A Very Stylish Girl

01/14/2011

283.6 lbs

That's for real this time.

I did two amazing things this morning:  I weighed myself and I got to work on time!  Well, by 5 after 8.  That's pretty much on time.  Especially for me.

So it's obvious that I'm not really doing anything to lose weight right now.  I'm moderately thinking about what I eat, but that's about it.  Mostly that includes not ordering anything with sugar.  I don't care so much about the fat.  Or carbs.  Actually,....that might not be so true.  I have consumed a fair amount of Jack and Coke.  So.  I'm minimally thinking about what I eat.  That's really about it. 

I'm not exercising AT ALL.  I have thought about it a few times.  I still drive by Concierge Gym twice a day, but I really only notice it when I'm coming home, not when I'm leaving for work.  Then I'm just trying to make sure I don't hit anyone in my mad dash to be not so late to work.  I've noticed that it's really full at night.  I see my favorite elliptical machine through the window and I realize I sort of miss it.  I can almost visualize myself on it.  I think this month I am going to might make a goal to bring workout clothes with me to work, change before leaving, and actually STOP at Concierge Gym before making it home.  We'll see. 

Well, you know we just had a New Year celebration.  Me and my skinny friends went to Orlando, FL for a 4-day-getaway.  I was up at 5-freakin-30 in the morning on Friday December 31 to make it to our carpool for the trip to the airport. 

As girls we spend the day shopping and getting last minute details done like manicures and such before arriving at our hotel to start the two (ok three) hour process of getting ready.  Three girls + 1 shower (and toilet) = Tough Times.  We all manage to survive and look fabulous before leaving for the evening.  There are at least 55 pictures of that moment to prove it.

I walked back IN the hotel room at 5:00 in the morning on Saturday January 1.  That's a champion party night, my friends.  Good times, good times.  I'm glad nights like these are only a few times a year.  There's talk of a Mardi Gras trip in the works.  None of us have ever done a proper NOLA Mardi Gras.  However.  I don't know that I'll be fully recovered from NYE by then.

As any young lady would do, I shopped for my trip.  This is in addition to all the underwears.  I don't have many options for fashion (decent fashion-emphasis on decent) being Just Another Fat Girl.  I shop quite a bit from Lane Bryant.  That's like 90% of my closet.  I score some good tops occasionally from Kohl's and Stein Mart.  Anyway, the point I want to make here is that I did some shopping for my trip.  I went to The Mall (I loathe Mall Shopping) for a mad dash on Thursday.  I needed an outfit or three for the evenings we'd be on the town. 

Apparently, LB is now carrying DKNY clothing.  It's overpriced, but I got some jeans on sale!  Suh-Weet.  And they look freakin hot on.  I should tell you, if you consider shopping for these, the Soho dark wash are the way to go.  At least on me.  They have some that are a lighter wash--which are true "jeans" to me--and they weren't flattering in the slightest.  I've got a funny shape (remember The Jiggle in the Middle?) so it might just be me. 

I also got some really, really cute tops.  The one I got for NYE was a tank-tunic (I swear is looks better than it sounds) which required something for the arms.  Well, I tried a few long sleeve button downs which just did not work.  I was getting desperate.  I was going with the gun metal grey tank with the cute bows on the neck no matter what.  Well, I do the only thing left for me to do, I ask the clerk for a Shrug.  Lord, help me. 

I've avoided these basically since I even knew what a Shrug was.  We're talking about an article of clothing that's named after poor posture.  On top of that, they fall just below the boob which is just above the belly.  This can't be flattering.  Plus, I just think they're ugly.  For the sake of the outfit, I do it.

Holy. Shit.  It works beautifully with the top!  And I look FABULOUS in the outfit.  Right down to the lushious shoes I wore that night.  And Bohhh-Nusssss, I have to buy it in a smaller size for it to fit right.  The fashion fairies were following me that day!  I love this little thing so much, I've incorporated it into a few other outfits.  Turns out a shrug is quite diverse.  

Aside from looking Smokin' all Holiday weekend, I had another positive.  I haven't changed in sizes.  I even bought two pair of new work pants while in Tourist-Town (YIKES is it ever).  I'm so tired of my baggy slacks.  Which, I should add, really aren't because of a lot of weight loss as it was from a weight gain last year that was corrected by weight loss.  I've managed to keep about 10 lbs of my 25 lbs off.

Anyway.  First day I wore them to work, I get asked like 5 times...no lie...[JAFG], you look like you've lost weight! or How much weight have you lost, [JAFG]?  To which I have to reply, I haven't lost any, I just bought some pants that fit!  You laugh, but I'm not joking.  You'd be amazed how flattering clothes are when they fit...regardless of what size they are!

So, geting back to the outlet shopping purchase of these two pairs of paints.  I pick up a pair of black Houston's (that's the cut/style) and try them on.  Fit like a glove. Completely pass the sit-down test with flying colors.  I decide that they're a steal at $30 a pop and fit so great, I run back over and pick up the same style in grey. Then, I get on a plane, manage to get my three bags (none are small) up The Stairs in ONE trip, fall down dead/take one more vaca day from work, and unpack like 4 days later. 

I pulled out the gray pair and decide to wear them (with a cute purple top and that new shrug).  I've worn the black pair already and got SO many responses [see a couple of paragraphs above] I figure it'll be even better since I've never worn gray slacks here before.  O.M.G. 

The bastards are so snug in the waist they're almost too small!   These are the EXACT same pair of pants!!!  I can wear them (and currently am at the moment) but I safetypin them instead of buttoning to make it more comfortable.   Everywhere else in these pants are fine.  The legs.  The ass.  The length.  Everything except the waist.   I think that the factory in Bangladesh where they were made (not really kidding here) put the clasps a farther apart on this pair than the other.  Explains why they were at an Outlet.   

Remember those fashion fairies that were following me that day I got the shrug?  They must have sensed my doubt.  Felt my fear.  I think that day has come back to bite me. 

So....Sorry, Shrug. I didn't mean to be a hater.

-jafg

My Girl Friday

08/02/10

281.6 lbs

>:o|.

So, it's a good thing I wasn't lying about The Game Plan.  I got a lot of responses from that little teaser post. 

I also got a lot of responses from Help Wanted.  I want to thank each of you on the feedback on my dating bio.  I made some recommended changes and we'll see how it goes.  I signed up for three months.  90 days should be enough to tell me if it's working.  I'll be sure to share all the lovely ups and downs of that experience.  Who Knows.  Maybe it'll lead to another blog.

Well. I want to begin by saying that having followers is inspirational.  Having commenters is, like, unbelieveable. My interaction with my Tweeple is always heartwarming and fun.  I count you all as my support system and it's so great to know you're out there cheering me on.  I'm cheering for you too! (Even though I did lose a follower over the weekend.  Sadface.) 

But, sometimes I need a little bit more.  Which is why I sent out the bat signal last week.  What I need is someone(s) to prod me with a cattle poker and make sure I'm getting off my ass when I'm supposed to.  That means in the morning when I'd rather be in bed, or at night when I'd rather be watching TV.  Or you know, all the other times I need that motivation.  SAG is very wrapped up in tennis (she does all these tourneys which is great for her, but she never works out at the gym now) and BB is wrapped up with wedding stuff and is working out with Her Beau.  That leaves me with myself.  And between you and me, I can rationalize my way out of anything.  And I mean Anything. 

Well that leads us up to The Game Plan.  I'd like to introduce you to Team JAFG.  Please say hello to my little friends!

My Gal Monday

Kimmert
http://anotherrunningmom.blogspot.com/

My Gal Tuesday

Angela Pea
http://ktf-skinnyme.blogspot.com/

My Gal Wednesday

Amanda
http://amandajustice.blogspot.com/

My Gal Thursday

Roxie
http://theroxieproject.blogspot.com/

These beauties are my virtual workout buddies (henceforth known as VWBs).  I was hoping for one and I got four!  That's one for every workout.  I'm giving each VWB my cell number and my name and we're doing real time one on one support.  There are still some details to work out.  Scheduling, Planning, Emailling and whatnots.  As a matter of fact, Kimmert and I started this morning.  We decided on 5:45am morning workout.  Well, it turns out that Kimmert's 5:45 is about an hour before mine is.  "How?" you ask?  Well, she's an Eastern girl and I'm a Central girl.  Fortunately, I slept through her first text.  It's quite funny really. 

Let's talk about that weight you see up there.  I ate food like it was facing extinction this weekend.  Friday night I had BBQ for takeout.  Saturday, I hit up fast food breakfast and then went to a wedding Saturday  night.  A Catholic Wedding.  At 7:00pm. With an open bar.  We left the reception (which had a shrimp and grits bar among other things) around 11:30 and hit an "after party".  It was at a neighborhood hang out.  It's always great to show up to one of those places all dressed up in about 4 cars.  We stayed there until it closed and then a smaller group headed to an "after hours" place.  Needless to say, I didn't get home until after 4:00am (which, btw, would be 5:00am Kimmert time).  I don't know if I told you this before, but I have a party rule:  If you're home before 4:00am it's still the night before; if you're home after 4:00am it's the next day.  I didn't know I still had it in me to be honest.

A night of one too many leads to a day of poor eating choices.  You may not understand this, but that's ok; you don't really need to.  My Hangover required two things:  A breakfast burrito and a creamy milky something.  I opted for a milkshake.  When you feel like I did, you have to listen to what Hangover wants.  And then, a nap (read as coma) with Kitty on the couch and then a creamy pasta dish from Macaroni Grill for dinner.  YIKES. I am choosing not to think about the calories and saturated fat content of all the digestables I had.  Actually I don't have to.  I simply had to get on the scale this morning.

I'm not beating myself up because I did get up this morning.  It wasn't exactly 5:45.  After realizing that Kimmert had already done her workout before God was awake, I rationalized myself to sleep until 6:45.  Then I laid in bed with open eyeballs and finally forced myself up 10 minutes later (6:55am).  I knew I didn't have time for my 30 minutes of Elliptical.  I didn't puss out though. I made myself do something that I never never ever do.  I did crunches.  Twenty of those bastards.  I have so much junk in my front-trunk that I forget I even have  abdominal muscles so this has been a real shock to the system.  I then did 5 pushups.  Yes, they were girl push-ups or "Pink Push-ups" as I like to call them, but still, I did them.  And then I did these 5 bicycle exercise things.  It's where you're on your back and you lift your legs up like you'd be sitting on a bike.  You then push one leg straight leaving the other at a 90* angle.  You hold the position for like 10 seconds and then you rotate legs.  Two leg movements one count.  It's a lot harder than you may realize. My thigh muscles are talking to me a bit this afternoon.

Since Angela Pea and I both use the YMCA for our gyms, she's my gym VWB.  That way, I can text her from the class and not feel like I'm all alone in that big scary room.  It'll be on Tuesdays after work. My choices are Body Pump or Cardioenergy.  Truth be told, I'm a little scared of both of these.  They sound like a real ass kicker.  I'm open to suggestions on which of the two I should take.  I'm also going to wear a sleeveless shirt.  Maybe.

I'm still working out the details about Wednesday and Thursday (pretty much those two gals are learning about their official team placement through this blog...Hi Ladies!).  Amanda as indicated something about weights and resistance training.  I have those circuit machines that perhaps we can work out a routine on. 

This doesn't mean that I'm only in contact with my VWBs on the assigned days. Oh no.  We'll be in contact on a very regular basis.  Via texts, emails, what-have-yous.  This just helps me really stay on track and  keep the variety going.

You may be wondering about the other days of the week.  Well, when I was exercising before I didn't have a problem getting to the Concierge Gym on Saturday or Sunday.  Which brings me to

My Gal Friday

Me!

BB has indicated a workout this evening may be possible so I'm planning on hitting the elliptical tonight.

My pants fit too tightly not to.

-jafg

I Can't Believe I'm Doing This

06/14/10 (still)

276.4 lbs

So, I got a request to post some real pics of me and my bathing suits.  Well, I decided to do it.  I guess I figure that if I can be at the pool, I can show you crazy kids, too.  So...here goes...

 

Ok.  I did it.  I can't believe it, but I did.

That wasn't so bad!  Maybe the next ones will be naked. 

Yeah.  Just kidding.

-jafg

 

6 Months Into 2010

0506/01/10

281.4 lbs

Virtual Sigh.

Life at Lakehouse was very nice.  Except for the thousands of "no-see-um" bites all over my extremities.  That's another blog-tale.  Benadryl anti-itch cream is my BFF right now.

I actually didn't head out until Saturday afternoon which I am SO glad about because it's in Deliverance country.  Not really, but there are very narrow, winding roads and I surely wouldn't have been able to find my way in the dark of Friday night.  I did bring food and beverage and all were well-received.  Especially the strawberries and cherries which were all eaten up by day 2.  BB made the Knorr Spinach dip sans Hawaiian bread.  We dipped organic carrots and celery into that and it was heavenly.  All meat was grilled, we had a "pork butt" which is aparently the shoulder, not the butt, and boneless chicken breasts.  There were scalloped potatoes and potato salad and good fresh salad to eat too.  There were also turtle brownies a la Betty Crocker (or was is Duncan Hines) Sunday night. 

Aside from the food, there was lots of fun.  We sat around drinking mimosas on a rainy Sunday morning and played  Go Fish.  That's right, I said Go Fish.  I dare you to remember exactly how to play.  Between the three of us, we made something up that resembled it and then played for a few hours.  We jumped on the boat and tootled around got some sun (yes, I was in a make-shift sun-getting outfit) and then headed back for food.  After food was more boat time and sunset hunting time.  It was totally worth the chill in the boating air for what came next. 

Here are a few shots for your viewing pleasure:

And...

Simply breathtaking, isn't it?

After heading back from the sunset we settle in for some movie and turtle brownie time.  There's no real TV in the boondocks so we watched an old Cary Grant movie and called it a night.  It really was fun!

Even though I have added a few lbs from the holiday weekend, I will do my best to be healthy in the food department in the upcoming week.  I head out for Beach Town in the morning. 

It sure would be nice to come back to lost lbs...

-jafg

Tales of the Come-Back Kid. Again.

04/27/10

285.6 lbs

Overall, this is pretty good.  However, when I tell you that Scale said on Saturday that I had made it to 283.8 (I checked it twice) and then yesterday said I was at 287.2 you see there's not much room for excitment or sadness.  Still, I'll take this as a victory.

Look, I figured up the caloric intake of the adult beverages consumed for this birthday bash and it totals 1688 calories.  I am so cursing right now. As my ramblings have indicated in my previous posts, I am not such a healthfully minded chica on the morning after a night of partaking.  That leads to Bacon.  And lots of other things off of the breakfast buffet at the hotel like grits, potatoes, cheese, bacon, waffle, bacon, cheese danish, bacon.  And a poached egg.  And french fries and a frosty (both small) from Wendy's on the way home. Nice.  I did have a healthy dinner.  It's my lowfat version of a tuna melt with an egg.  It's actually very good and some other time, I will share it with you.

I signed up for myfitnesspal.com, which I heart a lot and would love to add you as a buddy if anyone's interested but I don't know how that works, and I am SO not registering any of my weekend debauchery. 

I was smart and took yesterday off.  I knew that I wouldn't be fully recovered.  Getting old does this to a girl.  There was a time that 3 hours sleep between "gigs" seemed totally doable.  Now I need two days to recover from blow-out bashes like this.  At least I know my limits.  Anyway.  I took yesterday off.  I had some bacon left over from when BFF and Her Hubbie visited that I had shoved into the freezer.  Well, I sliced some of that off, scrambled me two eggs and had a slice of kraft 2% american cheese on it.  Then I had two pieces of peanut butter toast for snacks.  I had my tuna melt for lunch and a porkchop and a half of sweet potato for dinner.  I slept most of the day but what I did do (which I didn't want to do) was exercise.

YEA ME!  I went to HHH class.  Can I just say that I thought I was going to die?  I know I've said that before, but, like, this time, I was really wondering what would happen if I collapsed of a heart attack in the middle of the session.  That would be so embarrassing. 

While I was contemplating coronary issues, I also noticed that I was bouncing a lot more than I first did.  Perhaps I was so worn out because I was pushing a little harder this time.  Perhaps.  I don't know for sure, though.  I was also thinking I really can't miss my Saturday workout.  I will HAVE to make time for a workout when on trips, otherwise, it'll feel like starting over again when I get back to class.  I hate feeling like I'm starting over again.

I uploaded my pics from the trip to FB (my real world FB account, not the JAFG account) and had a pleasant surprise....aside from having kept all my clothes intact over the trip, I was also looking thinner!


-jafg

Something Wicked This Way Comes......

10/08/09

284.8 lbs

WTH?

I am SO excited about Halloween.  About the whole upcoming holiday season really.  It starts with my Birthday and rolls through New Year's.  I really love Halloween though.  I read once that as the holiday grew in popularity in the 60's our parents passed that holiday fun-lovin gene down through the 70's and 80's and 90's (even with the razorblade in the apple stuff-which, btw, has never really happened) and basically we GenXers and generations that followed have just brought it with us up into adulthood.  I mean, who doesn't love dressing up like an idiot and making merriment all night?

That's me in that picture in case you're wondering.  I figured since I'm sporting my super fantastic 60's-pink-bobbed-hair wig, I could consider my JAFG super secret identity still intact.  I'm also wearing a tiara, but that's not really part of the costume since I'll wear it pretty much whenever I want. 

I'm not sure what costume I'll come up with this year.  I love going to costume shops and finding great stuff.  I'm not talking Party City either.  I'm talking Theater shops with quality garb.  Stuff that you know won't fall apart by night's end.  I wouldn't mind finding another fantastic wig to add to the collection.  Last year was fun in that Pink Wig.  People loved it. Hell, I loved it!  I even bought one of those styrofoam heads for it to sit on. 

One year BFF and I went to Salem, Mass for Halloween.  Talk about AWESOME.  It's like Mardi Gras in NOLA without all the vomit and other human excriment everywhere.  Which is kinda nice when you think about it.  Actually, if you were caught with a beverage on the street in Salem, you'd be ticketed by the police.  BFF and I did buy some Absynthe online from Europe.  It didn't do a damn thing.  Stupid Green Fairy Tale!   Ooohhh.  Green Fairy.  That's an idea, isn't it?  I wonder how I can pull that off....

I'm going back to Southern City for the holiday to play with my hometown friends.  Who knows what kind of frightful fun we'll find.  I can't wait to go out and laugh make fun of all the craziness that will ensue.  Pictures from Halloween are the best.  Even though all the girls are dressed so trampy.  Oh wait, how's that different from any other Saturday night?


-jafg

Do I Stay or Do I Go? a.k.a Indecent Exposure

09/04/09

285.0 lbs

Holding steady, People.  Let's see what happens on Monday.

It's Friday.  Even better is the fact that it's a Friday of a long weekend.  Hoo Ray!

I don't have plans this weekend.  Well, I've been invited to watch college football on Saturday.  This is as sacred as Sunday School in the South.  I'm not loyal to any one team; it depends on who I'm around at the time.  But don't tell anyone.  It's an obsession in Small Southern City.  I've never seen so many spirit tags or bumper stickers on cars in any one place before.  It's kinda scary.

I also have an invite to go to a lakehouse Sunday and Monday.  I accepted.  Yikes.  Skinny Athletic Girl will be there.  Now remember how SAG looked last weekend?  Well, tripple that H-O-T-ness with a string bikini and super tan body.  Holy. Crap.  What is jafg to do? 

I've been back and forth about wether or not to go.  If I go, how do I say I haven't been able to find my swimsuit in like 2 YEARS.  Will I be able to avoid any possible photo ops?  Trust me, I haven't practiced posing for pictures in skin tight lycra. Hell, I avoid the mirror as much as possible when going from the bedroom to the bathroom for a shower.  That's pretty much the same thing.  Add to that the lack of boobage support in most one pieces and it's really not a pretty picture.

Let me share with you just how bad this is.  Last night, I had a dream that I was in my swimsuit with shorts on.  Not too bad, right?  Well, I'm hanging out with everyone and I look down to find I was wearing a bra on the outside of the thing.  I think that's the closest I've ever been to having the "I'm naked in front of everybody" dream. Great.

Ok...How do I get out of this? What possible excuse would I have for not going besides my fatness.  I mean come on.  I've got to be stronger than this.  I really don't get my self worth from my weight, but I don't parade around all happy about being fat either.  My Fat agrees with me on this point.  Is it possible to overcome this obvious stress of being a fat girl in a very skinny situation and have a good time?  I wouldn't be expected to wear a swimsuit the entire time. Or whatever make-shift version I have to come up with since I can't even bring myself to buy one, either. Egad!

Here's the kicker.  On one of those nights out with SAG and adult beverages, I practically begged to go to Lake House.  Two weeks later and here we are; invited.  Damnit. 

That's right, folks.  I asked for this torment.

-jafg

The Zero Factor

08/07/09

282.6 lbs

O.M.G. I did get on the scale twice this morning, but didn't chance a 3rd time in case something shifted somewhere. I can't really believe it. I started this whole public accountability experiment on Saturday 07/25/09. Today is Friday 08/07/09. That's 13 days of talking about my "fat" life. I'm cautiously optimistic....

I had one slice of pizza for lunch today with some salad. It was tasty. My fat feels like it wasn't neglected and I'm pretty satisfied, as well.

I was so excited to get to the blog today and share the news. You see my friends, scales never lie. The facts may change from day to day, but a scale is only reflecting the truth. It's kinda like a mirror for my fat. Sometimes I can go months without stepping on it. It waits, patiently, knowing that it will only be a matter of time before I know I'll need that little Dose of Reality. Even in the 13 days prior to today, I haven't been constant in my scale visits. I just like not knowing sometimes. It gives me plausible deniability (I'm sure you know what that is, but I love that Wikipedia actually has an entry for it).

I have a diverse group of friends. Some are weightier than others. I love them all equally, but I do go through some form of body-envy with the skinnier ones. The skinnier ones are really athletic or are hyper-focused on what they eat. We all enjoy a good adult beverage here and there.

Back to the point. I hate having my picture taken with them. I'm the 0 in the 10. Think about that for a minute...skinny girl next to fat girl...1-0. I don't pass on the opportunity and neither should you. Pictures are an important part of your people's lives. And your people love you and want to see you, regardless of your size. But I still have that thought of dread rolling around like a lost marble in the back of my mind when I step in front of a camera. With the world of iPhones and other such picture taking devices photos are everywhere and pretty much instantantly available on Facebook and Twitter and the like. I appreciate the digital insta-view/insta-delete aspect, but damn if there's always that bad triple-chin-double-middle-roll shot that makes it in the mix.

There is a good way to capture the image of a fat girl. A shot from the ground looking up isn't one of them. A shot from the side standing too far away isn't another. The best are the ones where the camera's up high looking down on the scene. That kills the triple-chin. Also, bending forward helps hide the jiggle in the middle. I try to keep these in mind when posing for a pic. I'll share a little secret with you: I practice with my camera so I know which angles work best. That way, when the candid moment arises, I'm already up on what works for me. I work that into the shot. I can't control every image of me, but at least I know there's a higher possibility for quality photo-fabulousness. It really helps to have that previously worked out. Close-ups are fine, Mr. De Mille. But please, nothing below the breasts.

-jafg