Cause and Effect

05/17/10

285.0 lbs

Damnit.

I am seriously considering a water fast.  At least for 24 hours.  I need SOMETHING to jumpstart the weightloss again.  I want SO badly to see the 70's I can't stand it! 

I've had three days of business travel hell.  I got up at 4:30 AM Wednesday morning and got home at 12:10 AM Friday night.  Well, actually, that would be Saturday morning.  What. A. Nightmare.  I was going to DC which is one of my all time fave places, but didn't get to enjoy the location once.  Sadface.

I have learned that two things affect food decisions:  Exhaustion and hangovers.

I was thrilled that I was making healthy choices on the food front.  I had a mushroom, mozzerrella, spinach sandwich (eating little bread) for lunch, and a mostly sensible dinner considering I was at a "dinner reception" and had no choice on the menu.  I did skip breakfast and had lunch in my room on Thursday which consisted of roasted peppers, spinach, feta and hummus on crostini (6 mini pieces) and a garden salad, dressing on the side.  I had a martini or two for dinner. 

I should tell you that I was meeting someone (two someones to be specific) for a business drink at the lobby bar and could find NOTHING healthy to snack on on the menu so I passed.  I have not partaken of more than one drink at a time since the big 30 party for SAG last month.

So, there I was, sitting at the lobby bar, waiting on my business persons to arrive.  I was early (shocker) and they were late (another shocker).  Well, I decided to have a beverage (cosmo) prior to their arrival.  Holy Moly. I hadn't had a cosmo that good in I can't remember. Truly.  Well, I'm finishing up my drink when the business duo arrives.  They order a round, as business people do, and before I know it, I'm on Martini #3. 

I have to go to the ladies' and at the point of walking to the ladies' and walking back, I realize that I have had nothing to eat for hours, what I did have to eat is long gone and I have had three of the strongest martinis ever served in DC.  Rookie Mistake.

Well, I went to bed early that night. 

I woke up Friday not feeling quite so great.  I had room service for breakfast.  That would be 2 eggs scrambled with cheese (most of it left on my plate) two pieces of bacon (all left on the plate) a carrot-raisin muffin (top eaten) and the best toasted bagel with cream cheese anb butter I've ever eaten.  Yeah, I ate the whole bagel.  With shmear and all! Oh, I also had two glasses of soymilk. 

I had a late flight and nothing to do with my luggage so I headed to the airport early.  At this point, I'm tired, perhaps slightly hungover, and just wanting to get home.  I ate dinner there.  I had a burger and fries.  And a coke.  So, 10 hours after getting to the airport, I finally land.  I'm taking a cab home and, I can't believe this, I asked him to drive through McD's because I'm hungry again.  I ordered a fish filet combo with a water.  I feel good about that water. 

I slept most of the day on Saturday and ordered a thin crust veggie pizza for dinner.  Sunday I was back on track.  I worked out with The Moms and had a very healthy food day and bought groceries for the next few weeks.  Publix had the most awesome icecream on sale...it's actually a Gelato.  Everything was healthy in my basket excepting those icecreams which were a B.O.G.O.F. deal.

I had a small scoop of that last night.

And I wonder why this weight isn't moving.


-jafg

The Blondes and SAG

09/01/09

285.2 lbs

--yesterday's weight--

Sometimes I'm at a loss for words.  Like today for example.  For my faithful few, however, I will do my best.

I went out with Skinny Athletic Girl and the Blondes Saturday night.  I had a blast!  Heard a great band, played Darts, I totally suck at Darts, btw, and drank Michelob Ultra.  I'm not a big beer fan but this wasn't too bad.  Plus it's supposedly a low carb, lower calorie beer.  So, what the hell, right? 

I had a decent hair night and the make-up looked great.  I was pretty happy with the outfit, a nice purple top with jeans and cute shoes.  Jewelry was rockin as always.  Overall, I walked out of my diggs with a pretty healthy chunk of postive energy. 

I'm mostly on time when I arrive and SAG's house.  More positive energy.  She opens the door and Damn.  She's 5'11" and is all legs.  The fitted dress she wore barely came below her "bum".  I couldn't fault her for it because she looked H-O-T.  I'd like to look that H-O-T one day!  If I had a body like hers, I would totally dress like that just to pick soymilk up from the grocery.  I would.

To make matters worse, she's gotten the P90X thing and is talking about her workouts and how sore she is.  Of course, I'm thinking I should be sore from working out, not her.  She says she's finally getting definition in her calves to which I reply "Finally?".  I couldn't help it. 

I found out what the P90X thing is...it's a 90-day regiment of complete muscle confusion.  It's supposed to really smack your body out of and into shape.  I know a Bride who's currently on the program.  She's always on Facebook about it.  It's tiresome really.  The status updates, not the plan.  Well, maybe the plan, too, but I wouldn't know.  I don't use it. 

The Blondes arrived and thank GAWD they are not wearing skimpy dresses.  The Blondes could totally wear little skimpy dresses, I assure you.  Oh--I call them The Blondes because I'm not blonde and they are...I can't reveal much more than that to protect my secret Fat Girl identity.  Anyway, The Blondes are wearing jeans and tops, all looking much more fetching in their clothes than I am.  But, I do have a great hair accessory.  Kudos for me.

We're out for the evening having a grand old time.  We all love the band.  Great band!  Wish I could share the name, but alas, I've got my secret identity to think about.  Close to closing time, we head up to After-Hours bar.  This place seems like a good idea at the time everybody's saying "Yeah, let's go!" but they're not.  They're really not. 

Every drunk girl and boy out on a Saturday night happen to be at After-Hours bar.  We're all packed in like Sardines.  It's horrible.  Really.  I'm separated from my posse by a sea of entering and exiting drunkards.  I'm being felt up by some dude sitting by a chick too drunk to notice.  Sounds like fun, doesn't it? 

Continuing with the story...I finally make it across the great divide and perch at the bar feeling a little safer.  You can smoke in this club so both service and an ashtray are immediately available. It doesn't get much better than that.  We're all pretty content, SAG and The Blondes have latched on to two guys.  These are former "friends" of SAG.  Conversation is flowing.  Then, the boys have a few friends join them.  This is the moment I stop enjoying myself. 

All the sudden these three asses wedge themselves between me and The Blondes and I get completely shut out.  Don't misunderstand me.  I really don't care about the attention or lack thereof, I care about the complete lack of acknowledgement that I was even part of this group.  Why don't these boys do the decent thing and pretend to include me in the convo?  Well, I did the only thing a respectable girl could do in my position.  I lit another cigarette and let it billow in their faces.  I was going to accidentally burn them, but I didn't get the opportunity.  My girls saved me.  These skinny girls walked away from their fanclub and pulled me with them.  Now that's cool.

It may seem like I don't like SAG and The Blondes, but that isn't true.  They're my peeps.  I heart them!  Besides, even if I were on the same level of H-O-T-ness as they are, which I am already in my own way, there'd still be something to bitch about.  We're girls.  It's what we do.


-jafg

I'm Calling a Do-Over!

08/17/09

284.6 lbs

Apparently my fat is very sensitive to carbs and hangovers.

As you all know, I socialized last Thursday. I had a fantab time, too. It was fun to get out with friends on the town. And I do enjoy a good adult beverage. The thing is, the more I enjoy a good adult beverage the more I tend to partake of said good adult beverage. This leads to a night of a very happy fat girl who forgets about fat and focuses only on happy. This in itself is not a bad thing. However, after an undisclosed number of shots, 2:00am seems early and the happy girl just wants to have fun!

I also mentioned I am a serious rationalizer. This skill is only sharpened when adult beverages are added to the mix. As most people lose their ability to think logically as an evening progresses, my logic skills are increased 10-fold. It's very difficult to say no to my persuasive spins. Poor friends.

If you don't partake, then you don't know that the night of one too many will lead to a day of dread. The only thing that soothes the pain is grease-house food. Like Waffle House at 2:30 in the morning. If that 2:30 late-dinner-early-breakfast-date is bypassed, well then, it is a must the morning after. Or at some point in the day if one has a job to report to like me. I opted for a great greasy burger and fries (and soymilk) in the afternoon. And oreos. It was good.

I got home Friday night and my hangover had breakfast. Grits, biscuits, potatoes, bacon and an egg. Holy Crap. I didn't eat the egg. It didn't do too well after the first bite so I gave up on that. The grits were awesome. They had just a hint of colby-jack cheese added. It would seem that this would be enough to just do a person in, but my hangover wasn't finished with me yet. It needed icecream to top the evening off. It should be ashamed.

Saturday wasn't much better. I took a 3 hour nap. This is after having potatoes, bacon, and scrambled eggs for breakfast. It turns out I'm very out of practice from playing on a schoolnight. I was still feeling like shite. I don't think the food had anything to do with it. After I woke up, I realized I needed to go grocery shopping. Being in a very unmotivated state of mind, I opted for fast food mexican instead. At least I'd have to walk down The Stairs and back up again for the sin.

Sunday I woke up mopey. There's just no other word for it. Well, after coffee and a smoke I kicked myself in the ass. I realized that I'd have to face everyone on Monday and report all of this nonsense. I also realized that I still had no food in the house. This is not conducive to healthy living. I pulled out the weekly grocery flyers and tore through each of them. That's three stores, People. I spent my yesterday afternoon grocery shopping. There were some really great deals. I found albacore tuna 10 for $10! I got 15 cans. I also got Amy's Pizza for a really great deal! I had that for dinner last night.

I didn't spread this shopping excursion out over several days, I did it all in one big blowout. This means multiple trips up and down and back up The Stairs. I think that paid the price for my food transgressions.

I guess you could say I fell off the wagon this weekend. It's a good thing I'm not on a diet.

-jafg

Soy Joy

08/14/09

283.2 lbs

Hmmph.


I had fun last night! I had pizza for dinner. With pepperoni and sausage and mushroom. My favorite. I didn't gorge on it like I could have. Two pieces with dinner and one piece later as a "midnight snack". I may have had a few cocktails. I didn't drive. You shouldn't either if you partake of libations.

I also had some friendship bread with my midnight snack. And a glass of soymilk. Thank GOD for soymilk. I'm not joking when I say that either. I brought some with me to work this morning. Actually, the whole half gallon. I find it soothing on days like this. It's cool and refreshing.

When I first was introduced to soy milk, I was skeptical. I bucked up and picked up the glass that was poured for me, gave it a sniff, and then took my first drink. It was vanilla soymilk. It was nutty and sweet and just plain delish. That's when I became a convert.

I couldn't get enough. I still can't. I read the ingredient list one day and realized that Vanilla SM has a lot of sugar. Not surprising, just something I'd not really thought about before. I branched out to Plain SM. I don't buy the "light" versions, because they lose the word 'organic' when they add the word 'light' and they also get ingredients I have to "sound out". Hooked on Phonics Worked for Me! Sorry. It just happened. Anyway. I'll opt for less ingredients for more fat or calories any time. Well, I do use Splenda.

I have no real insights on the world of weight today. I think everyone, fat or skinny, generally feels like shite the day after a night of one too many.


-jafg

P.S.
I'm not taking the stairs at work today.

Sweet Defeats

08/04/09

286.2 lbs.

Yeah. The weight-truth sucks sometimes. I recently visited some friends at the beach and was given a starter for Amish Friendship Bread. If you don't know what it is, you're missing out. If you do know what it is, then you know my predicament. Once you make your first loaf you're hooked. It's awesome. You can add nuts, different flavors, and pretty much make it anything you like. I just made some banana walnut version of it. OMG. It's to die for. On top of that, the local grocery store had my favorite ice cream pints on sale for $.99. Less than a dollar a pint, People! I bought 2. Okay, 3. Over the course of the weekend I've consumed ice cream (only one pint) and freakin' awesome banana nut friendship bread. This is not part of healthy living.

I'm also on a budget. A tight one. It's difficult to shop healthy and cheaply at the same time. The trick to really good, healthy eating is the number of ingredients in a pre-packaged food item you may be buying. The more ingredients an item has, odds are the less likely it is to be healthy. This is true of the "diet foods" as well. But...have you ever noticed how the less ingredients something has the more expensive it is to purchase? Herein lies the rub so to speak.

I'm a fan of locally grown products. I'm a fan of organic products. These are actually more expensive to purchase than their counter-parts. On some things I won't budge. I will only buy organic soy milk. Fortunately, most stores now have 'store-brand' organic soy milk so I'm pretty good on that. I really prefer to buy eggs from hormone-free, vegeterian-grain-fed chickens. Occasionally, I will break down and buy the cheaper ones, but only when I really have to watch every penny.

I'm trying to buy ingredients for meals to prepare at home and trying to be healthy while doing it. Here's some pointers. Sweet potatoes are better for you than white potatoes and are just as filling. Brown rice has all the fiber retianed while white rice doesn't. Frozen veggies are cheaper than fresh veggies most of the time and you get more bang for your buck. Veggies from the frozen food section really aren't that bad unless you're buying the ones with the cheese sauce. Speaking of cheese, the firmer the cheese is the healthier it is, also (that's true for "female health" as well). With the exception of goat cheese and feta; these aren't too bad in moderation. Moderation is the key. [Insert annoying cliche' alarm, here.]

A good grocery list is a lot like core-wardrobing. You get maximum variety with minimum ingredients. Pick up a few light-cooking magazines. Maybe invest in a healthy cookbook. Read the the ingredient lists and figure out which repeat themselves most often. Taylor those to your tastes and there ya go! You've got a start for a week's worth of menus.

I'm fortunate enough to live in an urban environment where I can shop at several stores that are close to where I live. It's important to review the grocery flyers you get in the mail or in the paper. Figure out where the best deal is spread your shopping over a few days. This is awesome for me because I'm never motivated to go out and get what I need. It's so much easier to just pick up dinner on the way home. Especially when I can buy a pizza that's already cooked for about $7 (I won't say where to avoid any temptations tonight). Or a burger for that matter. Or Bar-B-Q. See, I'm already moving in the wrong direction.

Okay. So, I have been taking the stairs! Only a few times has the elevator been used. One time I was going with someone else and just used the elevator with them (next time I'll be stronger) and the other time I was really freakin' hot from being outside for lunch (southern heat has high humidity) and just plain took the lazy way up to my workspace. I'm being honest! Give me some credit for that!

I still have ice cream in my freezer. I can't imagine I'll part with it down the drain either. I'm going to have to incorporate more movement into my daily routine because of this. I can say that the next batch Friendship Bread I make will be brought into work and shared with everyone else's hips. What are friends for, anyway?


-jafg


P.S. I have my first real follower! Thanks, Peace Turkey, for the words of encouragement! Congrats on the gym membership. You're a stronger woman than I am.