Friday, August 7, 2009

The Zero Factor

08/07/09

282.6 lbs

O.M.G. I did get on the scale twice this morning, but didn't chance a 3rd time in case something shifted somewhere. I can't really believe it. I started this whole public accountability experiment on Saturday 07/25/09. Today is Friday 08/07/09. That's 13 days of talking about my "fat" life. I'm cautiously optimistic....

I had one slice of pizza for lunch today with some salad. It was tasty. My fat feels like it wasn't neglected and I'm pretty satisfied, as well.

I was so excited to get to the blog today and share the news. You see my friends, scales never lie. The facts may change from day to day, but a scale is only reflecting the truth. It's kinda like a mirror for my fat. Sometimes I can go months without stepping on it. It waits, patiently, knowing that it will only be a matter of time before I know I'll need that little Dose of Reality. Even in the 13 days prior to today, I haven't been constant in my scale visits. I just like not knowing sometimes. It gives me plausible deniability (I'm sure you know what that is, but I love that Wikipedia actually has an entry for it).

I have a diverse group of friends. Some are weightier than others. I love them all equally, but I do go through some form of body-envy with the skinnier ones. The skinnier ones are really athletic or are hyper-focused on what they eat. We all enjoy a good adult beverage here and there.

Back to the point. I hate having my picture taken with them. I'm the 0 in the 10. Think about that for a minute...skinny girl next to fat girl...1-0. I don't pass on the opportunity and neither should you. Pictures are an important part of your people's lives. And your people love you and want to see you, regardless of your size. But I still have that thought of dread rolling around like a lost marble in the back of my mind when I step in front of a camera. With the world of iPhones and other such picture taking devices photos are everywhere and pretty much instantantly available on Facebook and Twitter and the like. I appreciate the digital insta-view/insta-delete aspect, but damn if there's always that bad triple-chin-double-middle-roll shot that makes it in the mix.

There is a good way to capture the image of a fat girl. A shot from the ground looking up isn't one of them. A shot from the side standing too far away isn't another. The best are the ones where the camera's up high looking down on the scene. That kills the triple-chin. Also, bending forward helps hide the jiggle in the middle. I try to keep these in mind when posing for a pic. I'll share a little secret with you: I practice with my camera so I know which angles work best. That way, when the candid moment arises, I'm already up on what works for me. I work that into the shot. I can't control every image of me, but at least I know there's a higher possibility for quality photo-fabulousness. It really helps to have that previously worked out. Close-ups are fine, Mr. De Mille. But please, nothing below the breasts.

-jafg

3 comments:

Mary said...

My favorite camera pose is to stand behind everyone else so just your head peeks through! LOL!

Good job! I had pizza today too.. but with no salad. I'm doing the ww point thing so I don't feel guilty. I did however skip the gym and went instead to eat pizza. Oh well.. it's Friday and work is stressing me out. have a good weekend!

Jen, a priorfatgirl said...

I practice with my camera too - no matter the size, I am quite sure most women will never be satisfied with the way they look in a picture. Just remember, you are beautiful on the inside and as long as you continue to allow that to shine through, people will notice that first!

Anonymous said...

YOU are never a zero! Those that would dole out that opinion based on appearances only, they are the zero's. I am proud of your loss and you have inspired me to try again.