Monday, January 24, 2011



281.8 lbs

I weighed myself yesterday.  I figure it's still good today.

I can't believe that it's already the last week of January.  It's hard to believe that we're 24 days into a new year.  Where does the time go?  It seems like we're so focused on all the little details of things that don't really matter that it all just disappears without even being noticed.  That's deep for almost 5pm on Monday.

So BB (that's Blushing Bride) and I are supposed to go workout tonight.  Basically that means I'm going to finally head back to Concierge Gym.  I really don't want to right now.  Really.  I just want to go home and drink a glass of red wine and maybe even have a cigarette snuggle with the Kitty. 

It's been a hell of a day.  Well, truth be known, it's been a hell of past several days.  I'd love to go home and just eat mac n cheese.  I may, yet.  Jury's still out.  I also wouldn't mind having a little chocolate afterwards.  I have hot cocoa packages so that's a definite "do" tonight.  Yum,  Mac n Cheese and Hot Cocoa.  And a blanket, my couch, and Chuck and Castle.  Not all at the same time, though.

Yeah, I'm pretty much wiped right now.  All I can think about is my couch and comfort food. 

Of course....  It probably doesn't help that I took that half a xanax.


Friday, January 14, 2011

A Very Stylish Girl


283.6 lbs

That's for real this time.

I did two amazing things this morning:  I weighed myself and I got to work on time!  Well, by 5 after 8.  That's pretty much on time.  Especially for me.

So it's obvious that I'm not really doing anything to lose weight right now.  I'm moderately thinking about what I eat, but that's about it.  Mostly that includes not ordering anything with sugar.  I don't care so much about the fat.  Or carbs.  Actually,....that might not be so true.  I have consumed a fair amount of Jack and Coke.  So.  I'm minimally thinking about what I eat.  That's really about it. 

I'm not exercising AT ALL.  I have thought about it a few times.  I still drive by Concierge Gym twice a day, but I really only notice it when I'm coming home, not when I'm leaving for work.  Then I'm just trying to make sure I don't hit anyone in my mad dash to be not so late to work.  I've noticed that it's really full at night.  I see my favorite elliptical machine through the window and I realize I sort of miss it.  I can almost visualize myself on it.  I think this month I am going to might make a goal to bring workout clothes with me to work, change before leaving, and actually STOP at Concierge Gym before making it home.  We'll see. 

Well, you know we just had a New Year celebration.  Me and my skinny friends went to Orlando, FL for a 4-day-getaway.  I was up at 5-freakin-30 in the morning on Friday December 31 to make it to our carpool for the trip to the airport. 

As girls we spend the day shopping and getting last minute details done like manicures and such before arriving at our hotel to start the two (ok three) hour process of getting ready.  Three girls + 1 shower (and toilet) = Tough Times.  We all manage to survive and look fabulous before leaving for the evening.  There are at least 55 pictures of that moment to prove it.

I walked back IN the hotel room at 5:00 in the morning on Saturday January 1.  That's a champion party night, my friends.  Good times, good times.  I'm glad nights like these are only a few times a year.  There's talk of a Mardi Gras trip in the works.  None of us have ever done a proper NOLA Mardi Gras.  However.  I don't know that I'll be fully recovered from NYE by then.

As any young lady would do, I shopped for my trip.  This is in addition to all the underwears.  I don't have many options for fashion (decent fashion-emphasis on decent) being Just Another Fat Girl.  I shop quite a bit from Lane Bryant.  That's like 90% of my closet.  I score some good tops occasionally from Kohl's and Stein Mart.  Anyway, the point I want to make here is that I did some shopping for my trip.  I went to The Mall (I loathe Mall Shopping) for a mad dash on Thursday.  I needed an outfit or three for the evenings we'd be on the town. 

Apparently, LB is now carrying DKNY clothing.  It's overpriced, but I got some jeans on sale!  Suh-Weet.  And they look freakin hot on.  I should tell you, if you consider shopping for these, the Soho dark wash are the way to go.  At least on me.  They have some that are a lighter wash--which are true "jeans" to me--and they weren't flattering in the slightest.  I've got a funny shape (remember The Jiggle in the Middle?) so it might just be me. 

I also got some really, really cute tops.  The one I got for NYE was a tank-tunic (I swear is looks better than it sounds) which required something for the arms.  Well, I tried a few long sleeve button downs which just did not work.  I was getting desperate.  I was going with the gun metal grey tank with the cute bows on the neck no matter what.  Well, I do the only thing left for me to do, I ask the clerk for a Shrug.  Lord, help me. 

I've avoided these basically since I even knew what a Shrug was.  We're talking about an article of clothing that's named after poor posture.  On top of that, they fall just below the boob which is just above the belly.  This can't be flattering.  Plus, I just think they're ugly.  For the sake of the outfit, I do it.

Holy. Shit.  It works beautifully with the top!  And I look FABULOUS in the outfit.  Right down to the lushious shoes I wore that night.  And Bohhh-Nusssss, I have to buy it in a smaller size for it to fit right.  The fashion fairies were following me that day!  I love this little thing so much, I've incorporated it into a few other outfits.  Turns out a shrug is quite diverse.  

Aside from looking Smokin' all Holiday weekend, I had another positive.  I haven't changed in sizes.  I even bought two pair of new work pants while in Tourist-Town (YIKES is it ever).  I'm so tired of my baggy slacks.  Which, I should add, really aren't because of a lot of weight loss as it was from a weight gain last year that was corrected by weight loss.  I've managed to keep about 10 lbs of my 25 lbs off.

Anyway.  First day I wore them to work, I get asked like 5 lie...[JAFG], you look like you've lost weight! or How much weight have you lost, [JAFG]?  To which I have to reply, I haven't lost any, I just bought some pants that fit!  You laugh, but I'm not joking.  You'd be amazed how flattering clothes are when they fit...regardless of what size they are!

So, geting back to the outlet shopping purchase of these two pairs of paints.  I pick up a pair of black Houston's (that's the cut/style) and try them on.  Fit like a glove. Completely pass the sit-down test with flying colors.  I decide that they're a steal at $30 a pop and fit so great, I run back over and pick up the same style in grey. Then, I get on a plane, manage to get my three bags (none are small) up The Stairs in ONE trip, fall down dead/take one more vaca day from work, and unpack like 4 days later. 

I pulled out the gray pair and decide to wear them (with a cute purple top and that new shrug).  I've worn the black pair already and got SO many responses [see a couple of paragraphs above] I figure it'll be even better since I've never worn gray slacks here before.  O.M.G. 

The bastards are so snug in the waist they're almost too small!   These are the EXACT same pair of pants!!!  I can wear them (and currently am at the moment) but I safetypin them instead of buttoning to make it more comfortable.   Everywhere else in these pants are fine.  The legs.  The ass.  The length.  Everything except the waist.   I think that the factory in Bangladesh where they were made (not really kidding here) put the clasps a farther apart on this pair than the other.  Explains why they were at an Outlet.   

Remember those fashion fairies that were following me that day I got the shrug?  They must have sensed my doubt.  Felt my fear.  I think that day has come back to bite me. 

So....Sorry, Shrug. I didn't mean to be a hater.


Thursday, January 13, 2011

Just Another Funny Story. This Has Nothing To Do With Fat.


283.4 lbs

I have a feeling I'm really going to hate that I've been guessing all week.

So, I'm 35.  I don't look it, actually most people are shocked when they find out.  I'm usually guessed at about 26-29.  Although, I really don't believe the people who say 26, I do so LOVE the people who say 29.  Hell, Even the ones that guess 32.  I believe it's because #1 I've got a full face and full faces don't show wrinkles, and #2 I don't wear foundation.  I use liquid eyeliner for my top lids, blush and lipstick.  When I go out, I use mineral make-up and eyeshadow.  And I try to moisturize regularly.  But I don't drink enough water.  I should work on that. 

So ok.  I really do have a point.  I'm 35.  I had an unhappy "who-who" in November.  I was wondering if it was possible to catch some sexually transmitted disease through texting [refer to yesterday's LDL post ;-) ]when I went to visit a new g-y-n because weird things were happening in the below-the-belt area.  Doc said I had an estrogen shortage.  She gave me these little pills of estrogen to take for two weeks.  They came preloaded in a pill injector.  Yeah.  I didn't take these orally.  It was a weird experience. 

So, I'm 35 and I have this thing called PCOS.  I was diagnosed with it a few years ago.  A lot of heavy girls are diagnosed with this.  It gives you hair in places you don't want (and I've got an ethnically diverse background, this happens already), makes it difficult for pregnancy (not really an issue for me, per say), and means that hormones are hokey.  I've also had an irregular cycle (read as nearly non-existent) all my life.  With one exception:  When I'm on Birth Control.  Which was from about 21-27 years of age.  I smoked then and wasn't too concerned because the "you shouldn't smoke while taking The Pill...Especially women over 35" didn't apply to me.  It was so far away.  35 that is.

So that brings me back to my point.  I'm 35.  I've been placed back on The Pill.   Doc did it to regulate me (turns out the thickening of your uterine lining greatly increases your chances for all sorts of cancers) and balance out my hormones which will help with the PCOS.  She did this to me on November 28.  About 3 hours after leaving her office, she calls me.  Here's the conversation.

DOC:  "I use my lunch time to review the charts of my new patients.  I see you're 35."  -No. Shit.-  "It says here you smoke."  -She called me just for this?-  "You can't smoke and take The Pill."  -Damn my honesty on my new patient forms!-  "The risks for a stroke or heart attack are too high."

ME:  "But I only smoke, like, 4 or 5 cigarettes a day.  A pack can almost last me a week!"  Desparation is really starting to set in.

DOC:  "It's smoking.  There's really no safe level.  Especially on The Pill.  You're 35."  -I heard that the first time.- "You need to make a decision."

I like her and hate her all at the same time.  I tell her that since it's only "a few a day", it shouldn't be a big deal to quit.  It's a nasty habit with no redeeming qualities.  A guilty pleasure whose guilt should outweigh the pleasure.  Blah. Blah. Blah.  So. Ok.  I'm going to quit.  Again.  :-|

I've got a Pharmacist in the family.  I ask her and every other Pharmacist I meet about this whole smoking and The Pill thing. Surely one every now and then would be ok.  A little snack once in awhile shouldn't hurt.

The answer is always the same.  "It's not recommended, especially for women your age."  Bastards. 

It's been a process through the Holiday Merriment.  I made a solid commitment on January 3rd and haven't smoked once since the 4th.  So, I'm on day 10 of smoke-free living.  Go Me!  I traded smoking for bleeding and wacked emotions on a monthly basis.  On a good note, taking The Pill has made my boobs bigger.  I don't remember that happening the first time around.

Oh. Doc ends the conversation like this. 

DOC:  "I'm scheduling you for a mamogram.  It's time you get one.  You're 35."



Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Facebook Fever and Pretty Panties


283.4 lbs

I'm sticking with yesterday's guess.

I've been on Facebook as Just Another Fat Girl for awhile.  It's really weird because I get tons and tons of friend requests.  TONS and TONS.  I'm not kidding.  I had to delete over 150 friend request emails alone from my inbox.  And that doesn't include all the "fan page suggestions".  I look at these accounts and I wonder how the hell they found me.  My page only has like 31 fans.  My person account has 339.  Can I just say that I don't have that many fb friends on my super secret identity fb account?  Blows my mind.  I was thinking that most of them are like fad sales people.  Trying to pitch and whatnot, but then I look at the names and the posts and most of them are real life people.  Most of them are using Facebook for their blogging medium.  It's pretty cool.  Although, it does make it a pain in the ass to log into my jafg email account.  I'm changing my setting for friend request emails from fb.  Actually, I'm gonna do that right now...

Whew.  I'm glad I remembered I could do that.  Not kidding, in the time it took me to login and and make those changes (and just accepting like 75 friend requests before I started this post) I got another friend request.  My friend count is now at 340.  YIKES!

Well, folks, I have a Long Distance Lover. I should warn you now, I'm going to be talking about some adult stuff for the next little bit.  Nothing X-rated, but definitely over PG13.  I travel on business several times a year.  I see a lot of the same faces, but my real life work is in a large industry so the opportunity to meet new people is always there.  I met him on a late Summer trip. 

He approached me at a networking event.  That's business speak for party with free adult beverages and food.  Anyway.  I was talking to another male person for a majority of the evening (strictly platonic, I assure you) which actually garnered some attention because he's fairly high profile in my work world.  Anyway, this is how I initially met LDL.

To begin with, it was a brief meeting.  Actually, we didn't even really talk.  He was taking pictures of everyone around and--being the nice girl that I am--I offered to take his picture with Mr. Platonic.  Before an introduction to be made, he was off.  I was a little dissapointed because I really thought he was quite cute.

About an hour later, I'm getting another beverage at the bar and then suddenly, LDL is beside me handing me his card.  He tells me "I don't know what it is about you...I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since I saw you.  Please call me.  It doesn't have to be tonight, but please call me before you leave."  And then, he was off.  Again.  This is by far the best pick up line I've ever heard.  Ever.  By far.  Needless to say, I did call him.  We talked more and eventually got to know each other much better before the end of the trip.

I want to tell you that we didn't have s-e-x. (And if we would have, "protection" would have been involved.  I am a safety girl through and through. There's my PSA for the day.)

That's not to say that the opportunity wasn't there, it just didn't come to that. "It" didn't need to.  "It" was pretty phenomenal on it's own.  I don't really know what "it" was, but damn, there were sparks and fireworks.  Both he and "it" made an impression.
I was content in leaving "it" at that.  To be honest, I really was expecting to leave "it" at that.  I mean, we're talking different time zones here.  And then I started getting texts.  And fb messages.  And phone calls.  Not all at once, but enough to know that there was continued interest there.  Let me tell you, this part has been a lot of fun.  A lot. 

Anyway, there are plans in the works for seeing each other.  Over the holidays it was out of the question because of schedules.  Hell, right now it's hard because of schedules.  Plus we're talking serious travel commitment because it'll involve a plane.  And that's a pretty big commitment.  I'm not 100% sold on the idea of travelling just to see him or the other way around, but wouldn't mind seeing if there was still electricity the next time we happen to both be occupying the same space.

So I know I'll be see him again in a month. I'm ok with waiting considering my commitment issues.  What I have been doing in the interim is shopping.  Dear Lord, have I been shopping.  First of all, if you didn't know about Lane Bryant's buy two bras get two free sale, get to that website NOW.  It's almost over (01/17/11).  Haivng said that, I've greatly increased the size of my boudoir.  Nothing makes a girl feel sexy like pretty panties.  And bras.  And nighties.  LB even has some babydolls that have underwire built in.  Underwire!  God Bless the person who finally did that!  I have all sorts of colors now, too.  And lace.  Which can itch at times.  Just sayin.

My point with all this is that Sexy is as Sexy does.  I didn't pursue this guy, although I certainly did notice him the moment I saw him.  Even after "it" happened, he still pursued me (and is continuing to do so).  Somethin I got makes him hot.  And I'm ok with that. 

My arsenal is stocked.  I'll keep you posted.  It may just fizzle instead of sizzle.  In which case, I got new stuff out of it, anyway.

Like my favorite new pair of pretty panties:

Rumba boyshort

The Coral Rumba Boyshort

For the record, I didn't model this.


Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Happy New Year! (Eleven Days In...)


283.4 lbs

I'm guessing.

So the last post told you about a rather low day in the life.  We all have those.  I try to find the funny side, let someone else find the funny side, or something to poke fun at and move on.  So I did.  Bygones. 

Tonight I can't stop my brain from running.  I'm all over the place.  And then I get an unexpected wext (that's work-out text) from Angela Pea.  Love that Texan.  Hearing from her reminded me that I haven't paid any attention to my blog!  And to you!  I promise out of sight does not mean out of mind. 

I will try to post more this week. I've got SO much to say.

Like I keep finding Christmas candy and it's really starting to suck.