Friday, September 4, 2009

Do I Stay or Do I Go? a.k.a Indecent Exposure


285.0 lbs

Holding steady, People.  Let's see what happens on Monday.

It's Friday.  Even better is the fact that it's a Friday of a long weekend.  Hoo Ray!

I don't have plans this weekend.  Well, I've been invited to watch college football on Saturday.  This is as sacred as Sunday School in the South.  I'm not loyal to any one team; it depends on who I'm around at the time.  But don't tell anyone.  It's an obsession in Small Southern City.  I've never seen so many spirit tags or bumper stickers on cars in any one place before.  It's kinda scary.

I also have an invite to go to a lakehouse Sunday and Monday.  I accepted.  Yikes.  Skinny Athletic Girl will be there.  Now remember how SAG looked last weekend?  Well, tripple that H-O-T-ness with a string bikini and super tan body.  Holy. Crap.  What is jafg to do? 

I've been back and forth about wether or not to go.  If I go, how do I say I haven't been able to find my swimsuit in like 2 YEARS.  Will I be able to avoid any possible photo ops?  Trust me, I haven't practiced posing for pictures in skin tight lycra. Hell, I avoid the mirror as much as possible when going from the bedroom to the bathroom for a shower.  That's pretty much the same thing.  Add to that the lack of boobage support in most one pieces and it's really not a pretty picture.

Let me share with you just how bad this is.  Last night, I had a dream that I was in my swimsuit with shorts on.  Not too bad, right?  Well, I'm hanging out with everyone and I look down to find I was wearing a bra on the outside of the thing.  I think that's the closest I've ever been to having the "I'm naked in front of everybody" dream. Great.

Ok...How do I get out of this? What possible excuse would I have for not going besides my fatness.  I mean come on.  I've got to be stronger than this.  I really don't get my self worth from my weight, but I don't parade around all happy about being fat either.  My Fat agrees with me on this point.  Is it possible to overcome this obvious stress of being a fat girl in a very skinny situation and have a good time?  I wouldn't be expected to wear a swimsuit the entire time. Or whatever make-shift version I have to come up with since I can't even bring myself to buy one, either. Egad!

Here's the kicker.  On one of those nights out with SAG and adult beverages, I practically begged to go to Lake House.  Two weeks later and here we are; invited.  Damnit. 

That's right, folks.  I asked for this torment.


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Anonymous said...

So what happened?

You are stronger than I, girlie. My fat and I hide most of the time.

Anonymous said...

you made me laugh! i have found that the wraps are great for coverups. i need it esp around the lower half. remember that a real friend is onethat looks at the inside of you and sees you for who you really are. a fun person to be around