Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Now Back To Our Regularly Scheduled Program...


287.0 lbs

Whateves.  I had a birthday and did what I wanted.  So, my present to myself?  Weight Gain. Thanks, Me!

I've been travelling so that explains the radio silence last week.  It appears, though, that I have two new fans since I've been gone. WooHoo! Welcome JAFG Newbies!

I  travel for business regularly.  Not like monthly or anything, but enough that I have fashionable matching luggage.  I'm always travelling right around my birthday which can be fun, because it's a trip that Company pays for and it's usually in a great locale.  I still pay for my own adult beverages.  Most of the time, though, someone else is around to take care of that.  Hey, I'm a single girl surrounded by a lot of traveling business guys.  It's how it works.

I flew a different airline for the first time in a long time.  I've been a Delta girl (Free Plug) for years.  I traveled on Southwest (yet another Free Plug) this time which was pretty alright.  They don't have real seat assignments.  They assign you a letter group (a-c) and then a number (1-60) and make you board in that order.  I purchased a bump in line for $10 so I was always one of the first 35 to board.  This means you get a better shot at a good seat. 

This also means someone gets stuck next to you, you don't get stuck next to someone.  I hate walking down the aisle of a plane and seeing someone watch you and then realize you're about to squeeze your fat arse into the seat next to them.  With this seating arrangement (or lack thereof), odds are someone's gonna choose the little old lady over the fat girl.  I'm more likely to get an empty seat next to me.  Proof positive that something good comes out of everything, even being JAFG.

Also, I get to struggle with the seatbelt all by myself.  No one has to watch my face go red because it's cutting off the circulation to the upper part of my body.  Deep Vein Thrombosis?  Ha!  I laugh at you!  I have no blood running down to my lower extremities! 

Then there's the arm rest.  It tends to creep up as the flight progresses.  Not because I'm moving it, mind you, but because my thigh fat is slowly seeping underneath it.  So much so that about half way through the flight that middle person has to readjust him/herself and force it back down.  That's not awkward. 

I prefer traveling by myself.  I would rather sit by a complete stranger that I can completely ignore (or dazzle with my bright and shiny personality if I feel like it) and not worry about ever seeing again once we all "deplane".  That's the real way to go.  I don't want to sit next to someone I know who has to pretend to ignore the fact that the seatbelt is one hair shy of being too small (I would never buy my jeans that tight)  or the tray-table doesn't come all the way down and then face them on Monday Morning.  Great.  That's worse than someone walking in on you in the bathroom.  Believe me, I know.

I did get hit on a few times on this trip.  That's always a real ego booster.  These folks are either "industry colleagues" or "industry vendors".  The vendors are sales folk and Sales Folk are always up for a good time.  Sales Folk are usually a good-lookin bunch and I do enjoy some good eye-candy.  It's nice when we're "networking" after the conference meetings and they try to sell you stuff by buying you drinks.  I'm such a conference junkie that most of them know me by now and forgo the sales and get right to the drinks.  And flirting.  I'm just heady enough to still think I'm the shit (No Offense, Jack).  This may increase my pheromone output which says "It's ok to buy me a drink".  Or maybe it's the fact that I actually say "It's ok to buy me a drink".  Either, way, I'm getting a drink. 

Now-a-days, I'm usually out with SAG and The Blondes and getting shoved aside by boys, so being out and about on my own turf really is good for boosting the soul.  And the ego.  I was actually asked to a room.  That's right, boys and girls, I was really hit on.  He's somebody I know and somebody I could do business with one day, so that's a big Negatory on the invite.  But, it was fun and funny.  He was drunk and I was sober(ish).  He's good looking and I was amused.  It almost made the airplane ride worth it!  But not really.

Happy Birthday!


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Amanda said...

Glad to have you back, JAFG! For the record, I laughed out loud no fewer than three times reading this.

I'm Just Another Fat Girl said...

Glad to be back, Amanda!



Anonymous said...

Welcome back! You don't work in the food broker industry, do you? Because that sounds an awful lot like a broker party. Except you didn't mention marijuana or a lot of pasta. ;) Happy belated birthday!

I'm Just Another Fat Girl said...


Thanks for the Birthday love! I don't know what a food broker job is, but it sure does sound like fun! I mean, for a food broker, that is.