right now it's hard because of schedules. Plus we're talking serious travel commitment because it'll involve a plane. And that's a pretty big commitment. I'm not 100% sold on the idea of travelling just to see him or the other way around, but wouldn't mind seeing if there was still electricity the next time we happen to both be occupying the same space.
So I know I'll be see him again in a month. I'm ok with waiting considering my commitment issues. What I have been doing in the interim is shopping. Dear Lord, have I been shopping. First of all, if you didn't know about Lane Bryant's buy two bras get two free sale, get to that website NOW. It's almost over (01/17/11). Haivng said that, I've greatly increased the size of my boudoir. Nothing makes a girl feel sexy like pretty panties. And bras. And nighties. LB even has some babydolls that have underwire built in. Underwire! God Bless the person who finally did that! I have all sorts of colors now, too. And lace. Which can itch at times. Just sayin.
My point with all this is that Sexy is as Sexy does. I didn't pursue this guy, although I certainly did notice him the moment I saw him. Even after "it" happened, he still pursued me (and is continuing to do so). Somethin I got makes him hot. And I'm ok with that.
My arsenal is stocked. I'll keep you posted. It may just fizzle instead of sizzle. In which case, I got new stuff out of it, anyway.
Like my favorite new pair of pretty panties:
The Coral Rumba Boyshort
For the record, I didn't model this.
-jafg
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