A Very Stylish Girl

01/14/2011

283.6 lbs

That's for real this time.

I did two amazing things this morning:  I weighed myself and I got to work on time!  Well, by 5 after 8.  That's pretty much on time.  Especially for me.

So it's obvious that I'm not really doing anything to lose weight right now.  I'm moderately thinking about what I eat, but that's about it.  Mostly that includes not ordering anything with sugar.  I don't care so much about the fat.  Or carbs.  Actually,....that might not be so true.  I have consumed a fair amount of Jack and Coke.  So.  I'm minimally thinking about what I eat.  That's really about it. 

I'm not exercising AT ALL.  I have thought about it a few times.  I still drive by Concierge Gym twice a day, but I really only notice it when I'm coming home, not when I'm leaving for work.  Then I'm just trying to make sure I don't hit anyone in my mad dash to be not so late to work.  I've noticed that it's really full at night.  I see my favorite elliptical machine through the window and I realize I sort of miss it.  I can almost visualize myself on it.  I think this month I am going to might make a goal to bring workout clothes with me to work, change before leaving, and actually STOP at Concierge Gym before making it home.  We'll see. 

Well, you know we just had a New Year celebration.  Me and my skinny friends went to Orlando, FL for a 4-day-getaway.  I was up at 5-freakin-30 in the morning on Friday December 31 to make it to our carpool for the trip to the airport. 

As girls we spend the day shopping and getting last minute details done like manicures and such before arriving at our hotel to start the two (ok three) hour process of getting ready.  Three girls + 1 shower (and toilet) = Tough Times.  We all manage to survive and look fabulous before leaving for the evening.  There are at least 55 pictures of that moment to prove it.

I walked back IN the hotel room at 5:00 in the morning on Saturday January 1.  That's a champion party night, my friends.  Good times, good times.  I'm glad nights like these are only a few times a year.  There's talk of a Mardi Gras trip in the works.  None of us have ever done a proper NOLA Mardi Gras.  However.  I don't know that I'll be fully recovered from NYE by then.

As any young lady would do, I shopped for my trip.  This is in addition to all the underwears.  I don't have many options for fashion (decent fashion-emphasis on decent) being Just Another Fat Girl.  I shop quite a bit from Lane Bryant.  That's like 90% of my closet.  I score some good tops occasionally from Kohl's and Stein Mart.  Anyway, the point I want to make here is that I did some shopping for my trip.  I went to The Mall (I loathe Mall Shopping) for a mad dash on Thursday.  I needed an outfit or three for the evenings we'd be on the town. 

Apparently, LB is now carrying DKNY clothing.  It's overpriced, but I got some jeans on sale!  Suh-Weet.  And they look freakin hot on.  I should tell you, if you consider shopping for these, the Soho dark wash are the way to go.  At least on me.  They have some that are a lighter wash--which are true "jeans" to me--and they weren't flattering in the slightest.  I've got a funny shape (remember The Jiggle in the Middle?) so it might just be me. 

I also got some really, really cute tops.  The one I got for NYE was a tank-tunic (I swear is looks better than it sounds) which required something for the arms.  Well, I tried a few long sleeve button downs which just did not work.  I was getting desperate.  I was going with the gun metal grey tank with the cute bows on the neck no matter what.  Well, I do the only thing left for me to do, I ask the clerk for a Shrug.  Lord, help me. 

I've avoided these basically since I even knew what a Shrug was.  We're talking about an article of clothing that's named after poor posture.  On top of that, they fall just below the boob which is just above the belly.  This can't be flattering.  Plus, I just think they're ugly.  For the sake of the outfit, I do it.

Holy. Shit.  It works beautifully with the top!  And I look FABULOUS in the outfit.  Right down to the lushious shoes I wore that night.  And Bohhh-Nusssss, I have to buy it in a smaller size for it to fit right.  The fashion fairies were following me that day!  I love this little thing so much, I've incorporated it into a few other outfits.  Turns out a shrug is quite diverse.  

Aside from looking Smokin' all Holiday weekend, I had another positive.  I haven't changed in sizes.  I even bought two pair of new work pants while in Tourist-Town (YIKES is it ever).  I'm so tired of my baggy slacks.  Which, I should add, really aren't because of a lot of weight loss as it was from a weight gain last year that was corrected by weight loss.  I've managed to keep about 10 lbs of my 25 lbs off.

Anyway.  First day I wore them to work, I get asked like 5 times...no lie...[JAFG], you look like you've lost weight! or How much weight have you lost, [JAFG]?  To which I have to reply, I haven't lost any, I just bought some pants that fit!  You laugh, but I'm not joking.  You'd be amazed how flattering clothes are when they fit...regardless of what size they are!

So, geting back to the outlet shopping purchase of these two pairs of paints.  I pick up a pair of black Houston's (that's the cut/style) and try them on.  Fit like a glove. Completely pass the sit-down test with flying colors.  I decide that they're a steal at $30 a pop and fit so great, I run back over and pick up the same style in grey. Then, I get on a plane, manage to get my three bags (none are small) up The Stairs in ONE trip, fall down dead/take one more vaca day from work, and unpack like 4 days later. 

I pulled out the gray pair and decide to wear them (with a cute purple top and that new shrug).  I've worn the black pair already and got SO many responses [see a couple of paragraphs above] I figure it'll be even better since I've never worn gray slacks here before.  O.M.G. 

The bastards are so snug in the waist they're almost too small!   These are the EXACT same pair of pants!!!  I can wear them (and currently am at the moment) but I safetypin them instead of buttoning to make it more comfortable.   Everywhere else in these pants are fine.  The legs.  The ass.  The length.  Everything except the waist.   I think that the factory in Bangladesh where they were made (not really kidding here) put the clasps a farther apart on this pair than the other.  Explains why they were at an Outlet.   

Remember those fashion fairies that were following me that day I got the shrug?  They must have sensed my doubt.  Felt my fear.  I think that day has come back to bite me. 

So....Sorry, Shrug. I didn't mean to be a hater.

-jafg

Twenty LBS Ago

06/22/10

276.6  lbs

I'm at peace with this today.


I was contemplating as I waited for the scale to reveal its verdict this morning.  It was a quick revelation, really.  I have this 275 number in my head that I keep saying over and over again like some meditative mantra.  I was so focused on it in fact that I totally let another realization slip right by. 

I have lost 20 lbs since March.  20 LBS!!!!!  I am very happy right now.  I just updated my weight tracker (from skinnyr.com at the bottom of this blog) and my trend line is steadily decreasing.  Twenty lbs ago, I was 3 little lbs away from 300 lbs.  Today, I'm lighter than I've been since 2005.  Awesome!

So, yesterday was the Summer Solstice.  The longest day of the year.  I celebrated by sweating my ass off in Concierge Gym.  (Yes, that is an indirect way of saying I didn't go to Yoga.  Screw Yoga.  At least for now).  I was only able to get 20 minutes logged on the elliptical (it was too hot; I was having problems keeping my breathing controlled) but I also got in 30 hard minutes on the circuit machines.  I pushed myself a little more on the thigh one (feeling a little "groin groan" today) and had some really good sets on the back pushing machine and it's partner.  I don't know what they're called, but supposedly they work out the back muscles.  They feel like a funky sit-up or crunch machine to me.  I wasn't able to get to the arm workouts because my clothes were soaking wet.  Seriously, I could almost wring my shirt out. 

I'm considering some skimpier workout clothes.  I fully understand now why everyone wears tiny little things and why most of the time they're skin tight.  It's easier to work out.  And cooler.  I had rolled up my capri JMS (that's Just My Size) cotton workout bottoms and rolled my sleeves up of my two-sizes-too-big JMS Tee and tucked them into my fantab sports bra (Champion @ JMS.com).  I really considered stripping my uppers to just said sports bra.  Maybe not considered, but just serious wishful thinking.


I'm committed to @SuziStorm's Crunchy Crackhead Craziness and Gun Show.  It involves doing crunches and push-ups which started on Sunday.  Truth be known, I've not done either, yet.  I don't do them ever.  At all.  So, my goal is to get a set in this week.  Just one.  I'm working up to it.  I am really hoping tonight'll be the night.  I don't think I'll be hitting the gym tonight in that heat, so I'll have no excuse but to participate in the mayhem.  I don't have the best of lower backs, so I'll be placing a pillow just above my butt to lay on.  I don't think that's cheating, is it?  It doesn't matter, I'll be doing it anyway.

Ok, I'm signing off now.

Twenty LBS lighter.

-jafg

What Has Happened...

06/15/10

279.2 lbs

I'm not exactly sure what's happened here.  I am exactly sure that I'm none too happy about it.

You should all know by now that I am an avid stalker of Jack Sh*t.  I usually talk about him fondly in passing, but today I must dedicate my blog post to his blog post  What Would Happen.... Before you read further, please take a moment to read his.  It's not extremely wordy so it shouldn't take too long...

Read it already?  Ok, you may move forward now.

Close to this time last year, after reading this post I'd be sitting in my chair right now with a serious case of the "What If"s. Today, though, I'm not!

I've committed, I mean really committed to this weightloss journey of mine.  How do I know?  I know because I make decisions weekly, daily, hourly, even minute-to-minute about my health and weightloss. Sometimes, I don't make the right choices, but I recognize them now, really recognize them, and I take the opportunity to right myself when I am wrong.  I realized it isn't a race.  There is no finish line.


I've transitioned from the "half-hearted swipe" to an honest effort.  I may struggle with 6:00am, but I know it's there now.  I go to my Concierge Gym and I use my membership at The Gym with my friends.  A "co-ed" gym.  That I use. To workout.  With boys around.  I can honestly say that never and I mean NEVER in a million years would have believed that I would be working out at a gym that I was paying to use.  But I do.  And I'm happy about it, too.

I have traded those restaurant menus for a little healthy home cooking.  I should modify this to say that, even though restaurants haven't left me, I make smarter food choices when I'm out.  I think about ingredients.  I think about food preparation.  I thought about them before, but in a completely "I'm here to just enjoy my love of food" way.  I have incorporated healthy lifestyle into my love.  I also buy more fruit than I ever have before.  I don't have a problem consuming veg.  I do have a problem consuming fruit.  So, I buy more of it.  Cherries are my favorite right now.  Oranges are always a stand-by.  Strawberries are great too.  I buy based on ingredients in products and nutrition in general.  I've always "sort-of" done this, now I just always do it.  Period. even my "splurges" are small serving sizes which I strictly follow.  I love checking out at the grocery store now.  All those imaginary eyes on everything coming out of the fat girl's basket are healthy!  Not DIET-y, but HEALTH-y.  Go me!

I turn off the TV or computer every so often and do my best to see just how much sweat I can wring out of my body.  I found out that I love sweat.  Well, sweat that I cause, anyway.  I love seeing my arms glisten because I'm sweating.  I know when my arms and legs sweat, I'm doing something good.  There's not another feeling like it.  I love that feeling of accomplishment when I leave The Gym a little sopping.  Know what I mean? 

I blog to truly hold myself accountable.  It started as a social experiment of sorts.  It really was just to record my thoughts and feelings about my love/hate relationship with the world of weight.  It's grown into so much more.  I love my "blog watchers".  Each of you is like a member of my extended family.  And just like you're part of mine, I feel like I'm part of yours.  I love writing my blog, but I love reading yours, too.  I don't think that one could work without the other.  After all, it takes a village...  :-)

I've made my story something exceptional instead of exhausting, something phenomenal instead of pedestrian, something remarkable instead of run-of-the-mill.  But, you know what?  It always has been.

I have cornered and killed at least one of my bad habits.  And it's not easy.  One bad habit gone...no exercise. That one died this year.  Yea me!  The big one I'm still working on, completely quit smoking.  Completely.  No "snacking".  Ever.  Such a pain in the ass.

I reached deep down and found a gear that I didn't know I even had. Um, Hello?!  I posted pictures of me on the internet in my BATHING SUIT.  That would definitely be a gear I didn't know I had.

If the wind could really catch my sails, am I even aware of the places I could go, the future I could make for myself? I'm not 100% sure of where I'm going to end up "docking" after this healthy trip, but I sure am enjoying the ride!

I don't take "I can't" for an answer.  I stepped out of my own way and I'm moving full on ahead with my eyes wide open and limitless expectations. 

This is what has happened. 

This is the new me.  And I'm hungry for more!

-jafg

W.I.D.T.H.! (I'm Finally Famous...Sort Of)

06/14/10

277.4 lbs

Just yesterday the scale said 276.6 lbs.  I have decided to make 275 lbs a goal for this week.  Wish me luck!

Ok.  So We've established I was out of town last week and the week before.  Well, I was featured in Jack Sh*t's W.I.D.T.H. post on June 2! (Find that post here ==> WIDTH A Little Help From My Friends.  I'm the 4th one down, you can't miss me...)  I haven't been this excited since he actually posted a comment on my blog last year!  (Find that post here ==> I Think Therefore I Can't?. Side note, I've come a long way, Baby!) 

I didn't discover this until I ran to my internet upon my return home Tuesday.  It was like getting a Christmas present that you hope you'll get, but aren't too sure you've been good enough throughout the year.  I feel famous now. 

Onto other equally exciting news...

I have almost won the bathing suit challenge!  YAH-HOOOOO!  I told you a few weeks ago that I made yet another bathing suit purchase; this one from Land's End.  Can I just say they rock?  I opted for a two-piece which still baffles and befuddles me.  I've mentioned in other postings that, even though I am a plus-sized shopper, I do not have a plus-sized bust.  This is really aggrivating when shopping for a bathing suit.  I have enough to merritt underwire, but not enough to merritt a large cup area.  I just need a normal size C-cup.  When I buy a suit by the bra size, I end up with like a size 16 fit which isn't physically possible at the moment (<== like how I choose to stay postive here?) When I try just the "soft cup" one-piece The Girls just hang in not flattering ways.  You see, perkiness just isn't part of the picture anymore. 

Anyway.  I decided to buy separates so I can specify a smaller top size to a lager bottom size.  It totally worked.  The girl swim shorts are a good fit as long as I'm not sitting at a 90* angle and one of the two tops fits superbly while the onter one will be nice for a little later this season (said optimistically).  They're both the same size (in theory) but one's a halter and fits differently.  I love it, but I'm new to halters so it's an adjustment.  I'll be keeping that one for later this summer.  My suits were delivered on  Thursday.

Aren't they cute??

Moms and I went to Concierge Gym on Sunday.  She did two miles on the recumbent and decided to go to the pool while I finished up on the elliptical and weight/circuit machines.  I got in a 50 minute workout that felt GOOD.  I found her wading around so I took off the tennies sat down and put my feet in the water.  Heaven.  It was great.  It occured to me that I had only gone swimming once while on vacation and that just wasn't setting right with the soul.  There weren't many people around and I kept thinking "I could have gone and gotten my suit on and been back by now".  By time I got to round three of that train of thought I'd had enough and went to change. 

I decided to throw on my new suit (that's the solid black top, not the vine halter).  I pull some shorts over my shorts, throw on my white button-down I use as a summer cover-up slather on a decent layer of sun-screen (I am a firm believer in protecting your skin in the sun), grab towels and the sun-screen bottles and head down to the pool.  All in all, it took me about 15 minutes.  I walked right in, took off my top layer of shorts, the button-down-cover-up and walked head held high (but still looking down so I didn't miss any steps) into the pool.  What a triumphant moment!  To top it off, I stayed in when cute boys came in.  I didn't mind when they ended up at the spots next to ours.  I was a little uncomfortable, but I didn't let me get too worked up, after all, I have a great tan right now.  I get out, maneuver to put more sun-screen on, and totally lay out all exposed-like on my chair!  To top it off, I totally manage to get an invitation to a White Party happening in the not so distant future from the cutest one.

At the end of pool time, I get up, pull on my button-down shirt and walk out.  I didn't even pull on the second layer of shorts!  I'm so very proud of me.  This losing weight business has boosted my confidence in ways I didn't even know needed to be done. 

That's just another reason Why I Do This Here...

-jafg

Calorie Girl

05/04/10


283.4 lbs

I have to get on an airplane next Wednesday morning and I'm hoping to break into the 70's by then. I was really hoping for a solid 275 lbs, but I don't know if that's still doable now. We'll keep trying.

Sit back and relax. This is gonna be a long one.

Ok, so I've not been a healthy feeling JAFG the past few days. I even missed work yesterday which means I missed HHH class last night. I am all sadfaced about missing my workout last night. When I go back on Wednesday it’ll feel like starting from day 1 again. I hate that. I am planning on working out tonight. I need to stay in the habit.

I did go to workout on Friday which gave me a great sense of accomplishment. Go Me! I actually got in 70 work-out minutes. It felt great.

I had every intention of working out over the weekend, but I just wasn't up for anything requiring me to be outside of the abode. I felt all ick. The only reason I went out Sunday was because I was gonna have to start sharing cat food with Kitty and I'm pretty sure he'd see me starve and wither first. Saturday I added a plant to my patio garden and didn't do pretty much anything else.

Oh, I did order pizza. I got two medium thin crust pizzas actually (Domino's had a 2-pizza-2-topping-5.99-each special). It could be considered 4 pizzas because I got each half with a different 2-topping combination. Genius, really. I don't know why I haven't thought about this before.

Pizza one: One half pepperoni and mushroom (which, if you haven't learned by now, is my favorite), one half ham and pineapple (something I haven't tried since I was a kid and thought I'd try it again...now I remember why I haven't tried it since I was a kid), both sides with bell pepper. Pizza two: One half mushroom and black olives, one half spinach and feta, both sides with onion and white sauce. Yes, that's order craziness, but I placed the order online to cut out some of the possibility of mayhem. I'm sure someone somewhere in the process thought I must be high. I assure you I was not.

Now, before you start thinking that I had a pizza pig-out fest, I ate on that for two days. That's like 3 meals. One dinner, one breakfast and one lunch. Yom.

On Sunday I went to the grocery. I got all sorts of mad healthy foods. I almost bought a half a pound cake. Which still weighed at least a pound. You know the ones with the hole in the middle of them? Yeah, I had it in my basket. I was super craving on something that tasted like it was from the naughty list. Ever get those cravings? (That's a rhetorical question.)

Then I saw these "day old bakery" bran muffins and thought, "hmmm, perhaps I should be a little more responsible with my splurging and save some money". So I placed the pound cake back on the table and meandered over to the bran muffins. There were 4 in the carton. I read the nutrition label and turns out each muffin has almost 500 calories. Each. Each! W. T. H. This is supposed to be a healthy alternative. My breakfast from Panera last week had fewer calories than that. And it had cheese in it! So, pass on the bran muffin.

What I opted for was a little 12 ounce size cup filled with mini cookies with m&ms. Also, I got one 1.74 oz package of peanut m&ms. I had the cookies Sunday night and the peanut m&ms last night. All this is logged in my myfitnesspal food diary. With the pizza. Also, I did not exercise this weekend. And I stayed home from work yesterday. And I still managed to drop poundage.

So, I have to tell you about a dinner I had last night. (I am SO looking forward to the leftovers tonight). I even took a picture of the recipe card so you could all share in this feast of goodness.

I had garlic-lime chicken fajitas. Yum yum yum yum Yum! Greatest thing about it, no prepackaged anything which means you control all the salt and stuff that goes in it. I varied this by adding mushrooms to the onion mix and went easy on the peppers) and cooking spinach on the side (just sautéed in some water). Also, I used non-fat Greek yogurt as a condiment. Have I said Yum, yet? I had one chicken breast in two fajita wraps and added the spinach to the fajita (just cooked it on its own, didn’t want to lose that “spinach” flavor). McCormack has a “spice pack” where all the spices are measured out for you. I found mine (completely by accident) at Publix. If you don’t have a Publix, don’t worry, the recipe tells you the exact measurements of each spice. You should go out right now and try this.

I must say, being off the exercise routine and still watching what I ate was a great life lesson for me. I even had little splurges and delivery and as long as I kept everything in check, I felt like a real person eating real food. I mean, I’m not eating diet food. I’m eating healthy food, lean meats, lots of veg, watching calories. The healthful food isn’t all that much of a change. But, I’ve never been a calorie girl.

I’m not obsessive, just health conscious. I now know that a vodka/soda beverage is way better than a long island iced tea when I’m out. Things like that really make a difference!



-jafg

Tales of the Come-Back Kid. Again.

04/27/10

285.6 lbs

Overall, this is pretty good.  However, when I tell you that Scale said on Saturday that I had made it to 283.8 (I checked it twice) and then yesterday said I was at 287.2 you see there's not much room for excitment or sadness.  Still, I'll take this as a victory.

Look, I figured up the caloric intake of the adult beverages consumed for this birthday bash and it totals 1688 calories.  I am so cursing right now. As my ramblings have indicated in my previous posts, I am not such a healthfully minded chica on the morning after a night of partaking.  That leads to Bacon.  And lots of other things off of the breakfast buffet at the hotel like grits, potatoes, cheese, bacon, waffle, bacon, cheese danish, bacon.  And a poached egg.  And french fries and a frosty (both small) from Wendy's on the way home. Nice.  I did have a healthy dinner.  It's my lowfat version of a tuna melt with an egg.  It's actually very good and some other time, I will share it with you.

I signed up for myfitnesspal.com, which I heart a lot and would love to add you as a buddy if anyone's interested but I don't know how that works, and I am SO not registering any of my weekend debauchery. 

I was smart and took yesterday off.  I knew that I wouldn't be fully recovered.  Getting old does this to a girl.  There was a time that 3 hours sleep between "gigs" seemed totally doable.  Now I need two days to recover from blow-out bashes like this.  At least I know my limits.  Anyway.  I took yesterday off.  I had some bacon left over from when BFF and Her Hubbie visited that I had shoved into the freezer.  Well, I sliced some of that off, scrambled me two eggs and had a slice of kraft 2% american cheese on it.  Then I had two pieces of peanut butter toast for snacks.  I had my tuna melt for lunch and a porkchop and a half of sweet potato for dinner.  I slept most of the day but what I did do (which I didn't want to do) was exercise.

YEA ME!  I went to HHH class.  Can I just say that I thought I was going to die?  I know I've said that before, but, like, this time, I was really wondering what would happen if I collapsed of a heart attack in the middle of the session.  That would be so embarrassing. 

While I was contemplating coronary issues, I also noticed that I was bouncing a lot more than I first did.  Perhaps I was so worn out because I was pushing a little harder this time.  Perhaps.  I don't know for sure, though.  I was also thinking I really can't miss my Saturday workout.  I will HAVE to make time for a workout when on trips, otherwise, it'll feel like starting over again when I get back to class.  I hate feeling like I'm starting over again.

I uploaded my pics from the trip to FB (my real world FB account, not the JAFG account) and had a pleasant surprise....aside from having kept all my clothes intact over the trip, I was also looking thinner!


-jafg

Preparing for BATTLE

04/20/10

288.2 lbs

Yesterday it said 287.  That'll teach me not to blog when I lose poundage.

So I've been working out with SAG and BB for a few weeks now.  It's pretty cool.  I actually joined the Gym on Friday and worked out as a new member.  With SAG.  And I think she's kinda impressed that I can mostly push through the panting and the puffing when trying to keep up with her.  She will run you ragg-ed.  And she likes it.  Like that Jillian chick from Biggest Loser.  I am very un-fond of them both.

Workout clothes are not something that's been part of my wardrobe.  Ever.  I have been wearing either pajamas (pj pants with a big shirt) or  a pair of khaki shorts that come down to my knees and polo shirts for workout sessions with the girls and the hip-hop hell class.  Which, btw, I went to last night.  I was literally stiff as a board when I got home.  And that is after draining all the hot water in the abode on my aching back.  Bless my heart. 

Anyway.  After about two weeks of the boobs bouncing in ways that no boobs should ever bounce, I went on a hunt for a sports bra.  Actually, let's step this back one minute.  The first thing I noticed after realizing that all the ladies and the few guys that are in HHH class are already damn fit was the fact that everyone wears the little anklet socks.  I, on the other hand, have the cute little socks that come up over my ankles and almost up my calf.  Now, before you get some nerd-like image of me in my knee length shorts and knee high socks, these are just the type that I would "slouch" a bit.  I'm not trying to win fit fashion awards, but I don't want to look like an out-of-date idoit either.  After all, I am a very fashionable girl otherwise.  Over the weekend I bought some just-below-the-ankle socks.  I felt very happy about it.  Fashionable even.  One less thing that separates me from the other fit fashionistas in my HHH class. 

Ok.  Back to the boobs.  I've been eyeing this bathing suit with underwire on Just My Size and decided to search for sports bras and other work out gears. I found some great bras on this site (even thogh the regular everyday bras don't do much for me) and they were running a buy two get one free deal.  The bathing suit was on sale too.  Being the frugal shopper that I am, I went ahead and made the buy.  I got them in the mail yesterday (delivered to work) and immediately went to the bathroom to try them on.  I hate, hate, hate the bathing suit.  I heart, heart, heart my sports bras.  I got two Champion bras (same model different colors...I'm original like that) and one Glamorize bra with a faux-chami built in. 

These are not attractive items of clothing.  These are not figure-flattering-curve-accentuating things.  These are pieces of armour one puts on when preparing to do battle with HHH class.  I had a whole new level confidence walking into class last night.  My Bras and Socks were giving me super powers and a sense of invinsability.  That coupled with the fact that I found a spot where there is no mirror on the wall made me feel AWESOME.  All I could think about was jumping up and down and moving side to side while trying to shake my ass the way the instructor does.  I was looking forward to it.  While my boobs didn't budge, other parts of me sure did.  Good Lord.  Do they make a sports bra for a stomach??

Oh.  And I got a damn blister on my ankle.

-jafg

I Got Nothin.

04/16/10

289.0 lbs

I don't doubt it.  I haven't done a damn thing in the workout relm since Wednesday.  I am gonna be working out a mean mess tonight though.  I'm joining The Gym. 

I really wish I could wax poetic about something but I gots nothin.  As you may have already guessed from the title....

I've been a total food whore since Tuesday night. BB wasn't feeling very motivated, so we bought Digiorno with everything on it. And got cokes. Well, I had Mr. Pibb. I had four pieces of that great Digiorno. Four. Pieces. Yommm. I mean "bad jafg!".

Wednesday night I pigged on sushi.  And not the little, light stuff.  I'm talking tempura shrimp rolls which are then flash fried.  It was good.  I was bad.  I then had awesome fried chicken breast sandwich with a slice of all american cheese and extra pickles for lunch yesterday.  With the best damn fries on the planet.  And the biggest unsweet tea I could get and still drink it with a straw. 

Last night, not feeling terribly social, I got pizza.  Domino's happens to be closest to me so I ordered a large thin crust veggie to pick up on my way home. 

Well, it woulda been $17.  WTH? For a thin crust veggie?  I don't know if you've ever had one of those, but it's totally not enough on its own to justify an Andrew Jackson.  Being the thrifty shopper that I am, I asked them about their specials.  I tried to get them to give me the Pizza Hut $10 special but no love.  I ended up with two large pizzas for $25.  That includes tax.  One was veggie for me, and one was pepperoni and mushroom for My Fat.  We both were very  happy.  Until of course, I got on the scale this AM. 

I had one hell of a time trying to get my tag transferred from Small Beachtown to Small Southern City.  3 hours later, no tag and one hungry lady.  I had a repeat of yesterday's lunch.  Although this time, no cheese and a small fry.  I still had the largest unsweet tea that anyone could carry in one hand, though. 

I'm glad for the workout tonight. And that I ate all the pepperoni pizza already. 

It's the small stuff you gotta stay happy about.

-jafg

One Pound

04/06/10

290.2 lbs

Attention Amanda!  I lost myself a pound!  WOOHOO!  I am so freakin happy right now. 

I really have been pissed about the whole not losing pounds thing.  I've been discouraged.  I've been downtrodden even.  I've been whiney and wimpy.  Well, maybe not wimpy.  I haven't stopped excersicing.  I haven't binged. Well, I did go see a movie with my mom over Easter weekend.  I wanted to order two small popcorns and two waters.  We ended up with one large popcorn and two medium cokes.  It was cheaper that way.  I don't have much more to say about that.

My point is I haven't given up.  I have carried on like a little trooper.  With a big tummy.  A very big tummy.  And I'm so not carrying babies in there.  I have subjected myself to public display of working-out-ness among people like SG Duo and lots of other skinny chicks and muscley men.  I have pushed myself so far out of my comfort zone that the only thing left to conquer is walking naked in a crowded shopping mall or, worse yet, be in a bathingsuit at the lake. 

Let me tell you about last night.  I totally went to that hiphop workout class.  It's an hour long.  O.M.G.  Firstly, most of the people in there are thin.  The teacher is a brick house dancing machine.  People who are not in shape are still ten times fitter than I am.  At least.  So we start out by a little bit of marching and boucning to the music.  My first session with She-Devil (see yesterday's post) has taught me to be wary of the whole marching thing.  Actually, I think I'm developing a phobia.  Marching is an omen of bad things to come.

Anyway, SAG, BB and I are all standing there nervously giggling, not because anything is funny, but because we're all nervous.  I've never been to a workout class. E-V-E-R ever.  I have no idea what this is about.  I've watched workout videos before but these are things I recognize as like exercise or something.  This is loud pop music remix to which we learn steps. And then we put the steps together.  I have a new respect for Dancing with the Stars. 

This stuff was crazy.  Firstly, I have established many times over I'm particularly thick  in the middle.  I've got big legs and big ass, but it's a flat ass and my legs are pretty damn solid.  What I have a whole lot of is that Jiggle in the Middle.  Hip Hop requires a lot of shaking hips and wiggling ass and jumping and kicking and overall stuff that jiggling just isn't down with.  In case you didn't know. OH Yeah, the room is like one big mirror.  E-GAD.  Add that to the mix of motion and you can imagine the horror movie I was about to watch.  With me as the star. This was gonna be bad. 

I have to admit, I almost walked out.  I almost got to the point of giving up but all I could think of was the one pound that I wanted to lose.    I pushed myself to give this a one whole class effort.  I got a little frustrated, but only because I couldn't learn the steps fast enough.  For the first 20 minutes I thought that it really wasn't that bad.  Except for looking like a complete fool and not being able to move in a coordinated fashion, the workout itself was not that taxing.  Then we move into phase 2. 

Alright, things are moving faster, I somewhat  have down everything from phase 1 and am really picking up the steps of this section.  I'm also sweating a bit.  Awesome!  Ok, the end of this 15 minute section I'm really huffing and puffing.  My shirt keeps pulling up in front and now I know why gym people like their clothes so fitted.  With all the moving around, I'm constantly having to pull things down, adjust the shorts, fix the bra, all sorts of things.  I go for water.  The Girls are dying too.  Sweat and Missteps.  I feel a little better about it. 

So we're called back from our water break and start building on what we've learned on phase 1-2.  This one involves jumping and gyrating.  Shit.  NO ONE wants to see a fat person jump and gyrate.  Especially the fat person.  It's just not a pretty picture.  I caught a few glimpses, and I can't get the images out of my mind. 

I work it out with my own version of a jump and gyrate.  I have never been more caucasian in my life.  EVER.  Another 10 minutes pass and we get another water break.  My body is beginning to die on me.  I'm starting to feel the shaking again.  My body gets to a certain point in exercise and it begins to shake; like on the ellypticals and I feel like I could vibrate my way around the gym.  I've been told it's because I'm pushing my muscles to the point of exhaustion which is good.  I don't get it. 

Well, we've got 15 minutes left and I really don't know how I'm gonna make it.  We've got a 10 minute final session and then we move to our 5 minute cool down.  I really don't remember the final 10 minutes.  I know I didn't pass out.  I know that I didn't fall down or break anything.  The only thing I can figure is that I blocked it out due to the emotional scarring all that jiggle and gyrating had on my poor psychie.  I seriously doubt that anything I did in that final 10 minutes looked like dance moves, but at least I kept moving and didn't just fall out right there on the floor.  I wanted to.  But I didn't.  I wanted to wretch at the end of the night.  I may have to equate marching with feelings of near wretching.  They seem to go hand-in-hand. 

That's not even talking about how I felt when I got home.  I hate that class. 

I'm going again tomorrow night.

-jafg

Love and Birthday Cake

10/15/09

280.4 lbs

I was confused about that, too.

Thanks so much for all the comments, yesterday.  It was great to learn what gave everyone that big shove they needed to get off the fat couch and get moving toward healthy living.  I also got two new blogfans yesterday and had more comments than I ever had before in one sitting!  Woo Hoo!  I am feeling the love.

Speaking of Love, I may not have mentioned this to you before but it was recently my Birthday.  Well, I was traveling on the day of and didn't really get to do much fun.  Need I remind you of my airplane experience?  Anyway, What I DID get to do was spend a few hours in the Vegas airport so, I guess, it could have been worse.  Like the time I was super sick over New Year's.  That was horrible. 

Okay, getting back to my Love point.  I really wasn't feeling my 34th all that much.  It was turning out to be just a blah birthday.  Not because of anything in particular, but I didn't make much fanfare and was feeling a little 'whatever' about it.  Some years are just like that... 

So, I told you yesterday I was attending a belated Birthday Bash for me.  It was great!  My work friends, my mom, and my non-work friends all met out and celebrated me.  I know I sound like a self-centered little jafg (and I kind of am), but in all seriousness, I was really feeling the love.  It's a heartwarming, humbling experience when everyone celebrates you.

So yesterday was awesome, we've established that.  Well, this morning when I got on the scale, I really couldn't believe what I was seeing.  [See weight above]  I got on the scale twice just to test it out, but the number stayed the same; right down to the ounce.  I am thrilled!  For the record, the only thing I've really started again is cutting back on food consumption.  I'm not snacking at night, I'm eating Lean Cuisines for lunch (mostly) and that's pretty much it.  I'm a little surprised to see such a drop this morning.  I'm hoping it holds out.

Of course, I can't wait for first chance to get to my blog.  When there, I hit my reader.  I check on a blog I've been following closely this week:  Creating Natasha.  She's Canadian; don't hold it against her.  (Hey, I'm from the South.  I've earned the right to make fun of other geographical locations.)  I find out that she's responded to not one, but TWO of my witty little comments from the week!  RIGHT IN HER BLOG!  What an awesome present.  I told her it was like I was a guest poster or something.  I felt so cool! Which is really funny considering she wrote about that this week.

Everybody's birthday should be special! It's a special day! My special day just came a week and a half later than usual. I was even surprised with a birthday cake at work yesterday. It was good. I did have some; after all, it was for me.


-jafg

Now Back To Our Regularly Scheduled Program...

10/07/09

287.0 lbs

Whateves.  I had a birthday and did what I wanted.  So, my present to myself?  Weight Gain. Thanks, Me!

I've been travelling so that explains the radio silence last week.  It appears, though, that I have two new fans since I've been gone. WooHoo! Welcome JAFG Newbies!

I  travel for business regularly.  Not like monthly or anything, but enough that I have fashionable matching luggage.  I'm always travelling right around my birthday which can be fun, because it's a trip that Company pays for and it's usually in a great locale.  I still pay for my own adult beverages.  Most of the time, though, someone else is around to take care of that.  Hey, I'm a single girl surrounded by a lot of traveling business guys.  It's how it works.

I flew a different airline for the first time in a long time.  I've been a Delta girl (Free Plug) for years.  I traveled on Southwest (yet another Free Plug) this time which was pretty alright.  They don't have real seat assignments.  They assign you a letter group (a-c) and then a number (1-60) and make you board in that order.  I purchased a bump in line for $10 so I was always one of the first 35 to board.  This means you get a better shot at a good seat. 

This also means someone gets stuck next to you, you don't get stuck next to someone.  I hate walking down the aisle of a plane and seeing someone watch you and then realize you're about to squeeze your fat arse into the seat next to them.  With this seating arrangement (or lack thereof), odds are someone's gonna choose the little old lady over the fat girl.  I'm more likely to get an empty seat next to me.  Proof positive that something good comes out of everything, even being JAFG.

Also, I get to struggle with the seatbelt all by myself.  No one has to watch my face go red because it's cutting off the circulation to the upper part of my body.  Deep Vein Thrombosis?  Ha!  I laugh at you!  I have no blood running down to my lower extremities! 

Then there's the arm rest.  It tends to creep up as the flight progresses.  Not because I'm moving it, mind you, but because my thigh fat is slowly seeping underneath it.  So much so that about half way through the flight that middle person has to readjust him/herself and force it back down.  That's not awkward. 

I prefer traveling by myself.  I would rather sit by a complete stranger that I can completely ignore (or dazzle with my bright and shiny personality if I feel like it) and not worry about ever seeing again once we all "deplane".  That's the real way to go.  I don't want to sit next to someone I know who has to pretend to ignore the fact that the seatbelt is one hair shy of being too small (I would never buy my jeans that tight)  or the tray-table doesn't come all the way down and then face them on Monday Morning.  Great.  That's worse than someone walking in on you in the bathroom.  Believe me, I know.

I did get hit on a few times on this trip.  That's always a real ego booster.  These folks are either "industry colleagues" or "industry vendors".  The vendors are sales folk and Sales Folk are always up for a good time.  Sales Folk are usually a good-lookin bunch and I do enjoy some good eye-candy.  It's nice when we're "networking" after the conference meetings and they try to sell you stuff by buying you drinks.  I'm such a conference junkie that most of them know me by now and forgo the sales and get right to the drinks.  And flirting.  I'm just heady enough to still think I'm the shit (No Offense, Jack).  This may increase my pheromone output which says "It's ok to buy me a drink".  Or maybe it's the fact that I actually say "It's ok to buy me a drink".  Either, way, I'm getting a drink. 

Now-a-days, I'm usually out with SAG and The Blondes and getting shoved aside by boys, so being out and about on my own turf really is good for boosting the soul.  And the ego.  I was actually asked to a room.  That's right, boys and girls, I was really hit on.  He's somebody I know and somebody I could do business with one day, so that's a big Negatory on the invite.  But, it was fun and funny.  He was drunk and I was sober(ish).  He's good looking and I was amused.  It almost made the airplane ride worth it!  But not really.

Happy Birthday!

-jafg

Dollars and Sense

09/02/09

???.? lbs

I know, I know. What good is a weight watcher if I don't know my weight?

Today's been all about food. Really BAD good food, too. I started off the day with a cinnamon muffin and coffee. Yum. I didn't get a second cup which probably explains my headache right now. I moved to a decent lunch of home-made tuna salad, whole grain bread and Baked Lays. I also had a half a Coke. Note: I didn't have the will power to drink half a Mr. Pibb. I've ended my work day with Snicker Bar and Almond Joy. I've been a very naughty girl. I enjoyed every minute of it.

I've been a busy worker bee today; in meetings, sending emails, updating FB and Twitter. All the important things that fill my day. I even had time to find a new little flashy button for my blog to shamelessly plug that I heart comments. Really. I heart them. A lot.

I've always got my blogpost in the back of my head looking for new angles on life and My Fat. It's not as easy as I make it out to be. Sometimes life has absolutely nothing to do with My Fat. That hurts My Fat's ego, too. Sometimes My Fat just wants to be the center of attention. Hello, World! My Fat is here! Like I said, it's not as easy as it seems.

So I took the elevator (yes, I took the elevator) to go down to smoke. I was standing outside, mildly peaved and equally pleased that I had cheated with the elevator, contemplating today's blogpost. I let my mind wander to what I've thought about over the past few days and thought of the most recent blog I read which was FINE LINE by my good friend Dixie Livin'. She even knows my secret fat girl identity. I've enjoyed adult beverages with her. But, I digress. Her post was about weddings (and was really funny, I highly recommend it) and I was thinking about when I was a large girl in a skinny wedding. Ok! That's what I'll write about. My Fat would have the starring role even if it was from a story in 2005. Sometimes, though, things don't always go according to plan.

I was finishing up the last few puffs of the coffin-nail when this lady walked by. See, there's this cute little neighborhood right behind my work building. No busy traffic at all. I usually see this one guy walking around. He doesn't ever wave back which is why I remember him so well. Anyway. This lady walked by in one direction. Puff, Puff. Contemplation. Then she walked by in the other direction. She'd made her lap, apparently. She bent over and picked something up. My thoughts: "Oh how wonderful! What a conscientious neighbor to pick up litter like that!" O'Contrare M'Onfrare.

I turn around and wave. It's what you do in the South. She waved back rather enthusiatically. She was waving the litter she just picked up. "A DOLLAR!!!! A DOLLAR!!! JACKPOT!!!" That's right, my exercise-challenged friends. She found a dollar. Skinny bitch.

Moral of the story, It really does pay to walk.

-jafg

I'm Sorry.....Sooo Sorry.....

08/26/09

286.2 lbs

'Nuff said.

Have I told you lately that I'm sorry? Cause I am. I'm really, really sorry. Really. Sorry.

That's all I've been saying today. I'm not kidding. ALL DAY. And just in case I've missed anyone...I'M SORRY!

I've meant it every time. Nothing's been insincere. It shouldn't be when you apologize. That means it's not a real apology. But do you know how much it can wear you out to give a good apology? It's very tiresome. It should be counted as exercise it's so damn taxing on the system. As a matter of fact, I'm going to say that all the alpologies have worked off the 6 Oreo's I ate today. Yeah, that's right...6. I'm sorry.

Last night my work BFF and I completely had a "heated" discussion. They say "heated" because it creates a physical reaction in your system that makes your arm pits sting. You know what I'm talking about. Of course, we made up over a few adult beverages. This led to eating delish sweetpotato chips (the basket was refilled for a round-2)with a creamy bacon blue cheese sauce. Awesome. Oh, and I'm sorry. Of course, I don't feel so great today, but I tried to remain somewhat on track. Well, I mean, at least I can see that track from where I'm sitting. Metaphorically speaking. I'm not really on it right now. Whatever. I mean, I'm sorry.

I'm still all about some retail therapy. However, to get new things, one doesn't necessarily have to buy new things. I'm trying to win a cookbook from our gal Jen: A Prior Fat Girl. She's got this thing called a 'Monday GiveAway'. If I shamelessly plug her blogpost, I get an entry to win. I haven't worked out the whole remaining anonymous thing with the delivery of the prize, but I'm sure I'll think of something. Oh, don't worry about the cookbook. I know I'm gonna win it. I'm sorry.


-jafg