Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Dollars and Sense


???.? lbs

I know, I know. What good is a weight watcher if I don't know my weight?

Today's been all about food. Really BAD good food, too. I started off the day with a cinnamon muffin and coffee. Yum. I didn't get a second cup which probably explains my headache right now. I moved to a decent lunch of home-made tuna salad, whole grain bread and Baked Lays. I also had a half a Coke. Note: I didn't have the will power to drink half a Mr. Pibb. I've ended my work day with Snicker Bar and Almond Joy. I've been a very naughty girl. I enjoyed every minute of it.

I've been a busy worker bee today; in meetings, sending emails, updating FB and Twitter. All the important things that fill my day. I even had time to find a new little flashy button for my blog to shamelessly plug that I heart comments. Really. I heart them. A lot.

I've always got my blogpost in the back of my head looking for new angles on life and My Fat. It's not as easy as I make it out to be. Sometimes life has absolutely nothing to do with My Fat. That hurts My Fat's ego, too. Sometimes My Fat just wants to be the center of attention. Hello, World! My Fat is here! Like I said, it's not as easy as it seems.

So I took the elevator (yes, I took the elevator) to go down to smoke. I was standing outside, mildly peaved and equally pleased that I had cheated with the elevator, contemplating today's blogpost. I let my mind wander to what I've thought about over the past few days and thought of the most recent blog I read which was FINE LINE by my good friend Dixie Livin'. She even knows my secret fat girl identity. I've enjoyed adult beverages with her. But, I digress. Her post was about weddings (and was really funny, I highly recommend it) and I was thinking about when I was a large girl in a skinny wedding. Ok! That's what I'll write about. My Fat would have the starring role even if it was from a story in 2005. Sometimes, though, things don't always go according to plan.

I was finishing up the last few puffs of the coffin-nail when this lady walked by. See, there's this cute little neighborhood right behind my work building. No busy traffic at all. I usually see this one guy walking around. He doesn't ever wave back which is why I remember him so well. Anyway. This lady walked by in one direction. Puff, Puff. Contemplation. Then she walked by in the other direction. She'd made her lap, apparently. She bent over and picked something up. My thoughts: "Oh how wonderful! What a conscientious neighbor to pick up litter like that!" O'Contrare M'Onfrare.

I turn around and wave. It's what you do in the South. She waved back rather enthusiatically. She was waving the litter she just picked up. "A DOLLAR!!!! A DOLLAR!!! JACKPOT!!!" That's right, my exercise-challenged friends. She found a dollar. Skinny bitch.

Moral of the story, It really does pay to walk.


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mary said...

Thanks for the plug!!!! I love comments too. normally, I just get an email from my mother telling me that I'm posting too much on the world wide web... not as fun. How do you do the underline-y thingy that takes you to other websites.

Love almond joys too my friend. I'm eating 0 pt soup today b/c tonight is book/wine club and I plan on drinking most of my points today. HAHA!! Have a good weekend!

Anonymous said...

This story? Comedy gold.

I'm so glad you started a blog.

P.S. I should be studying.