02/18/2011
283.8 lbs
That was from like two days ago. Or maybe yesterday.
My ass is flat. And I mean very, very flat. We're talking square pizzabox flat. I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Usually about this time (2:00 in the afternoon on a workday) I really start thinking about it. Most of the time I realize that I haven't stood to go to the bathroom, go to the printer or even go to get another cup of coffee. This is ungood. As a matter of fact, it's painful. My ass literally starts aching because I've been sitting on it for so long.
So I got a nudge this morning from one of my real life friends who has been allowed into the JAFG secret world. She reminds me that I've got people that actually do read this blog and that I have been neglecting it. Which has been quite a few times this year. She just had a baby. Well just = six months ago.
We got to chatting about how I had a dry spell on blog topics and that the only thing going on was my frustration on the fact that I wasn't exercising. No one to blame but me. It's been bothering me. I suck. Blah Blah Blah. Well, anyway, she's talking about her baby weight that she refers to as her "dog jowels" (I don't quite get that, but I also didn't ask her to elaborate). Now, mind you, I've seen FB pictures of the girl and she looks lovely. I tell her so. She says she's become a "Master At Camoflauge". MAC said "if I put HALF the effort into actually changing my body instead of hiding it - I'd be in a much better place". Amen, Sistah.
Oh. I should tell you this is all through Messenger which is like online instant texting.
So, being the good friend that I am, I offer to be a "workout inspire-er". She responds at almost the same time with the word ADVERSARY. The gauntlet was thrown down, my friends. The challenge was issued.
We both have access to Gyms and weights. Her weights just happen to come in the form of a mini-human, which I do believe counts for the purpose of competition.MAC and I live about an hour and a half apart so I don't see her all the time. Actually, I see her like 3-4 times a year. We're going to be in Big Southern City in early June and have made that the official "Finish Line". Not that I'll lose all the weight I need to by then, of course, but we're gonna see how much we can do to ourselves (in a positive way) by that time.
Since we don't live close by there's no working out in the same room at the same time which is kinda a bummer. Right now, I have no workout buddy. BB is officially married now and the newlywed version of her is WAAAYYYY different than the fiancee version. That's another story, though. SAG spends all her time either playing tennis or going to sporting events. She's never available (in her defense, her tennis team did make it to the national championships last year). So, I will be working out alone. Starting tonight.
I know my ass is happy about getting some workout and, let's face it, I need to limber up a bit for a certain visit in two weeks (wink, wink). So, I committed to 30 minutes for the elliptical. I also may be meeting a friend out for a beer afterward. I hope they don't cancel each other out.
I am going visit Concierge Gym on Saturday, too. I will even try the weights then. Eee. Gad. I wonder what taking a half a xanax will do to a workout? I have serious anxiety about walking into a gym alone. And since it's been so long, I have to face that anxiety all over again like I've never conquered it before. Well, It's all good. I'll face my fear and will come out the other side feeling damn good. And maybe that won't have anything to do with the xanax.
Oh. If you look up ADVERSARY through Google Search, this is what comes up first:
ad·ver·sar·y/ˈadvərˌserē/Noun
1. One's opponent in a contest, conflict, or dispute.
2. The Devil.
MAC, I'm picking Option 2.
-jafg
Showing posts with label BB. Show all posts
Showing posts with label BB. Show all posts
Friday, February 18, 2011
Monday, January 24, 2011
Monday.
01/24/2011
281.8 lbs
I weighed myself yesterday. I figure it's still good today.
I can't believe that it's already the last week of January. It's hard to believe that we're 24 days into a new year. Where does the time go? It seems like we're so focused on all the little details of things that don't really matter that it all just disappears without even being noticed. That's deep for almost 5pm on Monday.
So BB (that's Blushing Bride) and I are supposed to go workout tonight. Basically that means I'm going to finally head back to Concierge Gym. I really don't want to right now. Really. I just want to go home and drink a glass of red wine andmaybe even have a cigarette snuggle with the Kitty.
It's been a hell of a day. Well, truth be known, it's been a hell of past several days. I'd love to go home and just eat mac n cheese. I may, yet. Jury's still out. I also wouldn't mind having a little chocolate afterwards. I have hot cocoa packages so that's a definite "do" tonight. Yum, Mac n Cheese and Hot Cocoa. And a blanket, my couch, and Chuck and Castle. Not all at the same time, though.
Yeah, I'm pretty much wiped right now. All I can think about is my couch and comfort food.
Of course.... It probably doesn't help that I took that half a xanax.
-jafg
281.8 lbs
I weighed myself yesterday. I figure it's still good today.
I can't believe that it's already the last week of January. It's hard to believe that we're 24 days into a new year. Where does the time go? It seems like we're so focused on all the little details of things that don't really matter that it all just disappears without even being noticed. That's deep for almost 5pm on Monday.
So BB (that's Blushing Bride) and I are supposed to go workout tonight. Basically that means I'm going to finally head back to Concierge Gym. I really don't want to right now. Really. I just want to go home and drink a glass of red wine and
It's been a hell of a day. Well, truth be known, it's been a hell of past several days. I'd love to go home and just eat mac n cheese. I may, yet. Jury's still out. I also wouldn't mind having a little chocolate afterwards. I have hot cocoa packages so that's a definite "do" tonight. Yum, Mac n Cheese and Hot Cocoa. And a blanket, my couch, and Chuck and Castle. Not all at the same time, though.
Yeah, I'm pretty much wiped right now. All I can think about is my couch and comfort food.
Of course.... It probably doesn't help that I took that half a xanax.
-jafg
Friday, August 13, 2010
Failure Is Not An Option Except in Fashion
08/13/10
275.5 lbs
I had that coming. Without regaling you with all the gory details, I consumed about 2400 calories yesterday and had no extracurricular activities. Half of those were after 8:00pm. Shame on me.
Happy Friday The 13th, Y'all! Let the good times roll! The bachelorette party is this weekend. It kicks off tomorrow at 10:00am when we hit the road and goes until we come home Sunday afternoon. I may be a little concerned. SAG and I went out and bought party favors for the evening. Cheesey little things that will totally make us all the cliche of the evening. It is going to be SO much fun! I even bought some new clothes.
I went to three stores last night: Avenue, Steinmart and Kohl's. I struck out at Avenue. More times than not, I do. But, they've got cheap big-girl clothes and when they work, they really work. I tried a lot of clothes on and this is the first time I've done that since my 20 lb drop. I hit my closet up and have a few new things that work great, but I haven't gone shopping. This was a pleasant surprise. I can almost fit comfortably in 22/24 clothes. I was pushing a 28. Twenty. Eight. Sheesh.
I can get the clothes on, but they are still snug enough that they don't pass the sit-down test. When I try a top I always have to sit down. If it looks good when I'm sitting (refering to the jiggle in the middle) then the top is a keeper. If it doesn't and I'm not going to be standing all night, well, I don't buy it. Same goes with pants.
Anyway. I wanted to tell you all that I even tried on a dress. I haven't worn a dress since I was forced to wear one as MOH for BFF's wedding in 2005. That's also the lowest I can remember my weight in a long time being 265 lbs. And since it was a Bridesmaid dress, I don't know that it counts. Well, I really want to wear a dress for BB and Her Beau's wedding in early October. So I figured I better try one on and see what it looks like. It wasn't for the wedding, it was just for casual wear. It was like a tanktop with wide straps at the top. Just below the bust line it had a large elastic-gathered band (same material, just all gathered and elasticized) and then the material fell to just below my knee. It was a 22/24. A bit snug really. While everything did work, I needed a size larger for the elastic. The way it fell made me look 20 months pregnant. Ungood. I wasn't discouraged because I actually got a 22/24 on my body. Anyway, after an hour I walked out of Avenue empty-handed and headed to Steinmart.
Steinmart was so much more productive and was less time. I was also more willing to pick up smaller sized clothings this trip. It's usually hard to find anything there because they only go to 24 or 3x. I've gotten 3x tops but never found anything else of interest or that would work. Well...this time I found several tops and even a dress that had great wedding potential. It was a 24, but I figured if it worked but was just a little snug, I'd still get it anyway. I went to the dressing room with all my found treasures--we're talking a serious armful here--and the freakin place was under construction and therefore not available. Damnit. So, I reviewed everything I had and kept the dress and two tops. I'd try everyting on at home and take back what didn't work. One of the two tops is a sure thing, the other is going to the alterations today to see if they can do a quick change on it and the dress is a no go. Simply put, I didn't fill it out where I should and did where I shouldn't. Bygones.
Kohl's was good too. I found a shirt that flattered my bustline like nothing ever has before. It is made to fall perfectly in the back and front while it is a plunging neckline and hugs The Girls. I felt sexy in this top. The only thing is it doesn't pass the sit-down test. It will, but I have to fidgit around quite a bit to make it happen. Plus I've decided to wear a pair of black capris which are slightly too tight in the waist (will help prevent overeating and they look very flattering when I stand) so the combination may be too much. I bought it anyway. I want to wear this top SO bad this weekend. I just don't want to be one of those fat girls who wears skin-tight clothes and has rolls hanging out everywhere. You know which ones I'm talking about. I mean, I am all about loving yourself and being comfortable in your own skin, but there is such a thing as fashion sense. Come on, already! Look in a mirror and get a clue.
If I decide that the combination is a no-go, well, I can take solice in the fact that I will be able to wear it in the very near future. Very near. Like on my trip to Chicago in October. Woohoo!
As I look back over the past two weeks I realize a lot of what I've been reading and even in my own experience is about not meeting challenges either set forth by ourselves or others have given us. Failing. I've been saying there is no such thing as Failing, it's just modified planning.
After my little rant about fat girls and too-tight clothes...I stand corrected.
-jafg
275.5 lbs
I had that coming. Without regaling you with all the gory details, I consumed about 2400 calories yesterday and had no extracurricular activities. Half of those were after 8:00pm. Shame on me.
Happy Friday The 13th, Y'all! Let the good times roll! The bachelorette party is this weekend. It kicks off tomorrow at 10:00am when we hit the road and goes until we come home Sunday afternoon. I may be a little concerned. SAG and I went out and bought party favors for the evening. Cheesey little things that will totally make us all the cliche of the evening. It is going to be SO much fun! I even bought some new clothes.
I went to three stores last night: Avenue, Steinmart and Kohl's. I struck out at Avenue. More times than not, I do. But, they've got cheap big-girl clothes and when they work, they really work. I tried a lot of clothes on and this is the first time I've done that since my 20 lb drop. I hit my closet up and have a few new things that work great, but I haven't gone shopping. This was a pleasant surprise. I can almost fit comfortably in 22/24 clothes. I was pushing a 28. Twenty. Eight. Sheesh.
I can get the clothes on, but they are still snug enough that they don't pass the sit-down test. When I try a top I always have to sit down. If it looks good when I'm sitting (refering to the jiggle in the middle) then the top is a keeper. If it doesn't and I'm not going to be standing all night, well, I don't buy it. Same goes with pants.
Anyway. I wanted to tell you all that I even tried on a dress. I haven't worn a dress since I was forced to wear one as MOH for BFF's wedding in 2005. That's also the lowest I can remember my weight in a long time being 265 lbs. And since it was a Bridesmaid dress, I don't know that it counts. Well, I really want to wear a dress for BB and Her Beau's wedding in early October. So I figured I better try one on and see what it looks like. It wasn't for the wedding, it was just for casual wear. It was like a tanktop with wide straps at the top. Just below the bust line it had a large elastic-gathered band (same material, just all gathered and elasticized) and then the material fell to just below my knee. It was a 22/24. A bit snug really. While everything did work, I needed a size larger for the elastic. The way it fell made me look 20 months pregnant. Ungood. I wasn't discouraged because I actually got a 22/24 on my body. Anyway, after an hour I walked out of Avenue empty-handed and headed to Steinmart.
Steinmart was so much more productive and was less time. I was also more willing to pick up smaller sized clothings this trip. It's usually hard to find anything there because they only go to 24 or 3x. I've gotten 3x tops but never found anything else of interest or that would work. Well...this time I found several tops and even a dress that had great wedding potential. It was a 24, but I figured if it worked but was just a little snug, I'd still get it anyway. I went to the dressing room with all my found treasures--we're talking a serious armful here--and the freakin place was under construction and therefore not available. Damnit. So, I reviewed everything I had and kept the dress and two tops. I'd try everyting on at home and take back what didn't work. One of the two tops is a sure thing, the other is going to the alterations today to see if they can do a quick change on it and the dress is a no go. Simply put, I didn't fill it out where I should and did where I shouldn't. Bygones.
Kohl's was good too. I found a shirt that flattered my bustline like nothing ever has before. It is made to fall perfectly in the back and front while it is a plunging neckline and hugs The Girls. I felt sexy in this top. The only thing is it doesn't pass the sit-down test. It will, but I have to fidgit around quite a bit to make it happen. Plus I've decided to wear a pair of black capris which are slightly too tight in the waist (will help prevent overeating and they look very flattering when I stand) so the combination may be too much. I bought it anyway. I want to wear this top SO bad this weekend. I just don't want to be one of those fat girls who wears skin-tight clothes and has rolls hanging out everywhere. You know which ones I'm talking about. I mean, I am all about loving yourself and being comfortable in your own skin, but there is such a thing as fashion sense. Come on, already! Look in a mirror and get a clue.
If I decide that the combination is a no-go, well, I can take solice in the fact that I will be able to wear it in the very near future. Very near. Like on my trip to Chicago in October. Woohoo!
As I look back over the past two weeks I realize a lot of what I've been reading and even in my own experience is about not meeting challenges either set forth by ourselves or others have given us. Failing. I've been saying there is no such thing as Failing, it's just modified planning.
After my little rant about fat girls and too-tight clothes...I stand corrected.
-jafg
Monday, August 9, 2010
A New Day
08/09/10
276.4 lbs
Yippee! I actually made it through the weekend and L-O-S-T weight. I am almost to my lowest point on this blog again. This is a moment to celebrate.
I love Nina Simone. I love this song. It seems appropriate and I hope you'll all take it with you through the week.
I'm happy to report that the VWBs all celebrated great things over the weekend. Angela Pea rocked out a class at the Y on Friday. Roxie kicked jogging's ass on Sunday. Kimert killed 6 miles on Saturday. Amanda conquered the elliptical, too.
I, on the other hand, was down for the count. All weekend. Before you get all sadfaced and let down because I didn't make it though my 7-day challenge, I must tell you that I had a 24-hour stomach bug (which may have been brough on by the egg drop soup I made for the first time) and...(queue "dreadful" music)...a UTI.
The positives. I've never consumed so much water in my freakin life.
The negatives. BB's bachelorette party is this weekend. I can't consume alcoholic beverages for two weeks (thank you, Antibiotics). I'll be playing the role of Mother Hen this weekend, I guess. Sigh.
Can you say UGH? I'm glad to know that Friday wasn't just a punked out day. I was feeling a bit bad that I didn't hit my finish line. Once I realized that my body was busy addressing other issues, well, I felt a little better about it. See, the challenge wasn't to prove that I could be active for 7 days straight, it was to build momentum. And it's done that. I've done that. Me and my VWBs!
So. Today is a new day. It's a new week and a new game plan for the VWBs. Right now, I'm not up for a lot of movement. This does not mean that I'm off the wagon. I am simply going to focus extra hard on eating right and drinking plenty of water. As a matter of fact, that is my VWB gameplan this week.
I want to know that the girls are doing their workouts as needed. That means Kimert and her morning sessions, Pea and her Y classes, Roxie and her jogging/BL sessions, and Amanda and her strength training.
What I need this week is encouragement to continually drink water and eat right. Stay the course. Keep the momentum.
'Cause I'm feeling good. Sort of.
-jafg
Monday, August 2, 2010
My Girl Friday
08/02/10
281.6 lbs
>:o|.
So, it's a good thing I wasn't lying about The Game Plan. I got a lot of responses from that little teaser post.
I also got a lot of responses from Help Wanted. I want to thank each of you on the feedback on my dating bio. I made some recommended changes and we'll see how it goes. I signed up for three months. 90 days should be enough to tell me if it's working. I'll be sure to share all the lovely ups and downs of that experience. Who Knows. Maybe it'll lead to another blog.
Well. I want to begin by saying that having followers is inspirational. Having commenters is, like, unbelieveable. My interaction with my Tweeple is always heartwarming and fun. I count you all as my support system and it's so great to know you're out there cheering me on. I'm cheering for you too! (Even though I did lose a follower over the weekend. Sadface.)
But, sometimes I need a little bit more. Which is why I sent out the bat signal last week. What I need is someone(s) to prod me with a cattle poker and make sure I'm getting off my ass when I'm supposed to. That means in the morning when I'd rather be in bed, or at night when I'd rather be watching TV. Or you know, all the other times I need that motivation. SAG is very wrapped up in tennis (she does all these tourneys which is great for her, but she never works out at the gym now) and BB is wrapped up with wedding stuff and is working out with Her Beau. That leaves me with myself. And between you and me, I can rationalize my way out of anything. And I mean Anything.
Well that leads us up to The Game Plan. I'd like to introduce you to Team JAFG. Please say hello to my little friends!
My Gal Tuesday
281.6 lbs
>:o|.
So, it's a good thing I wasn't lying about The Game Plan. I got a lot of responses from that little teaser post.
I also got a lot of responses from Help Wanted. I want to thank each of you on the feedback on my dating bio. I made some recommended changes and we'll see how it goes. I signed up for three months. 90 days should be enough to tell me if it's working. I'll be sure to share all the lovely ups and downs of that experience. Who Knows. Maybe it'll lead to another blog.
Well. I want to begin by saying that having followers is inspirational. Having commenters is, like, unbelieveable. My interaction with my Tweeple is always heartwarming and fun. I count you all as my support system and it's so great to know you're out there cheering me on. I'm cheering for you too! (Even though I did lose a follower over the weekend. Sadface.)
But, sometimes I need a little bit more. Which is why I sent out the bat signal last week. What I need is someone(s) to prod me with a cattle poker and make sure I'm getting off my ass when I'm supposed to. That means in the morning when I'd rather be in bed, or at night when I'd rather be watching TV. Or you know, all the other times I need that motivation. SAG is very wrapped up in tennis (she does all these tourneys which is great for her, but she never works out at the gym now) and BB is wrapped up with wedding stuff and is working out with Her Beau. That leaves me with myself. And between you and me, I can rationalize my way out of anything. And I mean Anything.
Well that leads us up to The Game Plan. I'd like to introduce you to Team JAFG. Please say hello to my little friends!
My Gal Monday
 |
| Kimmert http://anotherrunningmom.blogspot.com/ |
My Gal Tuesday
 |
| Angela Pea http://ktf-skinnyme.blogspot.com/ |
My Gal Wednesday
My Gal Thursday
 |
| Roxie http://theroxieproject.blogspot.com/ |
These beauties are my virtual workout buddies (henceforth known as VWBs). I was hoping for one and I got four! That's one for every workout. I'm giving each VWB my cell number and my name and we're doing real time one on one support. There are still some details to work out. Scheduling, Planning, Emailling and whatnots. As a matter of fact, Kimmert and I started this morning. We decided on 5:45am morning workout. Well, it turns out that Kimmert's 5:45 is about an hour before mine is. "How?" you ask? Well, she's an Eastern girl and I'm a Central girl. Fortunately, I slept through her first text. It's quite funny really.
Let's talk about that weight you see up there. I ate food like it was facing extinction this weekend. Friday night I had BBQ for takeout. Saturday, I hit up fast food breakfast and then went to a wedding Saturday night. A Catholic Wedding. At 7:00pm. With an open bar. We left the reception (which had a shrimp and grits bar among other things) around 11:30 and hit an "after party". It was at a neighborhood hang out. It's always great to show up to one of those places all dressed up in about 4 cars. We stayed there until it closed and then a smaller group headed to an "after hours" place. Needless to say, I didn't get home until after 4:00am (which, btw, would be 5:00am Kimmert time). I don't know if I told you this before, but I have a party rule: If you're home before 4:00am it's still the night before; if you're home after 4:00am it's the next day. I didn't know I still had it in me to be honest.
A night of one too many leads to a day of poor eating choices. You may not understand this, but that's ok; you don't really need to. My Hangover required two things: A breakfast burrito and a creamy milky something. I opted for a milkshake. When you feel like I did, you have to listen to what Hangover wants. And then, a nap (read as coma) with Kitty on the couch and then a creamy pasta dish from Macaroni Grill for dinner. YIKES. I am choosing not to think about the calories and saturated fat content of all the digestables I had. Actually I don't have to. I simply had to get on the scale this morning.
I'm not beating myself up because I did get up this morning. It wasn't exactly 5:45. After realizing that Kimmert had already done her workout before God was awake, I rationalized myself to sleep until 6:45. Then I laid in bed with open eyeballs and finally forced myself up 10 minutes later (6:55am). I knew I didn't have time for my 30 minutes of Elliptical. I didn't puss out though. I made myself do something that I never never ever do. I did crunches. Twenty of those bastards. I have so much junk in my front-trunk that I forget I even have abdominal muscles so this has been a real shock to the system. I then did 5 pushups. Yes, they were girl push-ups or "Pink Push-ups" as I like to call them, but still, I did them. And then I did these 5 bicycle exercise things. It's where you're on your back and you lift your legs up like you'd be sitting on a bike. You then push one leg straight leaving the other at a 90* angle. You hold the position for like 10 seconds and then you rotate legs. Two leg movements one count. It's a lot harder than you may realize. My thigh muscles are talking to me a bit this afternoon.
Since Angela Pea and I both use the YMCA for our gyms, she's my gym VWB. That way, I can text her from the class and not feel like I'm all alone in that big scary room. It'll be on Tuesdays after work. My choices are Body Pump or Cardioenergy. Truth be told, I'm a little scared of both of these. They sound like a real ass kicker. I'm open to suggestions on which of the two I should take. I'm also going to wear a sleeveless shirt. Maybe.
I'm still working out the details about Wednesday and Thursday (pretty much those two gals are learning about their official team placement through this blog...Hi Ladies!). Amanda as indicated something about weights and resistance training. I have those circuit machines that perhaps we can work out a routine on.
This doesn't mean that I'm only in contact with my VWBs on the assigned days. Oh no. We'll be in contact on a very regular basis. Via texts, emails, what-have-yous. This just helps me really stay on track and keep the variety going.
You may be wondering about the other days of the week. Well, when I was exercising before I didn't have a problem getting to the Concierge Gym on Saturday or Sunday. Which brings me to
My pants fit too tightly not to.
-jafg
Let's talk about that weight you see up there. I ate food like it was facing extinction this weekend. Friday night I had BBQ for takeout. Saturday, I hit up fast food breakfast and then went to a wedding Saturday night. A Catholic Wedding. At 7:00pm. With an open bar. We left the reception (which had a shrimp and grits bar among other things) around 11:30 and hit an "after party". It was at a neighborhood hang out. It's always great to show up to one of those places all dressed up in about 4 cars. We stayed there until it closed and then a smaller group headed to an "after hours" place. Needless to say, I didn't get home until after 4:00am (which, btw, would be 5:00am Kimmert time). I don't know if I told you this before, but I have a party rule: If you're home before 4:00am it's still the night before; if you're home after 4:00am it's the next day. I didn't know I still had it in me to be honest.
A night of one too many leads to a day of poor eating choices. You may not understand this, but that's ok; you don't really need to. My Hangover required two things: A breakfast burrito and a creamy milky something. I opted for a milkshake. When you feel like I did, you have to listen to what Hangover wants. And then, a nap (read as coma) with Kitty on the couch and then a creamy pasta dish from Macaroni Grill for dinner. YIKES. I am choosing not to think about the calories and saturated fat content of all the digestables I had. Actually I don't have to. I simply had to get on the scale this morning.
I'm not beating myself up because I did get up this morning. It wasn't exactly 5:45. After realizing that Kimmert had already done her workout before God was awake, I rationalized myself to sleep until 6:45. Then I laid in bed with open eyeballs and finally forced myself up 10 minutes later (6:55am). I knew I didn't have time for my 30 minutes of Elliptical. I didn't puss out though. I made myself do something that I never never ever do. I did crunches. Twenty of those bastards. I have so much junk in my front-trunk that I forget I even have abdominal muscles so this has been a real shock to the system. I then did 5 pushups. Yes, they were girl push-ups or "Pink Push-ups" as I like to call them, but still, I did them. And then I did these 5 bicycle exercise things. It's where you're on your back and you lift your legs up like you'd be sitting on a bike. You then push one leg straight leaving the other at a 90* angle. You hold the position for like 10 seconds and then you rotate legs. Two leg movements one count. It's a lot harder than you may realize. My thigh muscles are talking to me a bit this afternoon.
Since Angela Pea and I both use the YMCA for our gyms, she's my gym VWB. That way, I can text her from the class and not feel like I'm all alone in that big scary room. It'll be on Tuesdays after work. My choices are Body Pump or Cardioenergy. Truth be told, I'm a little scared of both of these. They sound like a real ass kicker. I'm open to suggestions on which of the two I should take. I'm also going to wear a sleeveless shirt. Maybe.
I'm still working out the details about Wednesday and Thursday (pretty much those two gals are learning about their official team placement through this blog...Hi Ladies!). Amanda as indicated something about weights and resistance training. I have those circuit machines that perhaps we can work out a routine on.
This doesn't mean that I'm only in contact with my VWBs on the assigned days. Oh no. We'll be in contact on a very regular basis. Via texts, emails, what-have-yous. This just helps me really stay on track and keep the variety going.
You may be wondering about the other days of the week. Well, when I was exercising before I didn't have a problem getting to the Concierge Gym on Saturday or Sunday. Which brings me to
My Gal Friday
BB has indicated a workout this evening may be possible so I'm planning on hitting the elliptical tonight.  |
| Me! |
My pants fit too tightly not to.
-jafg
Monday, July 19, 2010
Monday Musings
07/19/10
278.4 lbs
Technically, that belongs to yesterday since I didn't weigh today.
Right now I was Starbucks SO BAD. I'm going to settle for a coffee from downstairs with powdered creamer (read empty calories and a little bit of fat) and a splenda. Whatever.
I feel somewhat returned to the land of the living. I don't have that super stressed feeling that's been sitting on me for like the past month. I took a few days, put things on paper, and see now that the sky isn't actually falling. So now what?
I totally binged on fast food breakfast Sunday. There's my weekend confession. I had been out having an adult beverage or two the night before and totally caved to the temptation. It's been a long while and it was good. I'm glad that's out of my system.
Well, yesterday I bought groceries. I meal planned and ended up with one guilty pleasure for which I totally do NOT feel bad about, stuff to make baked tacos. It's made with flour tortillas. I also got lean ground turkey and will have plenty lettuce and tomato for the top. I did get low fat sour cream. I don't believe in fat free unless it's naturally occuring. That's just me. Other than that, I have some beautiful sweet potatoes, lean centercut pork chops, chicken cutlets and thighs. Also, I have plenty of steam bag veggies which last longer. I hate it when I don't use my produce and have to throw it away.
Speaking of spoiling produce, I've signed up for a veggie co-op program and am looking forward to my first delivery this week. Not only will I be supporting local farms, but I will also be getting food that is SO fresh. I can't wait! It's costing me about $150 a month with weekly deliveries. That isn't bad for fresh organic locally grown produce. I'll let you know how it goes.
So I was inspired by JewliaGoulia's Friday post in which she laid out her pantry and fridge details. She had all pre-portioned pre-prepared food for her easy access. I decided I can do something similar too. I got two pieces of watermelon ($.80 each!!!) and chopped them up. It was a great evening snack because it's so sweet and succulent. Plus, that $1.60 worth of watermelon will totally last me through the week (as long as it doesn't go bad)!
Well, BB's bachelorette party is set for the weekend of August 13. We were going to the beach, but in light of all the oil issues, we've opted for New Orleans in stead. Awesome! I can't imagine what kind of trouble will ensue.
I'm setting aside bail money, just in case.
-jafg
278.4 lbs
Technically, that belongs to yesterday since I didn't weigh today.
Right now I was Starbucks SO BAD. I'm going to settle for a coffee from downstairs with powdered creamer (read empty calories and a little bit of fat) and a splenda. Whatever.
I feel somewhat returned to the land of the living. I don't have that super stressed feeling that's been sitting on me for like the past month. I took a few days, put things on paper, and see now that the sky isn't actually falling. So now what?
I totally binged on fast food breakfast Sunday. There's my weekend confession. I had been out having an adult beverage or two the night before and totally caved to the temptation. It's been a long while and it was good. I'm glad that's out of my system.
Well, yesterday I bought groceries. I meal planned and ended up with one guilty pleasure for which I totally do NOT feel bad about, stuff to make baked tacos. It's made with flour tortillas. I also got lean ground turkey and will have plenty lettuce and tomato for the top. I did get low fat sour cream. I don't believe in fat free unless it's naturally occuring. That's just me. Other than that, I have some beautiful sweet potatoes, lean centercut pork chops, chicken cutlets and thighs. Also, I have plenty of steam bag veggies which last longer. I hate it when I don't use my produce and have to throw it away.
Speaking of spoiling produce, I've signed up for a veggie co-op program and am looking forward to my first delivery this week. Not only will I be supporting local farms, but I will also be getting food that is SO fresh. I can't wait! It's costing me about $150 a month with weekly deliveries. That isn't bad for fresh organic locally grown produce. I'll let you know how it goes.
So I was inspired by JewliaGoulia's Friday post in which she laid out her pantry and fridge details. She had all pre-portioned pre-prepared food for her easy access. I decided I can do something similar too. I got two pieces of watermelon ($.80 each!!!) and chopped them up. It was a great evening snack because it's so sweet and succulent. Plus, that $1.60 worth of watermelon will totally last me through the week (as long as it doesn't go bad)!
Well, BB's bachelorette party is set for the weekend of August 13. We were going to the beach, but in light of all the oil issues, we've opted for New Orleans in stead. Awesome! I can't imagine what kind of trouble will ensue.
I'm setting aside bail money, just in case.
-jafg
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Radio Silence
06/30/10
277.0 lbs
Take that, 278.0 lbs!
So I'm heading to Lakehouse this weekend. I'll be there Saturday and Sunday.BB and Her Beau, SAG and The Blondes will be there. I'm looking forward to it.
Just like last week, this week blows. There are about 5 serious deadlines all culminating this week and they all depend on other people beyond my controlling grasp to get completed, but I'm the project manager and responsible for making sure we reach deadline. That is more commonly known as Cat Herder. Yea. Fun.
Anyway. While I have made time for blog reading when I could, and forced a couple of posts, it's been an effort. I don't like it when something I enjoy becomes an effort. The Craft suffers when that happens. Kinda like Sex. So, I think I'll be silent on the blogfront through the holiday.
I'll miss you all!
Really.
I will.
-jafg
277.0 lbs
Take that, 278.0 lbs!
So I'm heading to Lakehouse this weekend. I'll be there Saturday and Sunday.BB and Her Beau, SAG and The Blondes will be there. I'm looking forward to it.
Just like last week, this week blows. There are about 5 serious deadlines all culminating this week and they all depend on other people beyond my controlling grasp to get completed, but I'm the project manager and responsible for making sure we reach deadline. That is more commonly known as Cat Herder. Yea. Fun.
Anyway. While I have made time for blog reading when I could, and forced a couple of posts, it's been an effort. I don't like it when something I enjoy becomes an effort. The Craft suffers when that happens. Kinda like Sex. So, I think I'll be silent on the blogfront through the holiday.
Please have a happy and safe Independence Day holiday! Watch National Treasure and appreciate some American history!
I'll miss you all!
Really.
I will.
-jafg
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Add It Up
06/17/10
278.0 lbs
I feel a little better, but I'm hoping for more movement tomorrow.
So, I tried a different elliptical machine last night. There are so many kinds and each one seems to be different. This one was more like pedalling a bike than any other I've been on. I didn't like it AT ALL. I had to put it at the lowest level and it seemed to only work the top of my thighs (the quads, right?). My knee was very warm when I was done, too. Also, on all the other machines, I usually kill a mile in just under 15 minutes. I could only do a half a mile in just over 15 minutes. On the lowest level. What?!?
I met BB and 15YO at Concierge Gym last night. 15YO was running, like running, on the treadmill and BB was busy on the machine from hell. They met me there and had already been going for 7 minutes. After 20 minutes they both stopped and were waiting on me. Well, I had only been on for about 10 minutes and already thought I was gonna die. BB felt the same. She had originally planned on doing 30 minutes (me too) but the machine from hell got the best of her. In stead of going to the pool or working on the circuit trainers, both of them parked it by me and were just waiting. Nothing like a little pressure. I only made it another 5 minutes and then threw in the towel. Shame on me. Then we went to hang out at the pool.
I've been mildly concerned about the big weight change (from a 276.6 lbs reading to a 279.2 lbs reading ... huh?!). I have to be honest with myself (and, I guess, with you).
I totally snacked on Saturday night. And on Sunday night. And...yes, Monday night, too.
I've discovered sunkist fruit gummies. Damn they're good. I ate way too many packets (about 110 calories a pack I just found out. YIKES). I also bought little mini snicker icecream bars (90 calories a peice). I had one of them Sunday night and TWO of them Monday night. I may have had one Tuesday night, too. I'm not sure. It's all starting to blur together in a guilt-induced haze.
I did exercise Sunday, Monday and yesterday. I had unusual activity of laser tag and roller skating on Wednesday. Oh, which reminds me. We went for ice cream afterward. Damnit.
Now, I knew I was snacking when I snacked. I knew what I was buying when I was buying those mini snicker icecream bars. In my defence,though, you should all know how I am about a Snicker Bar. I mean, it's its own blog post label for goodness sake! I was pretty excited to see they came in the 90-calorie variety. And those sunkist fruit gummies are very small packs with only about 10 gummies in each. When you eat 4 packs (over the course of about 3 hours), well, that was a bit much. At least Sunday it was only 2. Packs that is. Which is 220 calories. Sheesh.
Honestly, I didn't think anything of the snacking (with the exception of eating TWO snicker icecream bars that one night) at the time it was happening. I was actually thinking that I was doing good believe it or not. I was comparing to when I used to really have at it. Icecream woulda been involved, but it woulda been like a pint Ben & Jerry's. All at one sitting. Not kidding. So, comparing my "now self" to my "then self", I thought I had really improved. The scale showed me I was wrong. I could have been wronger (fyi...that's not a word). I remembered to eat healthy the rest of the time. Breakfast, lunch, diner...all okay. Snacking...not so much. And it caught up with me.
My life in moderation hasn't been as moderate as I let myself believe it was. I don't feel bad about it, I just realize that all my decisions affect me, no matter what they may be.
Even the reduced calorie kind.
-jafg
278.0 lbs
I feel a little better, but I'm hoping for more movement tomorrow.
So, I tried a different elliptical machine last night. There are so many kinds and each one seems to be different. This one was more like pedalling a bike than any other I've been on. I didn't like it AT ALL. I had to put it at the lowest level and it seemed to only work the top of my thighs (the quads, right?). My knee was very warm when I was done, too. Also, on all the other machines, I usually kill a mile in just under 15 minutes. I could only do a half a mile in just over 15 minutes. On the lowest level. What?!?
I met BB and 15YO at Concierge Gym last night. 15YO was running, like running, on the treadmill and BB was busy on the machine from hell. They met me there and had already been going for 7 minutes. After 20 minutes they both stopped and were waiting on me. Well, I had only been on for about 10 minutes and already thought I was gonna die. BB felt the same. She had originally planned on doing 30 minutes (me too) but the machine from hell got the best of her. In stead of going to the pool or working on the circuit trainers, both of them parked it by me and were just waiting. Nothing like a little pressure. I only made it another 5 minutes and then threw in the towel. Shame on me. Then we went to hang out at the pool.
I've been mildly concerned about the big weight change (from a 276.6 lbs reading to a 279.2 lbs reading ... huh?!). I have to be honest with myself (and, I guess, with you).
I totally snacked on Saturday night. And on Sunday night. And...yes, Monday night, too.
I've discovered sunkist fruit gummies. Damn they're good. I ate way too many packets (about 110 calories a pack I just found out. YIKES). I also bought little mini snicker icecream bars (90 calories a peice). I had one of them Sunday night and TWO of them Monday night. I may have had one Tuesday night, too. I'm not sure. It's all starting to blur together in a guilt-induced haze.
I did exercise Sunday, Monday and yesterday. I had unusual activity of laser tag and roller skating on Wednesday. Oh, which reminds me. We went for ice cream afterward. Damnit.
Now, I knew I was snacking when I snacked. I knew what I was buying when I was buying those mini snicker icecream bars. In my defence,though, you should all know how I am about a Snicker Bar. I mean, it's its own blog post label for goodness sake! I was pretty excited to see they came in the 90-calorie variety. And those sunkist fruit gummies are very small packs with only about 10 gummies in each. When you eat 4 packs (over the course of about 3 hours), well, that was a bit much. At least Sunday it was only 2. Packs that is. Which is 220 calories. Sheesh.
Honestly, I didn't think anything of the snacking (with the exception of eating TWO snicker icecream bars that one night) at the time it was happening. I was actually thinking that I was doing good believe it or not. I was comparing to when I used to really have at it. Icecream woulda been involved, but it woulda been like a pint Ben & Jerry's. All at one sitting. Not kidding. So, comparing my "now self" to my "then self", I thought I had really improved. The scale showed me I was wrong. I could have been wronger (fyi...that's not a word). I remembered to eat healthy the rest of the time. Breakfast, lunch, diner...all okay. Snacking...not so much. And it caught up with me.
My life in moderation hasn't been as moderate as I let myself believe it was. I don't feel bad about it, I just realize that all my decisions affect me, no matter what they may be.
Even the reduced calorie kind.
-jafg
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Roller Derby, Anyone?
06/16/10
279.2 lbs
I'm still evaluating my recently past behavior. I am also going to the gym tonight.
I'm still a little high from all the twitter and bloggin love I've gotten over the past few days. I have grown to 53 followers! I always find it to be an exciting/humbling experience when a new follower sprouts up. I also do my best to follow you all and add you to my blogs I heart a lot list. (If you're not on there, please let me know!). I accidentally selected to follow myself one day--which apparently you can totally do--and now I don't want to unfollow cause I don't want to decrease my numbers. I heart you all! Love You Mean It!
While every comment and follower means the world to me, the love received over the picture posting was SO unexpected and encouraging! I'll tell you, I have a regular square-ish screen on my laptop and have a widescreen monitor on the desktop (which I use most of the time). I posted those pictures on the regular square-ish screen machine. I think, after seeing them on the widescreen, had I seen them on this machine first, I SO would not have posted them. EGAD. Widescreen makes a difference.
Bygones.
So, I played laser tag last night. And I went skating. Yeah, skating. Like old-school-orange-wheeled-fake-suede-horrible-shoelacey skating. I learned a few things. Firstly, skating rinks still smell like stinky feet and sweaty kids. Secondly, there is no such thing as a fat skater. I have the videos to prove it.
Don't get me wrong. There were some kids in there that still had a fair share of baby pudge going on. But I'm talking a lack of Big People. Not the parents sitting on the sidelines, but the folks out on the rink. Most of them were under the age of 10, btw. Then a good many of them were under the age of 15. There was some dude there that was totally sporting the scary 70's porn mustache and I never exactly saw him with a kid. I'm still a little concerned about that one. Anyway, point is NONE of them were fat.
So BB's little 15 year old brother came for a two week visit. Because of this, BB and Her Beau are trying to find "minor friendly" things to do. Last night, it was half price night at this game park. So, we piled in the car and headed for some laser tag. I've never played laser tag before. It involves a black light and 10 year old kids. I think next time I'll have a few drinks first. Of the Adult Beverage variety.
Well. We play 2 rather fast rounds of laser tag and decide that's enough. As we're walking out the notion hits me...How freakin fun would it be to roller skate again after like 20 years? (Holy. Shit. It HAS been 20 years. 8-/ ) We all head over--after a little convincing-- for the skate exchange where you give Them your shoes and They give you hideous skates. I'm still stoked anyway. We then sit down on the box benches (ohmawgaw, they still use those carpet covered box benches!) and begin to put on said hideous skates.
A new notion hits me. How freakin stupid is this idea, anyway??!!?
...Dear Lord.......Please Please Please don't let me die!...
I did survive. I stayed on the carpet area (which was a cookie monster blue) so I'd have a little more traction on the wheels of death. I actually made it almost completely around the rink floor once. I was clinging with all my might to the poor 15YO's arm. I bet he still has white marks where I was gripping so hard. Thankfully, though, I never fell. I also got one hell of a strength training workout for my legs. Believe me.
It wasn't until I sat down and took the hideous skates off that I had the revalation about the fat people and skating and how there wasn't a single one of them in there besides me. I was the biggest girl on the block, or in the rink, or whatever. I can't tell you why I realized this and I find it a little odd that I had the thought, to be honest. I can tell you, though, I didn't feel self conscious...not once.
I was too busy concentrating on not breaking my ass.
-jafg
279.2 lbs
I'm still evaluating my recently past behavior. I am also going to the gym tonight.
I'm still a little high from all the twitter and bloggin love I've gotten over the past few days. I have grown to 53 followers! I always find it to be an exciting/humbling experience when a new follower sprouts up. I also do my best to follow you all and add you to my blogs I heart a lot list. (If you're not on there, please let me know!). I accidentally selected to follow myself one day--which apparently you can totally do--and now I don't want to unfollow cause I don't want to decrease my numbers. I heart you all! Love You Mean It!
While every comment and follower means the world to me, the love received over the picture posting was SO unexpected and encouraging! I'll tell you, I have a regular square-ish screen on my laptop and have a widescreen monitor on the desktop (which I use most of the time). I posted those pictures on the regular square-ish screen machine. I think, after seeing them on the widescreen, had I seen them on this machine first, I SO would not have posted them. EGAD. Widescreen makes a difference.
Bygones.
Don't get me wrong. There were some kids in there that still had a fair share of baby pudge going on. But I'm talking a lack of Big People. Not the parents sitting on the sidelines, but the folks out on the rink. Most of them were under the age of 10, btw. Then a good many of them were under the age of 15. There was some dude there that was totally sporting the scary 70's porn mustache and I never exactly saw him with a kid. I'm still a little concerned about that one. Anyway, point is NONE of them were fat.
So BB's little 15 year old brother came for a two week visit. Because of this, BB and Her Beau are trying to find "minor friendly" things to do. Last night, it was half price night at this game park. So, we piled in the car and headed for some laser tag. I've never played laser tag before. It involves a black light and 10 year old kids. I think next time I'll have a few drinks first. Of the Adult Beverage variety.
Well. We play 2 rather fast rounds of laser tag and decide that's enough. As we're walking out the notion hits me...How freakin fun would it be to roller skate again after like 20 years? (Holy. Shit. It HAS been 20 years. 8-/ ) We all head over--after a little convincing-- for the skate exchange where you give Them your shoes and They give you hideous skates. I'm still stoked anyway. We then sit down on the box benches (ohmawgaw, they still use those carpet covered box benches!) and begin to put on said hideous skates.
A new notion hits me. How freakin stupid is this idea, anyway??!!?
...Dear Lord.......Please Please Please don't let me die!...
I did survive. I stayed on the carpet area (which was a cookie monster blue) so I'd have a little more traction on the wheels of death. I actually made it almost completely around the rink floor once. I was clinging with all my might to the poor 15YO's arm. I bet he still has white marks where I was gripping so hard. Thankfully, though, I never fell. I also got one hell of a strength training workout for my legs. Believe me.
It wasn't until I sat down and took the hideous skates off that I had the revalation about the fat people and skating and how there wasn't a single one of them in there besides me. I was the biggest girl on the block, or in the rink, or whatever. I can't tell you why I realized this and I find it a little odd that I had the thought, to be honest. I can tell you, though, I didn't feel self conscious...not once.
I was too busy concentrating on not breaking my ass.
-jafg
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
6 Months Into 2010
281.4 lbs
Virtual Sigh.
Life at Lakehouse was very nice. Except for the thousands of "no-see-um" bites all over my extremities. That's another blog-tale. Benadryl anti-itch cream is my BFF right now.
I actually didn't head out until Saturday afternoon which I am SO glad about because it's in Deliverance country. Not really, but there are very narrow, winding roads and I surely wouldn't have been able to find my way in the dark of Friday night. I did bring food and beverage and all were well-received. Especially the strawberries and cherries which were all eaten up by day 2. BB made the Knorr Spinach dip sans Hawaiian bread. We dipped organic carrots and celery into that and it was heavenly. All meat was grilled, we had a "pork butt" which is aparently the shoulder, not the butt, and boneless chicken breasts. There were scalloped potatoes and potato salad and good fresh salad to eat too. There were also turtle brownies a la Betty Crocker (or was is Duncan Hines) Sunday night.
Aside from the food, there was lots of fun. We sat around drinking mimosas on a rainy Sunday morning and played Go Fish. That's right, I said Go Fish. I dare you to remember exactly how to play. Between the three of us, we made something up that resembled it and then played for a few hours. We jumped on the boat and tootled around got some sun (yes, I was in a make-shift sun-getting outfit) and then headed back for food. After food was more boat time and sunset hunting time. It was totally worth the chill in the boating air for what came next.
Here are a few shots for your viewing pleasure:
And...
Simply breathtaking, isn't it?
After heading back from the sunset we settle in for some movie and turtle brownie time. There's no real TV in the boondocks so we watched an old Cary Grant movie and called it a night. It really was fun!
Even though I have added a few lbs from the holiday weekend, I will do my best to be healthy in the food department in the upcoming week. I head out for Beach Town in the morning.
It sure would be nice to come back to lost lbs...
-jafg
Friday, May 28, 2010
Foot Loose & Fancy Free
05/28/10
278.4 lbs
Finally! I pushed myself back down. I've gotten rid of last weekend's mishaps and settled back to 18 lbs lost. Whew. Just in time for a mini-break (lymie speak for long weekend). I've decided to bring some good, portable friuts and veg to the Lakehouse. I mean, who doesn't love a banana?
I just bought two "tankini" tops and a pair of girl swim-shorts from Land's End. Here goes round 3 of the bathing suit fight. They're having a sale, $10 off the price for mix and match separates. The link'll take you to the sale items. In case you're keeping score at home, so far the count is 2-0 favoring the bathing suits.
After this weekend, I'm back at work for a day and then heading down to Beach Town for a "work conference". This is the one little conference a year where it's all fun. The people are great the meetings are quick and it's play play play until the wee hours of the morning. I'm staying in a beachfront, upscale hotel and I don't have to pay for it. As if it couldn't get better, I'm staying some extra days to see friends and family. I'm looking forward to it, but I really really really have to pay attention to food choices and make sure they're healthy ones. Also, since I'll have BFF in tow, I hope to have a workout partner for the hotel gym. They have one. I checked. That leaves me with my favorite gourmet pizza places and martini bars and Pińa Coladas on the beach.
278.4 lbs
Finally! I pushed myself back down. I've gotten rid of last weekend's mishaps and settled back to 18 lbs lost. Whew. Just in time for a mini-break (lymie speak for long weekend). I've decided to bring some good, portable friuts and veg to the Lakehouse. I mean, who doesn't love a banana?
I just bought two "tankini" tops and a pair of girl swim-shorts from Land's End. Here goes round 3 of the bathing suit fight. They're having a sale, $10 off the price for mix and match separates. The link'll take you to the sale items. In case you're keeping score at home, so far the count is 2-0 favoring the bathing suits.
After this weekend, I'm back at work for a day and then heading down to Beach Town for a "work conference". This is the one little conference a year where it's all fun. The people are great the meetings are quick and it's play play play until the wee hours of the morning. I'm staying in a beachfront, upscale hotel and I don't have to pay for it. As if it couldn't get better, I'm staying some extra days to see friends and family. I'm looking forward to it, but I really really really have to pay attention to food choices and make sure they're healthy ones. Also, since I'll have BFF in tow, I hope to have a workout partner for the hotel gym. They have one. I checked. That leaves me with my favorite gourmet pizza places and martini bars and Pińa Coladas on the beach.And hopefully a whole lotta "Damn, you look good!" motivation.
-jafg
Thursday, May 27, 2010
S.O.S.---W.W.Y.D.---S.O.S.
05/27/10
279.4 lbs
I had mexican yesterday so I'm thrilled that it didn't move an ounce.
I've decided to go to the Lakehouse this weekend. I am super excited so I know I made the right choice. I now have a new dilemma. Food.
From Friday night to Monday morning, I will be living/breathing/sleeping/eating Lakehouse life. If you've been reading for awhile, then you know that I'm not exactly a timid jafg. I have an opinion and share it pretty much freely (but always with a smile). However. I would never want to be rude. Especially in a hospitality situation. All the food's being provided, and even the adult beverages. I've been partaking of adult beverages long enough to know that even when said beverages are supplied, I should always bring something "for the house". Well, what if I want to bring my own food? Would that say "Sorry, BB and Her Beau, but I'm too good to eat that hotdog you're trying to serve me."
Now, if it were just for one day, I'd suck it up and eat that hotdog (and secretly love every bite of it), but we're talking an extended stay at the beer-n-brat household. Especially on a holiday weekend like M Day.
I need some advise my fellow bloggin-kids. What Would You Do in a situation such as this?
-jafg
279.4 lbs
I had mexican yesterday so I'm thrilled that it didn't move an ounce.
I've decided to go to the Lakehouse this weekend. I am super excited so I know I made the right choice. I now have a new dilemma. Food.
From Friday night to Monday morning, I will be living/breathing/sleeping/eating Lakehouse life. If you've been reading for awhile, then you know that I'm not exactly a timid jafg. I have an opinion and share it pretty much freely (but always with a smile). However. I would never want to be rude. Especially in a hospitality situation. All the food's being provided, and even the adult beverages. I've been partaking of adult beverages long enough to know that even when said beverages are supplied, I should always bring something "for the house". Well, what if I want to bring my own food? Would that say "Sorry, BB and Her Beau, but I'm too good to eat that hotdog you're trying to serve me."
Now, if it were just for one day, I'd suck it up and eat that hotdog (and secretly love every bite of it), but we're talking an extended stay at the beer-n-brat household. Especially on a holiday weekend like M Day.
I need some advise my fellow bloggin-kids. What Would You Do in a situation such as this?
-jafg
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Yin and Yang and Predictable Predicaments
05/25/10
279.2 lbs
Whew. It's still not the 278.2 lbs it was on Friday, but I'll take it.
I finally broke the exercise drought this morning. I woke up before 6:00am, got out of bed by 6:10 and was dressed and at Concierge Gym by 6:30. Some chick was on my favorite elliptical which made me cuss. I was a little nervous about trying to do exercise this morning because of my knee. It went ok. I had initially set the timer for 30 minutes, but ended up only doing 20. It took me about 10 minutes to decide that my knee was ok so the last 10 minutes really worked up a sweat. I kept the pace at "moderate" and was pretty happy when I finished.
It was nice to have that feeling of sweatiness again. I'm not sure how to explain this really, but it does give one a sense of accomplishment. Like instant gratification, even, because by sweating you know that you're pushing your body to be the best it can be and work like the machine it is. Perhaps that's just the endorphins that are being released in my brain, but I love that feeling. I'm amazed at how quickly I forgot just how great it feels to work up a good sweat.
I've also realized something else. I appreciate my healthy eating habits a whole helluva lot more when I have exercise in the mix. It's not just the extra calories that I get to add to my "net count" or whatever that it, it's like the yin/yang affect or something. Like knowing that one is working to help the other one. Pretty darn cool.
And in other news....
This weekend is Memorial Day weekend in case you didn't know. If I actually have readers from outside of the USA and/or you don't know what Memorial Day holiday is, well, it's a day we honor all those who have fallen in the service of our country. I always hang Old Glory on this day.
It's also a day of Bar-B-Que and Beer. Not nearly as noble, but equally steeped in tradition.
BB and Her Beau invited me out to Lakehouse for M Day this year. I'm on the fence about going. Of course I'm fretting the whole Bathing Suit + Friends combo, but it's not nearly as bad as it was for Labor Day. I see this as progress. It's encouraging. I've exercised with the kids as A Unit (everything is pretty much "A Unit" with these two) and they totally heart me for me, there's no doubt. I'm just trying to play out in my head what I'll be doing. I also know that they'll be out of town and since I've rejoined the apartment dwellers, I don't have a grill and theirs will be available for use. Yep. What I've got here is a predicament. I've still got a few days before I have to really make my mind up.
On a good note, I am 5.8 lbs lighter than I was last time I was at their place.
Yea!
-jafg
279.2 lbs
Whew. It's still not the 278.2 lbs it was on Friday, but I'll take it.
I finally broke the exercise drought this morning. I woke up before 6:00am, got out of bed by 6:10 and was dressed and at Concierge Gym by 6:30. Some chick was on my favorite elliptical which made me cuss. I was a little nervous about trying to do exercise this morning because of my knee. It went ok. I had initially set the timer for 30 minutes, but ended up only doing 20. It took me about 10 minutes to decide that my knee was ok so the last 10 minutes really worked up a sweat. I kept the pace at "moderate" and was pretty happy when I finished.
It was nice to have that feeling of sweatiness again. I'm not sure how to explain this really, but it does give one a sense of accomplishment. Like instant gratification, even, because by sweating you know that you're pushing your body to be the best it can be and work like the machine it is. Perhaps that's just the endorphins that are being released in my brain, but I love that feeling. I'm amazed at how quickly I forgot just how great it feels to work up a good sweat.
I've also realized something else. I appreciate my healthy eating habits a whole helluva lot more when I have exercise in the mix. It's not just the extra calories that I get to add to my "net count" or whatever that it, it's like the yin/yang affect or something. Like knowing that one is working to help the other one. Pretty darn cool.
And in other news....
This weekend is Memorial Day weekend in case you didn't know. If I actually have readers from outside of the USA and/or you don't know what Memorial Day holiday is, well, it's a day we honor all those who have fallen in the service of our country. I always hang Old Glory on this day.
It's also a day of Bar-B-Que and Beer. Not nearly as noble, but equally steeped in tradition.
BB and Her Beau invited me out to Lakehouse for M Day this year. I'm on the fence about going. Of course I'm fretting the whole Bathing Suit + Friends combo, but it's not nearly as bad as it was for Labor Day. I see this as progress. It's encouraging. I've exercised with the kids as A Unit (everything is pretty much "A Unit" with these two) and they totally heart me for me, there's no doubt. I'm just trying to play out in my head what I'll be doing. I also know that they'll be out of town and since I've rejoined the apartment dwellers, I don't have a grill and theirs will be available for use. Yep. What I've got here is a predicament. I've still got a few days before I have to really make my mind up.
On a good note, I am 5.8 lbs lighter than I was last time I was at their place.
Yea!
-jafg
Friday, May 21, 2010
The Hate Side of My Love/Hate Relationship With The World Of Weight
05/21/10
278.2 lbs
*Warning: Cranky JAFG Ahead*
I'm really not sure what to think. Since this little bloggin space's inception, I've not been this low on the scale.
I'm freakin happy! BUT...I have this overwhelming need to walk around and whisper I've lost 18 lbs because if I say it too loud, it might jinx it or something. Like when people whisper *cancer* or *prison*.
So yeah, I've lost 18 lbs. It's not a fluke like a 3 lbs fluctuation could be. It's 18 solid lbs. If someone asks me how I'm doing it I get to tell them "I'm doing it the old fashioned way: Healthy Eating and Exercise". No one wants to hear that, but it's the truth. Now, IF there were some magic way to do this while being able to eat whatever whenever I wanted, and I didn't have to exercise, then, well, I bet I'd be doing that instead.
My life's been very boring as of late. I have no funny stories to share or even any to pull from in the right recent past. I'm watching what I do for food religiously and tracking it all on myfitnesspal. I'm weighing myself every morning and, this week, have just been sitting on my couch watching tv or checking FB at night.
I love routine and I hate it too! Right now, I'm totally in an I-hate-it phase. I'm in a rut/funk/ditch/somethin and I need a change. I've really had to be a grown-up at work which, translated, means I'm not doing anything fun. I need to blow off some steam. I had plans to visit BFF and Her Hubbie this weekend, but had to cancel that. Grr. I've been disconnected from SAG and BB because everyone is just busy with l-i-f-e right now.
On a good note, I am going to Beach Town the first week of June. I'll be there for work, but I'm bringing BFF (it'll just be her and me) and we're staying in a fantab hotel ON the beach. Even when I lived there, I never stayed ON the beach. Well, there was that one Halloween weekend and then that random night one summer, but you know what I mean. I'm really looking forward to that!
I've strained my knee from pushing too hard through HHH class and bouncing around and all that. You know how walking down the stairs is usually the easiest thing in the world? Yeah. Not for me. Not right now. I hate this.
Turns out all those crunching sounds that I've heard in my knee for years has been what they call runner's knee. Commonplace among runners and overweight people. Well, I'm not in the runner category in case you didn't know. Actually, while I've had this mild, unchecked version of this pain in my knee for at least two years back that I can remember, since I started exercising in like 0-to-60 mode I've had a serious flare-up.
It's treatable with stretches and "quad stengthening" and a brace and ice and Motrin which is fantastic (seriously-it's a mostly free treatment plan). I also will actually have to bounce LESS in HHH class and focus on not too much resistnence on my favorite elliptical. I can't avoid The Stairs at least twice a day; however, I've been using the railing to ease things up a bit. While I've really noticed that my knee pain has eased up as the week of inactivity I feel like the rest of me is rusting inside. I also miss the extra calories that exersice affords me. Trying to keep my caloric intake under 1300 is a real pain in the ass.
I'm exercising tonight, damnit
-jafg
278.2 lbs
*Warning: Cranky JAFG Ahead*
I'm really not sure what to think. Since this little bloggin space's inception, I've not been this low on the scale.
I'm freakin happy! BUT...I have this overwhelming need to walk around and whisper I've lost 18 lbs because if I say it too loud, it might jinx it or something. Like when people whisper *cancer* or *prison*.
So yeah, I've lost 18 lbs. It's not a fluke like a 3 lbs fluctuation could be. It's 18 solid lbs. If someone asks me how I'm doing it I get to tell them "I'm doing it the old fashioned way: Healthy Eating and Exercise". No one wants to hear that, but it's the truth. Now, IF there were some magic way to do this while being able to eat whatever whenever I wanted, and I didn't have to exercise, then, well, I bet I'd be doing that instead.
My life's been very boring as of late. I have no funny stories to share or even any to pull from in the right recent past. I'm watching what I do for food religiously and tracking it all on myfitnesspal. I'm weighing myself every morning and, this week, have just been sitting on my couch watching tv or checking FB at night.
I love routine and I hate it too! Right now, I'm totally in an I-hate-it phase. I'm in a rut/funk/ditch/somethin and I need a change. I've really had to be a grown-up at work which, translated, means I'm not doing anything fun. I need to blow off some steam. I had plans to visit BFF and Her Hubbie this weekend, but had to cancel that. Grr. I've been disconnected from SAG and BB because everyone is just busy with l-i-f-e right now.
On a good note, I am going to Beach Town the first week of June. I'll be there for work, but I'm bringing BFF (it'll just be her and me) and we're staying in a fantab hotel ON the beach. Even when I lived there, I never stayed ON the beach. Well, there was that one Halloween weekend and then that random night one summer, but you know what I mean. I'm really looking forward to that!
I've strained my knee from pushing too hard through HHH class and bouncing around and all that. You know how walking down the stairs is usually the easiest thing in the world? Yeah. Not for me. Not right now. I hate this.
Turns out all those crunching sounds that I've heard in my knee for years has been what they call runner's knee. Commonplace among runners and overweight people. Well, I'm not in the runner category in case you didn't know. Actually, while I've had this mild, unchecked version of this pain in my knee for at least two years back that I can remember, since I started exercising in like 0-to-60 mode I've had a serious flare-up.
It's treatable with stretches and "quad stengthening" and a brace and ice and Motrin which is fantastic (seriously-it's a mostly free treatment plan). I also will actually have to bounce LESS in HHH class and focus on not too much resistnence on my favorite elliptical. I can't avoid The Stairs at least twice a day; however, I've been using the railing to ease things up a bit. While I've really noticed that my knee pain has eased up as the week of inactivity I feel like the rest of me is rusting inside. I also miss the extra calories that exersice affords me. Trying to keep my caloric intake under 1300 is a real pain in the ass.
I'm exercising tonight, damnit
-jafg
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
It Is What It Is
05/11/10
283.2 lbs
I've known this week was coming all year. I fly tomorrow. I hate flying. Not the flying so much, but the squishing into airplane seats. Fortunately, I'll be on a plane for 50 minutes and then on a plane for 2.5 hours. There's a bit of a break in between. Not much of one, but still.
I really wanted to be under 280 lbs for this trip and thought that since I'd been working out for over a month it was a possibility that it may happen. I've secretly felt like a failure every time I've stepped on the scale this past week because it didn't seem like it was going to happen. At least after Friday, the trip'll be behind me and all I have to focus on is a healthy diet and exercise.
So, this weekend I decided I wanted BBQ. Badly. So I pile Moms in the car and we head out for this BBQ place. That's when the crazy insanity ensued.
When I dine out, I always request a table. I've been in the habit of asking for a table for quite some time now. It's kinda weird, I used to always ask for a booth. The idea of sitting at a table in the center of the aisle always bugged me. Made me feel like a spotlight was on me and my food. Then I hit adulthood and could sit in the bars. Well sometime after that I realized that booths were no longer really comfortable. This, in case you haven't guessed, is because my girth had grown. That's right, there wasn't enough space between me and the table.
At first this was a slow realization. I'd be sitting with friends and think that the table was farther away from one side than the other and somehow I'd always sat on the small side. I'm a lefty which predetermines where I sit (most of the time). I thought perhaps restaurants thought leftys were skinnier and needed less space.
Then, I tried the seat swap. You'll never guess what happened. I was WRONG. One side of the booth was not smaller than the other! Well, once that happened, I then was forced with the realization that it was me that was bigger than the seat space. Great.
Of course, this picture is talking about the grown-up who goes back to elementary school, but you get the idea.
Since then, I've overcome my spotlight feeling (and learned to love it really) at a table and always know to specify prior to seating. Of course, ocassionally, I get ribbed by my friends..."what's up high maintenance?"...to which I give a hearty gafaw and move on with my life because, hey, it's really kinda true anyway.
In the not so distant past, on a night out with BB and SAG, I even tried to sit in a booth. I actually had to ask the girls to move to a nearby table because it just didn't work for me. I worked hard to not be embarrased. I could escape it because these are my workout buddies so they know I'm trying. It was still a little mortifying but the girls handled it like champs not giving one peep of snarkiness.
Well, this brings us back to Saturday. Moms and I get to the BBQ place and we can either instantly be sat at a booth or wait 20 minutes for a table. I spy one outside, a table that is, and decide to sit out there. The day is nice enough and the sun isn't going to be in our eyes. Well, I get out there and realize that the table is cemented to the wall. And to add to that, this is an end table so there's no possibility of moving the chairs to adjust the space. Moms sits down. It's kinda tight because the very skinny people at the table next to us are pushed back and talking. Well, that's taken care of with a simple "excuse me" and we're back to me. I'm staring at this seat. This very small crevice of a space they're calling a seat.
I squeeze myself into the space and I've got like a roll and a half poking over the table. I feel humiliated. It's almost to the point that I begin to feel punished. I know no one is looking at me but I felt like they were. All stress-inducing feelings are bubbling up so fast I know my face is turning red. Or maybe it was the fact that my circulation was being cut off at the waist. Either way, it's evident on my face that I'm an unhappy girl.
Moms quietly asks, "do you want to leave?" to which I can't reply "Yes" fast enough. There'd be no way I could eat anything served to me at this place.
Poor Moms. It's like when she tried to teach me how to drive a Standard. There was never so much cursing and swearing and yelling and spitting-ok, maybe there wasn't any spitting-in a car since that fateful Sunday afternoon oh so many years ago. She took it like a champ. It wasn't directed at her, it was just all those irrational feelings gushing out like some nasty infection.
Well, after driving her around half of Smaller Southern City, we wind up at another restaurant with excellent chicken and ribs. We valet the car (I wasn't kidding on the high maintenance part) and as soon as we're greeted I lay down the table law. With a smile on my face of course.
Moms and I sit down, I order a martini and she orders her glass of wine. The world is right again.
And then there's tomorrow on a plane.
Is 6:30am too early to drink?
-jafg
283.2 lbs
I've known this week was coming all year. I fly tomorrow. I hate flying. Not the flying so much, but the squishing into airplane seats. Fortunately, I'll be on a plane for 50 minutes and then on a plane for 2.5 hours. There's a bit of a break in between. Not much of one, but still.
I really wanted to be under 280 lbs for this trip and thought that since I'd been working out for over a month it was a possibility that it may happen. I've secretly felt like a failure every time I've stepped on the scale this past week because it didn't seem like it was going to happen. At least after Friday, the trip'll be behind me and all I have to focus on is a healthy diet and exercise.
So, this weekend I decided I wanted BBQ. Badly. So I pile Moms in the car and we head out for this BBQ place. That's when the crazy insanity ensued.
When I dine out, I always request a table. I've been in the habit of asking for a table for quite some time now. It's kinda weird, I used to always ask for a booth. The idea of sitting at a table in the center of the aisle always bugged me. Made me feel like a spotlight was on me and my food. Then I hit adulthood and could sit in the bars. Well sometime after that I realized that booths were no longer really comfortable. This, in case you haven't guessed, is because my girth had grown. That's right, there wasn't enough space between me and the table.
At first this was a slow realization. I'd be sitting with friends and think that the table was farther away from one side than the other and somehow I'd always sat on the small side. I'm a lefty which predetermines where I sit (most of the time). I thought perhaps restaurants thought leftys were skinnier and needed less space.
Then, I tried the seat swap. You'll never guess what happened. I was WRONG. One side of the booth was not smaller than the other! Well, once that happened, I then was forced with the realization that it was me that was bigger than the seat space. Great.
image totally pirated from imdb.com (<==love that site)
Of course, this picture is talking about the grown-up who goes back to elementary school, but you get the idea.
Since then, I've overcome my spotlight feeling (and learned to love it really) at a table and always know to specify prior to seating. Of course, ocassionally, I get ribbed by my friends..."what's up high maintenance?"...to which I give a hearty gafaw and move on with my life because, hey, it's really kinda true anyway.
In the not so distant past, on a night out with BB and SAG, I even tried to sit in a booth. I actually had to ask the girls to move to a nearby table because it just didn't work for me. I worked hard to not be embarrased. I could escape it because these are my workout buddies so they know I'm trying. It was still a little mortifying but the girls handled it like champs not giving one peep of snarkiness.
Well, this brings us back to Saturday. Moms and I get to the BBQ place and we can either instantly be sat at a booth or wait 20 minutes for a table. I spy one outside, a table that is, and decide to sit out there. The day is nice enough and the sun isn't going to be in our eyes. Well, I get out there and realize that the table is cemented to the wall. And to add to that, this is an end table so there's no possibility of moving the chairs to adjust the space. Moms sits down. It's kinda tight because the very skinny people at the table next to us are pushed back and talking. Well, that's taken care of with a simple "excuse me" and we're back to me. I'm staring at this seat. This very small crevice of a space they're calling a seat.
I squeeze myself into the space and I've got like a roll and a half poking over the table. I feel humiliated. It's almost to the point that I begin to feel punished. I know no one is looking at me but I felt like they were. All stress-inducing feelings are bubbling up so fast I know my face is turning red. Or maybe it was the fact that my circulation was being cut off at the waist. Either way, it's evident on my face that I'm an unhappy girl.
Moms quietly asks, "do you want to leave?" to which I can't reply "Yes" fast enough. There'd be no way I could eat anything served to me at this place.
Poor Moms. It's like when she tried to teach me how to drive a Standard. There was never so much cursing and swearing and yelling and spitting-ok, maybe there wasn't any spitting-in a car since that fateful Sunday afternoon oh so many years ago. She took it like a champ. It wasn't directed at her, it was just all those irrational feelings gushing out like some nasty infection.
Well, after driving her around half of Smaller Southern City, we wind up at another restaurant with excellent chicken and ribs. We valet the car (I wasn't kidding on the high maintenance part) and as soon as we're greeted I lay down the table law. With a smile on my face of course.
Moms and I sit down, I order a martini and she orders her glass of wine. The world is right again.
And then there's tomorrow on a plane.
Is 6:30am too early to drink?
-jafg
Monday, May 10, 2010
I Heart You, Mom!
05/10/10
283.4 lbs
Over the weekend Scale told me I was at 286.2 lbs. WHAT. THE. HELL. There's a whole mental saga that played out over the next two days but the end of the story is, I kicked my own ass, stopped feeling sorry for myself, and have changed my thinking to "every workout is last chance workout".
So, Mom's day was G-R-R-R-ATE (I'm using phonix, friends). Moms and I had sushi for dinner, botanical gardens for a day trip, an awesome brunch compliments of Chez JAFG, and I treated my mom to a morning workout. I was very excited about this last one. She's my cheerleader about losing weight and getting healthy and wants to do the same thing. It was really exciting to share this with her. Actually, I'm surprised by how happy it made me to have her participate in this part of my life.
My mom's a bigger woman like myself. We're built completely different; She's a pear, I'm an apple. I've got two inches on her 5'4" self. I'm "olive-complected", she's "fair-skinned". We have the same laugh and a lot of the same subconscious mannerisms and as soon as I realize that we're doing something alike at the same time I can't help but smile to myself. I get annoyed and amused at the same time.
Referring back to this weekend, I gained weight. Scale told me so two days in a row. I did A LOT of dining out with Moms and did no working out Friday or Saturday. As a matter of fact, I did nothing really, but sleep and eat on Saturday. More on that some other time.
Sunday morning, I wake up and decide to have coffee ready for Moms. When she woke up, I asked her to workout. She was totally down with trying the recumbent bike at Concierge Gym. So, we changed into workout gear and headed out.
She's a very young 53 years of age. She's got serious left knee problems (to the point that she takes The Stairs one step at a time), was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia in 2002 and now has arthritis starting in. All of this with serious allergic asthma. So this working out thing is a big deal.
She's talked with some physical therapists who have told her to get her knee moving with NO impact (thus the recumbent bike) to get the joint lubrication forming/flowing. She's supposed to take it easy on the walking front. We got her on a bike for 15 minutes at level 1. Woohoo!
She also did some resistance work on the Circuit machines with her arms. She was sore this morning, but we got out there again. Go Moms! We've got to take it easy because of all the challenges she has health-wise. I want to make sure she's not doing something that will ultimately exacerbate anything and make the situation worse. This got me thinking.
So, I was reading my blogroll came across 282.5 which I hadn't read in quite some time (Sorry Jo, and congrats on your freakin fantabulous progress!) and found a reference to a "real age" test. This one was a free service from http://www.realage.com/. I've been wanting to take one and so I used 20 minutes of my day and answered the questions honestly. It was great being able to tell it how much I exercise on a weekly basis. And then I got my results.
Actually, I'm pretty stoked about the fact I made it in under 40. I figured it would be like my first Wii age. 75. Yeah. Nice.
What got me is that the thing told me my workouts are too intense. I couldn't believe it when I read it. According to this lengthy assessment, my joint pain I've been experiencing isn't just because I've never moved so much in my life, it's because I'm pushing myself too hard. I started to connect the proverbial dots between Moms and me and I realized that, just like I don't want her pushing herself too much, I, too, shouldn't want me to push myself too much. I'm really relieved which is also surprising. I want to keep a level of intensity that will keep the fat burning happening, but I want my knees to feel better, too.
I think I've been trying to show all the skinny kids in my classes and gym (including SAG and BB) that I can keep up with the rest of them. That just because I'm fat doesn't mean that I can't do what they can. I don't think it's been intentional, I think it's been subconsciously happening.
Like the way Moms and I both get sassy with one hand on our hips. And then quickly move our hands when we realize what we're doing. At the same time. It's annoying. And funny.
I HEART YOU, MOM!
-jafg
283.4 lbs
Over the weekend Scale told me I was at 286.2 lbs. WHAT. THE. HELL. There's a whole mental saga that played out over the next two days but the end of the story is, I kicked my own ass, stopped feeling sorry for myself, and have changed my thinking to "every workout is last chance workout".
So, Mom's day was G-R-R-R-ATE (I'm using phonix, friends). Moms and I had sushi for dinner, botanical gardens for a day trip, an awesome brunch compliments of Chez JAFG, and I treated my mom to a morning workout. I was very excited about this last one. She's my cheerleader about losing weight and getting healthy and wants to do the same thing. It was really exciting to share this with her. Actually, I'm surprised by how happy it made me to have her participate in this part of my life.
My mom's a bigger woman like myself. We're built completely different; She's a pear, I'm an apple. I've got two inches on her 5'4" self. I'm "olive-complected", she's "fair-skinned". We have the same laugh and a lot of the same subconscious mannerisms and as soon as I realize that we're doing something alike at the same time I can't help but smile to myself. I get annoyed and amused at the same time.
Referring back to this weekend, I gained weight. Scale told me so two days in a row. I did A LOT of dining out with Moms and did no working out Friday or Saturday. As a matter of fact, I did nothing really, but sleep and eat on Saturday. More on that some other time.
Sunday morning, I wake up and decide to have coffee ready for Moms. When she woke up, I asked her to workout. She was totally down with trying the recumbent bike at Concierge Gym. So, we changed into workout gear and headed out.
She's a very young 53 years of age. She's got serious left knee problems (to the point that she takes The Stairs one step at a time), was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia in 2002 and now has arthritis starting in. All of this with serious allergic asthma. So this working out thing is a big deal.
She's talked with some physical therapists who have told her to get her knee moving with NO impact (thus the recumbent bike) to get the joint lubrication forming/flowing. She's supposed to take it easy on the walking front. We got her on a bike for 15 minutes at level 1. Woohoo!
She also did some resistance work on the Circuit machines with her arms. She was sore this morning, but we got out there again. Go Moms! We've got to take it easy because of all the challenges she has health-wise. I want to make sure she's not doing something that will ultimately exacerbate anything and make the situation worse. This got me thinking.
So, I was reading my blogroll came across 282.5 which I hadn't read in quite some time (Sorry Jo, and congrats on your freakin fantabulous progress!) and found a reference to a "real age" test. This one was a free service from http://www.realage.com/. I've been wanting to take one and so I used 20 minutes of my day and answered the questions honestly. It was great being able to tell it how much I exercise on a weekly basis. And then I got my results.
What got me is that the thing told me my workouts are too intense. I couldn't believe it when I read it. According to this lengthy assessment, my joint pain I've been experiencing isn't just because I've never moved so much in my life, it's because I'm pushing myself too hard. I started to connect the proverbial dots between Moms and me and I realized that, just like I don't want her pushing herself too much, I, too, shouldn't want me to push myself too much. I'm really relieved which is also surprising. I want to keep a level of intensity that will keep the fat burning happening, but I want my knees to feel better, too.
I think I've been trying to show all the skinny kids in my classes and gym (including SAG and BB) that I can keep up with the rest of them. That just because I'm fat doesn't mean that I can't do what they can. I don't think it's been intentional, I think it's been subconsciously happening.
Like the way Moms and I both get sassy with one hand on our hips. And then quickly move our hands when we realize what we're doing. At the same time. It's annoying. And funny.
I HEART YOU, MOM!
-jafg
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
LOST: 10 lbs. If you find it, please discard.
04/21/10
286.0 lbs
I held my breath and got on the scale twice this morning.
I've lost 10 lbs since picking up this whole exercise thing! It's been a lot slower than I would have liked. On March 23 (and even before I started blogging again to be honest) I had hit 296.+ lbs. That's horrible. I don't ever want to have to say that or think that or write that again. Ever.
It's been a month. A month of walking up hills, facing fears, working out with friends, hating those friends, loving them again, trying to watch my food intake, really watching my food intake, getting up at ungodly hours to exercise in the mornings, exercising at night, taking mini-walk breaks at lunch, buying new foreign things, joining a gym, and finally, me actually making me do all these things.
I'm loving the morning time even though I despise actually having to wake up to expeirence it. I am loving the feeling of wanting to wretch after a workout like I did last night on the circuit weight machines. I love that I've increased the weight resistance (almost doubled!) becuase where I began isn't enough anymore. I don't care about looking a fool in HHH class, although, it's still hard to walk in there even now. This past month has seen a lot of changes. W00T!
I'm going to write her a thank you note. I wonder how many calories are burned with old fashioned writing.
-jafg
286.0 lbs
I held my breath and got on the scale twice this morning.
I've lost 10 lbs since picking up this whole exercise thing! It's been a lot slower than I would have liked. On March 23 (and even before I started blogging again to be honest) I had hit 296.+ lbs. That's horrible. I don't ever want to have to say that or think that or write that again. Ever.
It's been a month. A month of walking up hills, facing fears, working out with friends, hating those friends, loving them again, trying to watch my food intake, really watching my food intake, getting up at ungodly hours to exercise in the mornings, exercising at night, taking mini-walk breaks at lunch, buying new foreign things, joining a gym, and finally, me actually making me do all these things.
This is a milestone. And I'm happy to celebrate it.
I'm loving the morning time even though I despise actually having to wake up to expeirence it. I am loving the feeling of wanting to wretch after a workout like I did last night on the circuit weight machines. I love that I've increased the weight resistance (almost doubled!) becuase where I began isn't enough anymore. I don't care about looking a fool in HHH class, although, it's still hard to walk in there even now. This past month has seen a lot of changes. W00T!I have had an accountability partner which has made a world of difference. I truly would not have gone this far if it hadn't been for that precious little BB and her upcoming Nuptials.
I'm going to write her a thank you note. I wonder how many calories are burned with old fashioned writing.
-jafg
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Preparing for BATTLE
04/20/10
288.2 lbs
Yesterday it said 287. That'll teach me not to blog when I lose poundage.
So I've been working out with SAG and BB for a few weeks now. It's pretty cool. I actually joined the Gym on Friday and worked out as a new member. With SAG. And I think she's kinda impressed that I can mostly push through the panting and the puffing when trying to keep up with her. She will run you ragg-ed. And she likes it. Like that Jillian chick from Biggest Loser. I am very un-fond of them both.
Workout clothes are not something that's been part of my wardrobe. Ever. I have been wearing either pajamas (pj pants with a big shirt) or a pair of khaki shorts that come down to my knees and polo shirts for workout sessions with the girls and the hip-hop hell class. Which, btw, I went to last night. I was literally stiff as a board when I got home. And that is after draining all the hot water in the abode on my aching back. Bless my heart.
Anyway. After about two weeks of the boobs bouncing in ways that no boobs should ever bounce, I went on a hunt for a sports bra. Actually, let's step this back one minute. The first thing I noticed after realizing that all the ladies and the few guys that are in HHH class are already damn fit was the fact that everyone wears the little anklet socks. I, on the other hand, have the cute little socks that come up over my ankles and almost up my calf. Now, before you get some nerd-like image of me in my knee length shorts and knee high socks, these are just the type that I would "slouch" a bit. I'm not trying to win fit fashion awards, but I don't want to look like an out-of-date idoit either. After all, I am a very fashionable girl otherwise. Over the weekend I bought some just-below-the-ankle socks. I felt very happy about it. Fashionable even. One less thing that separates me from the other fit fashionistas in my HHH class.
Ok. Back to the boobs. I've been eyeing this bathing suit with underwire on Just My Size and decided to search for sports bras and other work out gears. I found some great bras on this site (even thogh the regular everyday bras don't do much for me) and they were running a buy two get one free deal. The bathing suit was on sale too. Being the frugal shopper that I am, I went ahead and made the buy. I got them in the mail yesterday (delivered to work) and immediately went to the bathroom to try them on. I hate, hate, hate the bathing suit. I heart, heart, heart my sports bras. I got two Champion bras (same model different colors...I'm original like that) and one Glamorize bra with a faux-chami built in.
These are not attractive items of clothing. These are not figure-flattering-curve-accentuating things. These are pieces of armour one puts on when preparing to do battle with HHH class. I had a whole new level confidence walking into class last night. My Bras and Socks were giving me super powers and a sense of invinsability. That coupled with the fact that I found a spot where there is no mirror on the wall made me feel AWESOME. All I could think about was jumping up and down and moving side to side while trying to shake my ass the way the instructor does. I was looking forward to it. While my boobs didn't budge, other parts of me sure did. Good Lord. Do they make a sports bra for a stomach??
Oh. And I got a damn blister on my ankle.
-jafg
288.2 lbs
Yesterday it said 287. That'll teach me not to blog when I lose poundage.
So I've been working out with SAG and BB for a few weeks now. It's pretty cool. I actually joined the Gym on Friday and worked out as a new member. With SAG. And I think she's kinda impressed that I can mostly push through the panting and the puffing when trying to keep up with her. She will run you ragg-ed. And she likes it. Like that Jillian chick from Biggest Loser. I am very un-fond of them both.
Workout clothes are not something that's been part of my wardrobe. Ever. I have been wearing either pajamas (pj pants with a big shirt) or a pair of khaki shorts that come down to my knees and polo shirts for workout sessions with the girls and the hip-hop hell class. Which, btw, I went to last night. I was literally stiff as a board when I got home. And that is after draining all the hot water in the abode on my aching back. Bless my heart.
Anyway. After about two weeks of the boobs bouncing in ways that no boobs should ever bounce, I went on a hunt for a sports bra. Actually, let's step this back one minute. The first thing I noticed after realizing that all the ladies and the few guys that are in HHH class are already damn fit was the fact that everyone wears the little anklet socks. I, on the other hand, have the cute little socks that come up over my ankles and almost up my calf. Now, before you get some nerd-like image of me in my knee length shorts and knee high socks, these are just the type that I would "slouch" a bit. I'm not trying to win fit fashion awards, but I don't want to look like an out-of-date idoit either. After all, I am a very fashionable girl otherwise. Over the weekend I bought some just-below-the-ankle socks. I felt very happy about it. Fashionable even. One less thing that separates me from the other fit fashionistas in my HHH class.
Ok. Back to the boobs. I've been eyeing this bathing suit with underwire on Just My Size and decided to search for sports bras and other work out gears. I found some great bras on this site (even thogh the regular everyday bras don't do much for me) and they were running a buy two get one free deal. The bathing suit was on sale too. Being the frugal shopper that I am, I went ahead and made the buy. I got them in the mail yesterday (delivered to work) and immediately went to the bathroom to try them on. I hate, hate, hate the bathing suit. I heart, heart, heart my sports bras. I got two Champion bras (same model different colors...I'm original like that) and one Glamorize bra with a faux-chami built in.
These are not attractive items of clothing. These are not figure-flattering-curve-accentuating things. These are pieces of armour one puts on when preparing to do battle with HHH class. I had a whole new level confidence walking into class last night. My Bras and Socks were giving me super powers and a sense of invinsability. That coupled with the fact that I found a spot where there is no mirror on the wall made me feel AWESOME. All I could think about was jumping up and down and moving side to side while trying to shake my ass the way the instructor does. I was looking forward to it. While my boobs didn't budge, other parts of me sure did. Good Lord. Do they make a sports bra for a stomach??
Oh. And I got a damn blister on my ankle.
-jafg
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Welcome to Bizzaro World
04/13/10
288.0 lbs
Everybody pull out your best Wayne's World flashback routine. If you're too young to get that reference, well, I don't like you anymore.
Think back with me to July 2009. Back to my very first post. Firstly, I see that my weight is like 287.6 lbs. I could be dissapointed, but I'll look at it as "Wow, I've managed to balance my weight for almost a year." I was also smoking then. This is something I only do when partaking of adult beverages. I'm pretty damn proud of that. Getting back to that post....
I mentioned then (and several times since) that I am sorely lacking in the motivation to exercise department. As a matter of fact, it wasn't until after my 5 month hiatus (4 months and 17 days to be precise and for which there is no good explanation) that I ever contemplated exercise at all. Like, actually doing it, I mean. I thought about it alot. Thinking doesn't burn calories in the quantity I need, however. I wish it did. I digress. Eating healthy isn't an issue, I enjoy healthy food. I just wanted that AHA moment to kick me in the ass to get me moving. I figured it would be like a storybook revelation. The lightbulb and everything, ya know? It wasn't like that.
Actually, I went shopping and realized that I had to be a larger size. This is larger than what I was already wearing which was a really freakin large size. Then I realized that if I got any larger, I wasn't going to be able to shop even in the fat clothing stores. WHAT??!! Well, maybe that was my AHA moment. Most plus sized stores either start at a 12 or 14, which is stupid IMO (<==I threw this in for you young people==>) but whateves. Most of them end at a 28.
When the big clothes at a plus sized store are too small, there's something wrong. Like really. Go see a doctor. Not to be a Debbie-Downer, but something needs to change or you're gonna D-I-E die.
After the whole clothes incident, I decided it would be best to get on a scale again. Ew. I first stepped on it and realized I was 4 little pounds away from the big 3-0-0. Damn. That sucks. I began to really miss my blog. I wasn't quite ready for the reality of that, though.
I did some things with my income tax return (I gave the Gov't too much money again last year). I bought clothes and shoes, a lot of clothes and shoes, and decided to get a Wii. I wanted something that I could use to get moving in the privacy of my own home. I did some polling in my real life and found a great recommendation, She-Devil or Your Shape with Jenny McCarthy. It's pretty good really. I also got Sports Resort. It has table tennis and sword play. That game is awesome. Anyway, I did these things because I needed to do something.
I also had the good news of BB (Blushing Bride for any new readers out there) and Her Beau's engagement. Kismet really. She wants to workout, she's so young that I can't be intimidated by her. It's physically impossible. She's like a puppy. Who can be intimidated by a puppy?? I'm stoked because since Her Beau is in school at night and she's new to the area, we can spend a lot of time together with the workouts. It's also nice to see my friends in a sober state. But that's a different story.
I also picked up the proverbial pen again. In the very few weeks it's been since my return to the "big screen" I've began to freakishly pay attention to my food (measuring it in some cases and portioning it in other cases) and I'm working out. Sometimes even twice a day. And sometimes by myself. I'm also talking to my friends about all the working out and getting real encouragement from them. I look forward to sweating and getting my ass kicked by a workout.
But the weirdest thing of all...I found out I now like blue cheese.
What Bizzaro World have I dropped into here?!?
--jafg
288.0 lbs
Everybody pull out your best Wayne's World flashback routine. If you're too young to get that reference, well, I don't like you anymore.
Think back with me to July 2009. Back to my very first post. Firstly, I see that my weight is like 287.6 lbs. I could be dissapointed, but I'll look at it as "Wow, I've managed to balance my weight for almost a year." I was also smoking then. This is something I only do when partaking of adult beverages. I'm pretty damn proud of that. Getting back to that post....
I mentioned then (and several times since) that I am sorely lacking in the motivation to exercise department. As a matter of fact, it wasn't until after my 5 month hiatus (4 months and 17 days to be precise and for which there is no good explanation) that I ever contemplated exercise at all. Like, actually doing it, I mean. I thought about it alot. Thinking doesn't burn calories in the quantity I need, however. I wish it did. I digress. Eating healthy isn't an issue, I enjoy healthy food. I just wanted that AHA moment to kick me in the ass to get me moving. I figured it would be like a storybook revelation. The lightbulb and everything, ya know? It wasn't like that.
Actually, I went shopping and realized that I had to be a larger size. This is larger than what I was already wearing which was a really freakin large size. Then I realized that if I got any larger, I wasn't going to be able to shop even in the fat clothing stores. WHAT??!! Well, maybe that was my AHA moment. Most plus sized stores either start at a 12 or 14, which is stupid IMO (<==I threw this in for you young people==>) but whateves. Most of them end at a 28.
When the big clothes at a plus sized store are too small, there's something wrong. Like really. Go see a doctor. Not to be a Debbie-Downer, but something needs to change or you're gonna D-I-E die.
After the whole clothes incident, I decided it would be best to get on a scale again. Ew. I first stepped on it and realized I was 4 little pounds away from the big 3-0-0. Damn. That sucks. I began to really miss my blog. I wasn't quite ready for the reality of that, though.
I did some things with my income tax return (I gave the Gov't too much money again last year). I bought clothes and shoes, a lot of clothes and shoes, and decided to get a Wii. I wanted something that I could use to get moving in the privacy of my own home. I did some polling in my real life and found a great recommendation, She-Devil or Your Shape with Jenny McCarthy. It's pretty good really. I also got Sports Resort. It has table tennis and sword play. That game is awesome. Anyway, I did these things because I needed to do something.
I also had the good news of BB (Blushing Bride for any new readers out there) and Her Beau's engagement. Kismet really. She wants to workout, she's so young that I can't be intimidated by her. It's physically impossible. She's like a puppy. Who can be intimidated by a puppy?? I'm stoked because since Her Beau is in school at night and she's new to the area, we can spend a lot of time together with the workouts. It's also nice to see my friends in a sober state. But that's a different story.
I also picked up the proverbial pen again. In the very few weeks it's been since my return to the "big screen" I've began to freakishly pay attention to my food (measuring it in some cases and portioning it in other cases) and I'm working out. Sometimes even twice a day. And sometimes by myself. I'm also talking to my friends about all the working out and getting real encouragement from them. I look forward to sweating and getting my ass kicked by a workout.
But the weirdest thing of all...I found out I now like blue cheese.
What Bizzaro World have I dropped into here?!?
--jafg
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
One Pound
04/06/10
290.2 lbs
Attention Amanda! I lost myself a pound! WOOHOO! I am so freakin happy right now.
I really have been pissed about the whole not losing pounds thing. I've been discouraged. I've been downtrodden even. I've been whiney and wimpy. Well, maybe not wimpy. I haven't stopped excersicing. I haven't binged. Well, I did go see a movie with my mom over Easter weekend. I wanted to order two small popcorns and two waters. We ended up with one large popcorn and two medium cokes. It was cheaper that way. I don't have much more to say about that.
My point is I haven't given up. I have carried on like a little trooper. With a big tummy. A very big tummy. And I'm so not carrying babies in there. I have subjected myself to public display of working-out-ness among people like SG Duo and lots of other skinny chicks and muscley men. I have pushed myself so far out of my comfort zone that the only thing left to conquer is walking naked in a crowded shopping mall or, worse yet, be in a bathingsuit at the lake.
Let me tell you about last night. I totally went to that hiphop workout class. It's an hour long. O.M.G. Firstly, most of the people in there are thin. The teacher is a brick house dancing machine. People who are not in shape are still ten times fitter than I am. At least. So we start out by a little bit of marching and boucning to the music. My first session with She-Devil (see yesterday's post) has taught me to be wary of the whole marching thing. Actually, I think I'm developing a phobia. Marching is an omen of bad things to come.
Anyway, SAG, BB and I are all standing there nervously giggling, not because anything is funny, but because we're all nervous. I've never been to a workout class. E-V-E-R ever. I have no idea what this is about. I've watched workout videos before but these are things I recognize as like exercise or something. This is loud pop music remix to which we learn steps. And then we put the steps together. I have a new respect for Dancing with the Stars.
This stuff was crazy. Firstly, I have established many times over I'm particularly thick in the middle. I've got big legs and big ass, but it's a flat ass and my legs are pretty damn solid. What I have a whole lot of is that Jiggle in the Middle. Hip Hop requires a lot of shaking hips and wiggling ass and jumping and kicking and overall stuff that jiggling just isn't down with. In case you didn't know. OH Yeah, the room is like one big mirror. E-GAD. Add that to the mix of motion and you can imagine the horror movie I was about to watch. With me as the star. This was gonna be bad.
I have to admit, I almost walked out. I almost got to the point of giving up but all I could think of was the one pound that I wanted to lose. I pushed myself to give this a one whole class effort. I got a little frustrated, but only because I couldn't learn the steps fast enough. For the first 20 minutes I thought that it really wasn't that bad. Except for looking like a complete fool and not being able to move in a coordinated fashion, the workout itself was not that taxing. Then we move into phase 2.
Alright, things are moving faster, I somewhat have down everything from phase 1 and am really picking up the steps of this section. I'm also sweating a bit. Awesome! Ok, the end of this 15 minute section I'm really huffing and puffing. My shirt keeps pulling up in front and now I know why gym people like their clothes so fitted. With all the moving around, I'm constantly having to pull things down, adjust the shorts, fix the bra, all sorts of things. I go for water. The Girls are dying too. Sweat and Missteps. I feel a little better about it.
So we're called back from our water break and start building on what we've learned on phase 1-2. This one involves jumping and gyrating. Shit. NO ONE wants to see a fat person jump and gyrate. Especially the fat person. It's just not a pretty picture. I caught a few glimpses, and I can't get the images out of my mind.
I work it out with my own version of a jump and gyrate. I have never been more caucasian in my life. EVER. Another 10 minutes pass and we get another water break. My body is beginning to die on me. I'm starting to feel the shaking again. My body gets to a certain point in exercise and it begins to shake; like on the ellypticals and I feel like I could vibrate my way around the gym. I've been told it's because I'm pushing my muscles to the point of exhaustion which is good. I don't get it.
Well, we've got 15 minutes left and I really don't know how I'm gonna make it. We've got a 10 minute final session and then we move to our 5 minute cool down. I really don't remember the final 10 minutes. I know I didn't pass out. I know that I didn't fall down or break anything. The only thing I can figure is that I blocked it out due to the emotional scarring all that jiggle and gyrating had on my poor psychie. I seriously doubt that anything I did in that final 10 minutes looked like dance moves, but at least I kept moving and didn't just fall out right there on the floor. I wanted to. But I didn't. I wanted to wretch at the end of the night. I may have to equate marching with feelings of near wretching. They seem to go hand-in-hand.
That's not even talking about how I felt when I got home. I hate that class.
I'm going again tomorrow night.
-jafg
290.2 lbs
Attention Amanda! I lost myself a pound! WOOHOO! I am so freakin happy right now.
I really have been pissed about the whole not losing pounds thing. I've been discouraged. I've been downtrodden even. I've been whiney and wimpy. Well, maybe not wimpy. I haven't stopped excersicing. I haven't binged. Well, I did go see a movie with my mom over Easter weekend. I wanted to order two small popcorns and two waters. We ended up with one large popcorn and two medium cokes. It was cheaper that way. I don't have much more to say about that.
My point is I haven't given up. I have carried on like a little trooper. With a big tummy. A very big tummy. And I'm so not carrying babies in there. I have subjected myself to public display of working-out-ness among people like SG Duo and lots of other skinny chicks and muscley men. I have pushed myself so far out of my comfort zone that the only thing left to conquer is walking naked in a crowded shopping mall or, worse yet, be in a bathingsuit at the lake.
Let me tell you about last night. I totally went to that hiphop workout class. It's an hour long. O.M.G. Firstly, most of the people in there are thin. The teacher is a brick house dancing machine. People who are not in shape are still ten times fitter than I am. At least. So we start out by a little bit of marching and boucning to the music. My first session with She-Devil (see yesterday's post) has taught me to be wary of the whole marching thing. Actually, I think I'm developing a phobia. Marching is an omen of bad things to come.
Anyway, SAG, BB and I are all standing there nervously giggling, not because anything is funny, but because we're all nervous. I've never been to a workout class. E-V-E-R ever. I have no idea what this is about. I've watched workout videos before but these are things I recognize as like exercise or something. This is loud pop music remix to which we learn steps. And then we put the steps together. I have a new respect for Dancing with the Stars.
This stuff was crazy. Firstly, I have established many times over I'm particularly thick in the middle. I've got big legs and big ass, but it's a flat ass and my legs are pretty damn solid. What I have a whole lot of is that Jiggle in the Middle. Hip Hop requires a lot of shaking hips and wiggling ass and jumping and kicking and overall stuff that jiggling just isn't down with. In case you didn't know. OH Yeah, the room is like one big mirror. E-GAD. Add that to the mix of motion and you can imagine the horror movie I was about to watch. With me as the star. This was gonna be bad.
I have to admit, I almost walked out. I almost got to the point of giving up but all I could think of was the one pound that I wanted to lose. I pushed myself to give this a one whole class effort. I got a little frustrated, but only because I couldn't learn the steps fast enough. For the first 20 minutes I thought that it really wasn't that bad. Except for looking like a complete fool and not being able to move in a coordinated fashion, the workout itself was not that taxing. Then we move into phase 2.
Alright, things are moving faster, I somewhat have down everything from phase 1 and am really picking up the steps of this section. I'm also sweating a bit. Awesome! Ok, the end of this 15 minute section I'm really huffing and puffing. My shirt keeps pulling up in front and now I know why gym people like their clothes so fitted. With all the moving around, I'm constantly having to pull things down, adjust the shorts, fix the bra, all sorts of things. I go for water. The Girls are dying too. Sweat and Missteps. I feel a little better about it.
So we're called back from our water break and start building on what we've learned on phase 1-2. This one involves jumping and gyrating. Shit. NO ONE wants to see a fat person jump and gyrate. Especially the fat person. It's just not a pretty picture. I caught a few glimpses, and I can't get the images out of my mind.
I work it out with my own version of a jump and gyrate. I have never been more caucasian in my life. EVER. Another 10 minutes pass and we get another water break. My body is beginning to die on me. I'm starting to feel the shaking again. My body gets to a certain point in exercise and it begins to shake; like on the ellypticals and I feel like I could vibrate my way around the gym. I've been told it's because I'm pushing my muscles to the point of exhaustion which is good. I don't get it.
Well, we've got 15 minutes left and I really don't know how I'm gonna make it. We've got a 10 minute final session and then we move to our 5 minute cool down. I really don't remember the final 10 minutes. I know I didn't pass out. I know that I didn't fall down or break anything. The only thing I can figure is that I blocked it out due to the emotional scarring all that jiggle and gyrating had on my poor psychie. I seriously doubt that anything I did in that final 10 minutes looked like dance moves, but at least I kept moving and didn't just fall out right there on the floor. I wanted to. But I didn't. I wanted to wretch at the end of the night. I may have to equate marching with feelings of near wretching. They seem to go hand-in-hand.
That's not even talking about how I felt when I got home. I hate that class.
I'm going again tomorrow night.
-jafg
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