What's in a name?

07/25/09

Age: 33 years old
Height: 5' 6"
Weight: 287.6 lbs

There it is. That's me. It's liberating to have the most intimate detail of myself set out in such a public forum. This is anonymous, though, so maybe it doesn't count.

First, let me say I'm a happy person. I'm pretty satisfied with where my choices have brought me in life. I have good friends, I think of myself as good looking and have an overall healthy self esteem. But, I have always struggled with weight. ALWAYS. Well, not when I was 4, but pretty much since then. It's been part of my life.

Sometimes, I find myself daydreaming about dieting. About exercising. And then I realize I don't want to expend the effort or energy to get up and do anything about it. I'm speaking for myself, here. Motivation is the hardest thing, especially when it's supposed to come from myself.

So, I was smoking on my deck and decided "Hey, wouldn't it be great to be publically motivated like those reality shows about losing weight without everyone knowing who I was??? Sure it would! I can do it through a blog." I had the best blog name picked out too. I sat down to set it up and the damn thing was taken. So, I started thinking. Again. After about an hour and a half of thinking up really awesome names, then kinda cool names, then any name at all that still applied, I came up with this one: "I'm just another fat girl". Which seems appropriate since so many self-proclaimed 'fat girls' are trying or have tried to do this whole blog thing already. The one thing I can say about those blogs is that none of the blogs are current. Most of them were only in the beginning stages and then apparently died off.

This, by the way, is the plight of most of us fat girls. Grand beginnings with no follow-through. Hey, I'm just being honest. It's been true with me, anyway.

Well, I am not setting out a goal here. I'm not telling anyone that I am going to lose weight. I just want to document "my life as a fat girl" with a level of accountability that I don't seem to get in everyday life. That title was taken, by the way. Trust me, I know.


-jafg