04/26/2011
285.2 lbs
Today is a so-so day.
I received some very valid constructive criticism today. It stung. Mostly because it's true.
So I have an established position in my career. I've been in my industry for 7 years which is nothing to balk at. (I hate ending sentences in prepositions, btw.) You all know that mostly I'm clever, charming, witty and fun. Well, I also have a brain and apparently I haven't been showing that feature off enough in the right circles.
You all know I travel. I go to conferences, conventions, meetings, what-have-yous on a very regular basis. I do have a good time, but I don't wimp out of my responsibilities either. I've always gone with the "Work Hard/Play Hard" mentality. It's worked for me up to now, because the same people I was playing hard with, also saw the work hard part. Well, when you're dealing with a "national level" or something bigger than your immediate daily reach, this isn't so much the case. Damn.
I plan on staying in this industry as long as I can. I really want to call it home. I have. I know things and speak as an expert at my home base level, but have what you might call stage fright everywhere else. My safetynet has been socializing. I know, taken on my own, my bright and shiney personality will win anyone over. HOWEVER. I have never felt comfortable to move past that. I feel like a big phony. Actually, I know I am.
I lack confidence.
Shocker, right? I've come a long way in life and have had to deal with many unpleasantries as most everyone who has or ever will come across this blog. I've climbed through, persevered and ended up mostly satisfied with life. The point, though, is that where I thought I had it all figured out was my career. I don't have marriage, I don't have kids, I have career. I'm happy with that choice. But, what happens when that falters? When I realize that I am not as solid in this aspect as I thought. How does it make any other area of my life which desperately needs attention (i.e.: or e.g.: I never know which is the appropriate one to use my weight) have a glimmer of a chance to be successful? There is a bigger picture here which needs to be addressed and, while I've known it for some time, I'm only just realizing it.
My mom came to visit for Easter. It was great to see her. It had been since Christmas. Long time, I know. She does not appreciate self-deprecating humor. So, the joke this weekend was, "I know I'm smart, but I'm kindof an Idiot". It's amazing how versatile that is. And how true. I have a brain and I don't always use it. I'm too old for that. Too established, too. My little criticism today pointed that out.
It could be worse, though.
Last week, I shat myself.
-jafg
Showing posts with label Observation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Observation. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Happy New Year. Again. (Yea Rabbits!)
02/03/2011
???.? lbs
I know what that number is but weight is a reality that I choose not to face today.
So today is the Chinese New Year. The Year of the Hare. I'm a hare. Well, really, if you read what the traits are for the hare, you'd laugh at that. Cause they don't match up. Except for the hyper-sexual-and-super-social part. And who thinks rabbits are super social, anyway??
It's been over a week since my last post. I hope you don't feel abandoned. I do feel a little guilty. I can't help it, though. Things have been busy. Firstly, the first month of the year is always MAD busy at work. Like every last minute is usually put to something wicked productive. Which leaves me little time to meander into JAFG land. Then, of course, there is LDL (which is not a reference to my cholesterol levels, btw). My glasses are definitely still steamy. Despite all this, I decided I'm making time this morning to post.
Those of you who have been around for the long haul know that I mostly just write about my experiences. I don't really philosophize except to examine my own lot in life. As the blog says, it's about my love/hate relationship with the world of weight. Sometimes, that deals with the fit of clothing, sometimes food, sometimes exercise, a lot of times smoking... But lately... Well, lately I've been thinking about sex.
I'm nervous. It will be 4 months since the last time (also first time) that I've spent face-to-face time with LDL, the next time I see him. Did that make sense? Granted we spent quality time together, but that was 4 months ago. That's a long time. Especially when you're talking about sex.
I can't spend more than 5 minutes of conversation time chatting with him without wanting to crawl through the phone and, well, you know. There's still plenty of heat, but where has this nervousness come from? My misgivings about talking to someone and then meeting them are of no consequence. We met in person through a mutual acquaintance. I can't say the guy isn't interested. HE approached ME. He also talks a pretty hot game. So, why am I so nervous?
Well, I talk a big game and there are certain aspects of the bedroom that I know I have no problem with, but, truth be told...I'm no expert. There are things that even in my 35 years of living I have yet to check off my 'to-do' list. There are things I'd like to do but feel that there are physical limitations. How does one approach this? How do I figure these things out without completely feeling like a fool in the heat of the moment. And then there are the things I like. Well, actually, I'm not so worried about that. I know how to give directions.
So back to the point. I'm nervous. It's sad to say this is the longest pseudo-relationship I've had in years. Well, since I've been in Small Southern City which has been, Lord....2 years this month! All this time and all this distance have really allowed some healthy anticipation to mix with a lot of unhealthy doubt. Shit.
I am a self-saboteur. I can recognize it (even if I haven't figured out how to completely overcome it). So now, I'm lost in my head and trying to only focus on the goal: Get Lucky. I keep telling myself that none of my imaginary hype will matter. When it's all said and done, and we're finally co-habitating the same space, I know we'll just go at it like rabbits.
But not jack rabbits, hopefully.
-jafg
???.? lbs
I know what that number is but weight is a reality that I choose not to face today.
So today is the Chinese New Year. The Year of the Hare. I'm a hare. Well, really, if you read what the traits are for the hare, you'd laugh at that. Cause they don't match up. Except for the hyper-sexual-and-super-social part. And who thinks rabbits are super social, anyway??
It's been over a week since my last post. I hope you don't feel abandoned. I do feel a little guilty. I can't help it, though. Things have been busy. Firstly, the first month of the year is always MAD busy at work. Like every last minute is usually put to something wicked productive. Which leaves me little time to meander into JAFG land. Then, of course, there is LDL (which is not a reference to my cholesterol levels, btw). My glasses are definitely still steamy. Despite all this, I decided I'm making time this morning to post.
Those of you who have been around for the long haul know that I mostly just write about my experiences. I don't really philosophize except to examine my own lot in life. As the blog says, it's about my love/hate relationship with the world of weight. Sometimes, that deals with the fit of clothing, sometimes food, sometimes exercise, a lot of times smoking... But lately... Well, lately I've been thinking about sex.
Yes. Sex.
I'm nervous. It will be 4 months since the last time (also first time) that I've spent face-to-face time with LDL, the next time I see him. Did that make sense? Granted we spent quality time together, but that was 4 months ago. That's a long time. Especially when you're talking about sex.
I can't spend more than 5 minutes of conversation time chatting with him without wanting to crawl through the phone and, well, you know. There's still plenty of heat, but where has this nervousness come from? My misgivings about talking to someone and then meeting them are of no consequence. We met in person through a mutual acquaintance. I can't say the guy isn't interested. HE approached ME. He also talks a pretty hot game. So, why am I so nervous?
Well, I talk a big game and there are certain aspects of the bedroom that I know I have no problem with, but, truth be told...I'm no expert. There are things that even in my 35 years of living I have yet to check off my 'to-do' list. There are things I'd like to do but feel that there are physical limitations. How does one approach this? How do I figure these things out without completely feeling like a fool in the heat of the moment. And then there are the things I like. Well, actually, I'm not so worried about that. I know how to give directions.
So back to the point. I'm nervous. It's sad to say this is the longest pseudo-relationship I've had in years. Well, since I've been in Small Southern City which has been, Lord....2 years this month! All this time and all this distance have really allowed some healthy anticipation to mix with a lot of unhealthy doubt. Shit.
I am a self-saboteur. I can recognize it (even if I haven't figured out how to completely overcome it). So now, I'm lost in my head and trying to only focus on the goal: Get Lucky. I keep telling myself that none of my imaginary hype will matter. When it's all said and done, and we're finally co-habitating the same space, I know we'll just go at it like rabbits.
But not jack rabbits, hopefully.
-jafg
Monday, January 24, 2011
Monday.
01/24/2011
281.8 lbs
I weighed myself yesterday. I figure it's still good today.
I can't believe that it's already the last week of January. It's hard to believe that we're 24 days into a new year. Where does the time go? It seems like we're so focused on all the little details of things that don't really matter that it all just disappears without even being noticed. That's deep for almost 5pm on Monday.
So BB (that's Blushing Bride) and I are supposed to go workout tonight. Basically that means I'm going to finally head back to Concierge Gym. I really don't want to right now. Really. I just want to go home and drink a glass of red wine andmaybe even have a cigarette snuggle with the Kitty.
It's been a hell of a day. Well, truth be known, it's been a hell of past several days. I'd love to go home and just eat mac n cheese. I may, yet. Jury's still out. I also wouldn't mind having a little chocolate afterwards. I have hot cocoa packages so that's a definite "do" tonight. Yum, Mac n Cheese and Hot Cocoa. And a blanket, my couch, and Chuck and Castle. Not all at the same time, though.
Yeah, I'm pretty much wiped right now. All I can think about is my couch and comfort food.
Of course.... It probably doesn't help that I took that half a xanax.
-jafg
281.8 lbs
I weighed myself yesterday. I figure it's still good today.
I can't believe that it's already the last week of January. It's hard to believe that we're 24 days into a new year. Where does the time go? It seems like we're so focused on all the little details of things that don't really matter that it all just disappears without even being noticed. That's deep for almost 5pm on Monday.
So BB (that's Blushing Bride) and I are supposed to go workout tonight. Basically that means I'm going to finally head back to Concierge Gym. I really don't want to right now. Really. I just want to go home and drink a glass of red wine and
It's been a hell of a day. Well, truth be known, it's been a hell of past several days. I'd love to go home and just eat mac n cheese. I may, yet. Jury's still out. I also wouldn't mind having a little chocolate afterwards. I have hot cocoa packages so that's a definite "do" tonight. Yum, Mac n Cheese and Hot Cocoa. And a blanket, my couch, and Chuck and Castle. Not all at the same time, though.
Yeah, I'm pretty much wiped right now. All I can think about is my couch and comfort food.
Of course.... It probably doesn't help that I took that half a xanax.
-jafg
Thursday, December 16, 2010
No Excuses
12/16/2010
2??.? lbs
I haven't weighed in the past few days. The last time, though, the figure had managed to creep back up to above the 280 mark...not by much but enough to make me very uncomfortable.
It's been THREE long, silent months since my last posting. I have no excuse for it, there's no backsliding, no deep, dark depression, just a lot of mis-managed time and real-life stuff.
I forget about how much I love this community while on my little breaks. And then, it comes flooding back when I open my inbox and see HUNDREDS of emails (ok, not all of them are legit) and realize just how much I count on this little corner of the world. And how much I affect others, even when I don't know it.
Faithful followers know I cling to my super secret identity and that anonymity is what JAFG is all about. There's this real sense of true honesty that comes from not being known. Well, there are a few of you out there that know me, really know me, and I got a quiet nudge from one of those friends today. If someone can take the time to let me know I'm missed, (which was also evident from all the comments on my last post) well, then, I can make the time to write. I can make the time to share.
When I write here, I become a more fulfilled (in addition to being a more accountable) me. I miss that. I miss you.
Also, when I stop posting, I lose the chance to get comments like these:
I really do heart you people.
-JAFG
2??.? lbs
I haven't weighed in the past few days. The last time, though, the figure had managed to creep back up to above the 280 mark...not by much but enough to make me very uncomfortable.
It's been THREE long, silent months since my last posting. I have no excuse for it, there's no backsliding, no deep, dark depression, just a lot of mis-managed time and real-life stuff.
I forget about how much I love this community while on my little breaks. And then, it comes flooding back when I open my inbox and see HUNDREDS of emails (ok, not all of them are legit) and realize just how much I count on this little corner of the world. And how much I affect others, even when I don't know it.
Faithful followers know I cling to my super secret identity and that anonymity is what JAFG is all about. There's this real sense of true honesty that comes from not being known. Well, there are a few of you out there that know me, really know me, and I got a quiet nudge from one of those friends today. If someone can take the time to let me know I'm missed, (which was also evident from all the comments on my last post) well, then, I can make the time to write. I can make the time to share.
When I write here, I become a more fulfilled (in addition to being a more accountable) me. I miss that. I miss you.
Also, when I stop posting, I lose the chance to get comments like these:
Results Not Typical Girl said...
If you don't come back soon regularly, I'm keeping all the dildos you loaned me.
-JAFG
Monday, August 16, 2010
An Unexpected Turn
04/16/10
276.2 lbs
Ok. For the record: Saturday morning said 273.6 lbs and Sunday afternoon said 273.0 lbs. To say this morning was a disappointment would be an understatement. I'm sure it had nothing to do with the box of macaroni and cheese I ate for dinner last night or the gallon or so of Royal Flush shots consumed over the weekend.
Anyway, I wanted to show it to you that it's been on a steady downward trend since I started back up in March. I've been living healthy, relatively speaking, for 5 months and have lost 20-23 lbs. It could have been more had I been really sticking to things. I mean really staying on task. However.
I have been looking at this whole thing as a change in my life. I'm living differently. I'm not on a diet. I am eating healthy food, not diet food (I don't buy into the whole "fat-free" marketing. I believe natural is better. Ingredients are more important than nutritional info to me. Having said that, I heart I Can't Believe It's Not Butter spray.) I am exercising. I'm trying to drink more water.
I also eat pizza and boxed macaroni 'n' cheese. I drink my fair share of adult beverages. I opt to stay in my PJs and watch movies all day instead of exercising. Basically, I'm living a normal life. I'm living a lifestyle that I can maintain and isn't unduly burdensome to me. Well, exercising is almost always annoying. But that aside, I know I've got a path set in front of me that works. For me.
I have no idea why my blog took this path today. Perhaps it's because I saw a 3 lb jump on the scale. Or maybe because I'm still hung over and a bit pensive. I dunno. I had a hell of a weekend and will be sharing as much of the details that I dare for your reading pleasure tomorrow.
I will also be in touch with all my VWBs and working out again this week.
Well. Starting tomorrow.
-jafg
276.2 lbs
Ok. For the record: Saturday morning said 273.6 lbs and Sunday afternoon said 273.0 lbs. To say this morning was a disappointment would be an understatement. I'm sure it had nothing to do with the box of macaroni and cheese I ate for dinner last night or the gallon or so of Royal Flush shots consumed over the weekend.
You know I have a little weight tracker at the bottom of my blog. I doubt it gets any facetime because, well, it's at the bottom of my blog. Esthetically speaking it's the best place for it; however, it really isn't when it comes to viewability.
I have been looking at this whole thing as a change in my life. I'm living differently. I'm not on a diet. I am eating healthy food, not diet food (I don't buy into the whole "fat-free" marketing. I believe natural is better. Ingredients are more important than nutritional info to me. Having said that, I heart I Can't Believe It's Not Butter spray.) I am exercising. I'm trying to drink more water.
I also eat pizza and boxed macaroni 'n' cheese. I drink my fair share of adult beverages. I opt to stay in my PJs and watch movies all day instead of exercising. Basically, I'm living a normal life. I'm living a lifestyle that I can maintain and isn't unduly burdensome to me. Well, exercising is almost always annoying. But that aside, I know I've got a path set in front of me that works. For me.
I have no idea why my blog took this path today. Perhaps it's because I saw a 3 lb jump on the scale. Or maybe because I'm still hung over and a bit pensive. I dunno. I had a hell of a weekend and will be sharing as much of the details that I dare for your reading pleasure tomorrow.
I will also be in touch with all my VWBs and working out again this week.
Well. Starting tomorrow.
-jafg
Friday, August 13, 2010
Failure Is Not An Option Except in Fashion
08/13/10
275.5 lbs
I had that coming. Without regaling you with all the gory details, I consumed about 2400 calories yesterday and had no extracurricular activities. Half of those were after 8:00pm. Shame on me.
Happy Friday The 13th, Y'all! Let the good times roll! The bachelorette party is this weekend. It kicks off tomorrow at 10:00am when we hit the road and goes until we come home Sunday afternoon. I may be a little concerned. SAG and I went out and bought party favors for the evening. Cheesey little things that will totally make us all the cliche of the evening. It is going to be SO much fun! I even bought some new clothes.
I went to three stores last night: Avenue, Steinmart and Kohl's. I struck out at Avenue. More times than not, I do. But, they've got cheap big-girl clothes and when they work, they really work. I tried a lot of clothes on and this is the first time I've done that since my 20 lb drop. I hit my closet up and have a few new things that work great, but I haven't gone shopping. This was a pleasant surprise. I can almost fit comfortably in 22/24 clothes. I was pushing a 28. Twenty. Eight. Sheesh.
I can get the clothes on, but they are still snug enough that they don't pass the sit-down test. When I try a top I always have to sit down. If it looks good when I'm sitting (refering to the jiggle in the middle) then the top is a keeper. If it doesn't and I'm not going to be standing all night, well, I don't buy it. Same goes with pants.
Anyway. I wanted to tell you all that I even tried on a dress. I haven't worn a dress since I was forced to wear one as MOH for BFF's wedding in 2005. That's also the lowest I can remember my weight in a long time being 265 lbs. And since it was a Bridesmaid dress, I don't know that it counts. Well, I really want to wear a dress for BB and Her Beau's wedding in early October. So I figured I better try one on and see what it looks like. It wasn't for the wedding, it was just for casual wear. It was like a tanktop with wide straps at the top. Just below the bust line it had a large elastic-gathered band (same material, just all gathered and elasticized) and then the material fell to just below my knee. It was a 22/24. A bit snug really. While everything did work, I needed a size larger for the elastic. The way it fell made me look 20 months pregnant. Ungood. I wasn't discouraged because I actually got a 22/24 on my body. Anyway, after an hour I walked out of Avenue empty-handed and headed to Steinmart.
Steinmart was so much more productive and was less time. I was also more willing to pick up smaller sized clothings this trip. It's usually hard to find anything there because they only go to 24 or 3x. I've gotten 3x tops but never found anything else of interest or that would work. Well...this time I found several tops and even a dress that had great wedding potential. It was a 24, but I figured if it worked but was just a little snug, I'd still get it anyway. I went to the dressing room with all my found treasures--we're talking a serious armful here--and the freakin place was under construction and therefore not available. Damnit. So, I reviewed everything I had and kept the dress and two tops. I'd try everyting on at home and take back what didn't work. One of the two tops is a sure thing, the other is going to the alterations today to see if they can do a quick change on it and the dress is a no go. Simply put, I didn't fill it out where I should and did where I shouldn't. Bygones.
Kohl's was good too. I found a shirt that flattered my bustline like nothing ever has before. It is made to fall perfectly in the back and front while it is a plunging neckline and hugs The Girls. I felt sexy in this top. The only thing is it doesn't pass the sit-down test. It will, but I have to fidgit around quite a bit to make it happen. Plus I've decided to wear a pair of black capris which are slightly too tight in the waist (will help prevent overeating and they look very flattering when I stand) so the combination may be too much. I bought it anyway. I want to wear this top SO bad this weekend. I just don't want to be one of those fat girls who wears skin-tight clothes and has rolls hanging out everywhere. You know which ones I'm talking about. I mean, I am all about loving yourself and being comfortable in your own skin, but there is such a thing as fashion sense. Come on, already! Look in a mirror and get a clue.
If I decide that the combination is a no-go, well, I can take solice in the fact that I will be able to wear it in the very near future. Very near. Like on my trip to Chicago in October. Woohoo!
As I look back over the past two weeks I realize a lot of what I've been reading and even in my own experience is about not meeting challenges either set forth by ourselves or others have given us. Failing. I've been saying there is no such thing as Failing, it's just modified planning.
After my little rant about fat girls and too-tight clothes...I stand corrected.
-jafg
275.5 lbs
I had that coming. Without regaling you with all the gory details, I consumed about 2400 calories yesterday and had no extracurricular activities. Half of those were after 8:00pm. Shame on me.
Happy Friday The 13th, Y'all! Let the good times roll! The bachelorette party is this weekend. It kicks off tomorrow at 10:00am when we hit the road and goes until we come home Sunday afternoon. I may be a little concerned. SAG and I went out and bought party favors for the evening. Cheesey little things that will totally make us all the cliche of the evening. It is going to be SO much fun! I even bought some new clothes.
I went to three stores last night: Avenue, Steinmart and Kohl's. I struck out at Avenue. More times than not, I do. But, they've got cheap big-girl clothes and when they work, they really work. I tried a lot of clothes on and this is the first time I've done that since my 20 lb drop. I hit my closet up and have a few new things that work great, but I haven't gone shopping. This was a pleasant surprise. I can almost fit comfortably in 22/24 clothes. I was pushing a 28. Twenty. Eight. Sheesh.
I can get the clothes on, but they are still snug enough that they don't pass the sit-down test. When I try a top I always have to sit down. If it looks good when I'm sitting (refering to the jiggle in the middle) then the top is a keeper. If it doesn't and I'm not going to be standing all night, well, I don't buy it. Same goes with pants.
Anyway. I wanted to tell you all that I even tried on a dress. I haven't worn a dress since I was forced to wear one as MOH for BFF's wedding in 2005. That's also the lowest I can remember my weight in a long time being 265 lbs. And since it was a Bridesmaid dress, I don't know that it counts. Well, I really want to wear a dress for BB and Her Beau's wedding in early October. So I figured I better try one on and see what it looks like. It wasn't for the wedding, it was just for casual wear. It was like a tanktop with wide straps at the top. Just below the bust line it had a large elastic-gathered band (same material, just all gathered and elasticized) and then the material fell to just below my knee. It was a 22/24. A bit snug really. While everything did work, I needed a size larger for the elastic. The way it fell made me look 20 months pregnant. Ungood. I wasn't discouraged because I actually got a 22/24 on my body. Anyway, after an hour I walked out of Avenue empty-handed and headed to Steinmart.
Steinmart was so much more productive and was less time. I was also more willing to pick up smaller sized clothings this trip. It's usually hard to find anything there because they only go to 24 or 3x. I've gotten 3x tops but never found anything else of interest or that would work. Well...this time I found several tops and even a dress that had great wedding potential. It was a 24, but I figured if it worked but was just a little snug, I'd still get it anyway. I went to the dressing room with all my found treasures--we're talking a serious armful here--and the freakin place was under construction and therefore not available. Damnit. So, I reviewed everything I had and kept the dress and two tops. I'd try everyting on at home and take back what didn't work. One of the two tops is a sure thing, the other is going to the alterations today to see if they can do a quick change on it and the dress is a no go. Simply put, I didn't fill it out where I should and did where I shouldn't. Bygones.
Kohl's was good too. I found a shirt that flattered my bustline like nothing ever has before. It is made to fall perfectly in the back and front while it is a plunging neckline and hugs The Girls. I felt sexy in this top. The only thing is it doesn't pass the sit-down test. It will, but I have to fidgit around quite a bit to make it happen. Plus I've decided to wear a pair of black capris which are slightly too tight in the waist (will help prevent overeating and they look very flattering when I stand) so the combination may be too much. I bought it anyway. I want to wear this top SO bad this weekend. I just don't want to be one of those fat girls who wears skin-tight clothes and has rolls hanging out everywhere. You know which ones I'm talking about. I mean, I am all about loving yourself and being comfortable in your own skin, but there is such a thing as fashion sense. Come on, already! Look in a mirror and get a clue.
If I decide that the combination is a no-go, well, I can take solice in the fact that I will be able to wear it in the very near future. Very near. Like on my trip to Chicago in October. Woohoo!
As I look back over the past two weeks I realize a lot of what I've been reading and even in my own experience is about not meeting challenges either set forth by ourselves or others have given us. Failing. I've been saying there is no such thing as Failing, it's just modified planning.
After my little rant about fat girls and too-tight clothes...I stand corrected.
-jafg
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Inspiration Station
08/12/10
274.8 lbs
Yippee!!
I'm not your typical girl when it comes to movies and tv shows. I love a good action flick and weirdo sci-fi/fantastical stuff. I'm not all D&D, but I loved LOTR. That's Lord of the Rings. I don't dress up as weird characters but I waited in line 2 hours for the opening day of X-Men X2. So what's my point, here. My point is Save the Cheerleader, Save the World.
That's a reference to a now cancelled NBC show called Heroes. The show died after it's fourth season-I stopped watching it about 2 episodes into that season btw-but the series' overall storyline is the subject for our discussion today: Save the Cheerleader, Save the World.
You know I have my VWBs. Well, today I was chitchatting with Roxie and she said a little something to me that just resonated in my brain like one of those Tibetan Singing Bowls. She said "You are such a good cheerleader". It got me thinking. Save the Cheerleader, Save the World.
We're all cheerleaders! We all need each other to encourage us on our good days (just take a look at my weight again!) and our bad days. We need to encourage as much as we need encouragement. Or Inspiration, if you will. Imagine if everyday there was someone telling someone else some words that helped them get though even 5 minutes of something hard. Could be emotional, could be physical, could be mental. I'm not just talking weight loss here, but it's definitely included. Imagine if YOU had someone telling you some Inspiring words everyday. Save the Cheerleader, Save the World.
Get it? You're the cheerleader. I'm the cheerleader. Everybody's the cheerleader. Think about a 5k or a marathon run. Think about those water stations; those very important lifeline-like water stations. Runners need those to continue on course. Now think of yourself as that virtual water station and everyone you meet today as a runner (whether in the healthy-weightloss-world or not). Give 'em a big dose of Inspiration. And maybe a little water'd be good, too. You never know which Cheerleader you may be saving by being a Cheerleader yourself.
-jafg
274.8 lbs
Yippee!!
I'm not your typical girl when it comes to movies and tv shows. I love a good action flick and weirdo sci-fi/fantastical stuff. I'm not all D&D, but I loved LOTR. That's Lord of the Rings. I don't dress up as weird characters but I waited in line 2 hours for the opening day of X-Men X2. So what's my point, here. My point is Save the Cheerleader, Save the World.
That's a reference to a now cancelled NBC show called Heroes. The show died after it's fourth season-I stopped watching it about 2 episodes into that season btw-but the series' overall storyline is the subject for our discussion today: Save the Cheerleader, Save the World.
You know I have my VWBs. Well, today I was chitchatting with Roxie and she said a little something to me that just resonated in my brain like one of those Tibetan Singing Bowls. She said "You are such a good cheerleader". It got me thinking. Save the Cheerleader, Save the World.
We're all cheerleaders! We all need each other to encourage us on our good days (just take a look at my weight again!) and our bad days. We need to encourage as much as we need encouragement. Or Inspiration, if you will. Imagine if everyday there was someone telling someone else some words that helped them get though even 5 minutes of something hard. Could be emotional, could be physical, could be mental. I'm not just talking weight loss here, but it's definitely included. Imagine if YOU had someone telling you some Inspiring words everyday. Save the Cheerleader, Save the World.
Get it? You're the cheerleader. I'm the cheerleader. Everybody's the cheerleader. Think about a 5k or a marathon run. Think about those water stations; those very important lifeline-like water stations. Runners need those to continue on course. Now think of yourself as that virtual water station and everyone you meet today as a runner (whether in the healthy-weightloss-world or not). Give 'em a big dose of Inspiration. And maybe a little water'd be good, too. You never know which Cheerleader you may be saving by being a Cheerleader yourself.Ra Ra Ree and Stuff!
-jafg
Monday, July 12, 2010
Tempus Fugit (That's Latin, Y'all)
07/12/10
???.? lbs
I actually had some scale phobias this morning. I will overcome tomorrow.
I've made a workout date with BB tonight. None of us have been back to HHH class since May. Actually, since I decided to start paying for the gym, I've pretty much stopped going. Bye-Bye $40 a month!
I do wish a lot of you folks were around in my REAL life. I'm drawing on the support of a Skinny Athletic Girl (SAG) who has a freakin slammin hot body and a Blushing Bride (BB) who is 22 and still has a baby face. This means she hasn't fully finished morphing into physical adulthood. Neither of which understand a weight struggle like I've got. Well, that's not to say that SAG doesn't work her ass off every night to look as hot as she does. And BB and Her Beau do yoga twice a week now. I have seen her change over the past few months. Her face has started thinning out and the adorable little baby cheeks are vanishing just a bit. [Sadface.]
I am beginning to feel the weight of everything I need to do all at once. That's a lot of weight. I want to see 150. I'm not pushing for these 140s and 130s goals I see with other people. I'm not ready for that yet. Hell, I'll be glad with a 165 on the scale. But shit. One Hundred Twelve Pounds To Lose. That's a lot of weight. And that's based on an out-of-date-weight.
I'm not whining or whimpering, I'm documenting. I could choose not to write today. Or even until I decide to jump back on board, (which technically I am doing tonight because of my workout date). And, in case you haven't figured it out, that's what happened between the end of October to the beginning of March. I simply tuned out.
Well, I'm not doing that this time. I don't care if there are a few "gray days" in my blog world, I'm making myself stay connected. If I don't, if I drop everything, then 6 months from now I'll just be starting over again. And I'll be no happier for it.
Hmm. I'm ending the day on a happy note for all of you. There's this girl who started about 7 months ago on her new healthy lifestyle. I'm sure you all know and love Julia @ Jewlia Goulia. Well, her Monday has greeted her with a 100.1 LB LOSS! Go congratulate her. She TOTALLY deserves it! She's my hero of the day. Tell her to go back and buy that dress, too.
???.? lbs
I actually had some scale phobias this morning. I will overcome tomorrow.
I've made a workout date with BB tonight. None of us have been back to HHH class since May. Actually, since I decided to start paying for the gym, I've pretty much stopped going. Bye-Bye $40 a month!
I do wish a lot of you folks were around in my REAL life. I'm drawing on the support of a Skinny Athletic Girl (SAG) who has a freakin slammin hot body and a Blushing Bride (BB) who is 22 and still has a baby face. This means she hasn't fully finished morphing into physical adulthood. Neither of which understand a weight struggle like I've got. Well, that's not to say that SAG doesn't work her ass off every night to look as hot as she does. And BB and Her Beau do yoga twice a week now. I have seen her change over the past few months. Her face has started thinning out and the adorable little baby cheeks are vanishing just a bit. [Sadface.]
I am beginning to feel the weight of everything I need to do all at once. That's a lot of weight. I want to see 150. I'm not pushing for these 140s and 130s goals I see with other people. I'm not ready for that yet. Hell, I'll be glad with a 165 on the scale. But shit. One Hundred Twelve Pounds To Lose. That's a lot of weight. And that's based on an out-of-date-weight.
I'm not whining or whimpering, I'm documenting. I could choose not to write today. Or even until I decide to jump back on board, (which technically I am doing tonight because of my workout date). And, in case you haven't figured it out, that's what happened between the end of October to the beginning of March. I simply tuned out.
Well, I'm not doing that this time. I don't care if there are a few "gray days" in my blog world, I'm making myself stay connected. If I don't, if I drop everything, then 6 months from now I'll just be starting over again. And I'll be no happier for it.
Hmm. I'm ending the day on a happy note for all of you. There's this girl who started about 7 months ago on her new healthy lifestyle. I'm sure you all know and love Julia @ Jewlia Goulia. Well, her Monday has greeted her with a 100.1 LB LOSS! Go congratulate her. She TOTALLY deserves it! She's my hero of the day. Tell her to go back and buy that dress, too.
So. That got me thinking.
What will seven months get you?
-jafg
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Today
06/29/10
277.0 lbs
I just played in the rain. I was out to my elbows in the run off from my balcony. I'm the top floor and I don't have much overhang. It was so much fun.
My balcony door is open and I'm just listening to the sound of the rain.
Today's a good day.
-jafg
277.0 lbs
I just played in the rain. I was out to my elbows in the run off from my balcony. I'm the top floor and I don't have much overhang. It was so much fun.
My balcony door is open and I'm just listening to the sound of the rain.
Today's a good day.
-jafg
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Twenty LBS Ago
06/22/10
276.6 lbs
I'm at peace with this today.
I was contemplating as I waited for the scale to reveal its verdict this morning. It was a quick revelation, really. I have this 275 number in my head that I keep saying over and over again like some meditative mantra. I was so focused on it in fact that I totally let another realization slip right by.
I have lost 20 lbs since March. 20 LBS!!!!! I am very happy right now. I just updated my weight tracker (from skinnyr.com at the bottom of this blog) and my trend line is steadily decreasing. Twenty lbs ago, I was 3 little lbs away from 300 lbs. Today, I'm lighter than I've been since 2005. Awesome!
So, yesterday was the Summer Solstice. The longest day of the year. I celebrated by sweating my ass off in Concierge Gym. (Yes, that is an indirect way of saying I didn't go to Yoga. Screw Yoga. At least for now). I was only able to get 20 minutes logged on the elliptical (it was too hot; I was having problems keeping my breathing controlled) but I also got in 30 hard minutes on the circuit machines. I pushed myself a little more on the thigh one (feeling a little "groin groan" today) and had some really good sets on the back pushing machine and it's partner. I don't know what they're called, but supposedly they work out the back muscles. They feel like a funky sit-up or crunch machine to me. I wasn't able to get to the arm workouts because my clothes were soaking wet. Seriously, I could almost wring my shirt out.
I'm considering some skimpier workout clothes. I fully understand now why everyone wears tiny little things and why most of the time they're skin tight. It's easier to work out. And cooler. I had rolled up my capri JMS (that's Just My Size) cotton workout bottoms and rolled my sleeves up of my two-sizes-too-big JMS Tee and tucked them into my fantab sports bra (Champion @ JMS.com). I really considered stripping my uppers to just said sports bra. Maybe not considered, but just serious wishful thinking.
I'm committed to @SuziStorm's Crunchy Crackhead Craziness and Gun Show. It involves doing crunches and push-ups which started on Sunday. Truth be known, I've not done either, yet. I don't do them ever. At all. So, my goal is to get a set in this week. Just one. I'm working up to it. I am really hoping tonight'll be the night. I don't think I'll be hitting the gym tonight in that heat, so I'll have no excuse but to participate in the mayhem. I don't have the best of lower backs, so I'll be placing a pillow just above my butt to lay on. I don't think that's cheating, is it? It doesn't matter, I'll be doing it anyway.
Ok, I'm signing off now.
Twenty LBS lighter.
-jafg
276.6 lbs
I'm at peace with this today.
I was contemplating as I waited for the scale to reveal its verdict this morning. It was a quick revelation, really. I have this 275 number in my head that I keep saying over and over again like some meditative mantra. I was so focused on it in fact that I totally let another realization slip right by.
I have lost 20 lbs since March. 20 LBS!!!!! I am very happy right now. I just updated my weight tracker (from skinnyr.com at the bottom of this blog) and my trend line is steadily decreasing. Twenty lbs ago, I was 3 little lbs away from 300 lbs. Today, I'm lighter than I've been since 2005. Awesome!
So, yesterday was the Summer Solstice. The longest day of the year. I celebrated by sweating my ass off in Concierge Gym. (Yes, that is an indirect way of saying I didn't go to Yoga. Screw Yoga. At least for now). I was only able to get 20 minutes logged on the elliptical (it was too hot; I was having problems keeping my breathing controlled) but I also got in 30 hard minutes on the circuit machines. I pushed myself a little more on the thigh one (feeling a little "groin groan" today) and had some really good sets on the back pushing machine and it's partner. I don't know what they're called, but supposedly they work out the back muscles. They feel like a funky sit-up or crunch machine to me. I wasn't able to get to the arm workouts because my clothes were soaking wet. Seriously, I could almost wring my shirt out.
I'm considering some skimpier workout clothes. I fully understand now why everyone wears tiny little things and why most of the time they're skin tight. It's easier to work out. And cooler. I had rolled up my capri JMS (that's Just My Size) cotton workout bottoms and rolled my sleeves up of my two-sizes-too-big JMS Tee and tucked them into my fantab sports bra (Champion @ JMS.com). I really considered stripping my uppers to just said sports bra. Maybe not considered, but just serious wishful thinking.
I'm committed to @SuziStorm's Crunchy Crackhead Craziness and Gun Show. It involves doing crunches and push-ups which started on Sunday. Truth be known, I've not done either, yet. I don't do them ever. At all. So, my goal is to get a set in this week. Just one. I'm working up to it. I am really hoping tonight'll be the night. I don't think I'll be hitting the gym tonight in that heat, so I'll have no excuse but to participate in the mayhem. I don't have the best of lower backs, so I'll be placing a pillow just above my butt to lay on. I don't think that's cheating, is it? It doesn't matter, I'll be doing it anyway.
Ok, I'm signing off now.
Twenty LBS lighter.
-jafg
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Add It Up
06/17/10
278.0 lbs
I feel a little better, but I'm hoping for more movement tomorrow.
So, I tried a different elliptical machine last night. There are so many kinds and each one seems to be different. This one was more like pedalling a bike than any other I've been on. I didn't like it AT ALL. I had to put it at the lowest level and it seemed to only work the top of my thighs (the quads, right?). My knee was very warm when I was done, too. Also, on all the other machines, I usually kill a mile in just under 15 minutes. I could only do a half a mile in just over 15 minutes. On the lowest level. What?!?
I met BB and 15YO at Concierge Gym last night. 15YO was running, like running, on the treadmill and BB was busy on the machine from hell. They met me there and had already been going for 7 minutes. After 20 minutes they both stopped and were waiting on me. Well, I had only been on for about 10 minutes and already thought I was gonna die. BB felt the same. She had originally planned on doing 30 minutes (me too) but the machine from hell got the best of her. In stead of going to the pool or working on the circuit trainers, both of them parked it by me and were just waiting. Nothing like a little pressure. I only made it another 5 minutes and then threw in the towel. Shame on me. Then we went to hang out at the pool.
I've been mildly concerned about the big weight change (from a 276.6 lbs reading to a 279.2 lbs reading ... huh?!). I have to be honest with myself (and, I guess, with you).
I totally snacked on Saturday night. And on Sunday night. And...yes, Monday night, too.
I've discovered sunkist fruit gummies. Damn they're good. I ate way too many packets (about 110 calories a pack I just found out. YIKES). I also bought little mini snicker icecream bars (90 calories a peice). I had one of them Sunday night and TWO of them Monday night. I may have had one Tuesday night, too. I'm not sure. It's all starting to blur together in a guilt-induced haze.
I did exercise Sunday, Monday and yesterday. I had unusual activity of laser tag and roller skating on Wednesday. Oh, which reminds me. We went for ice cream afterward. Damnit.
Now, I knew I was snacking when I snacked. I knew what I was buying when I was buying those mini snicker icecream bars. In my defence,though, you should all know how I am about a Snicker Bar. I mean, it's its own blog post label for goodness sake! I was pretty excited to see they came in the 90-calorie variety. And those sunkist fruit gummies are very small packs with only about 10 gummies in each. When you eat 4 packs (over the course of about 3 hours), well, that was a bit much. At least Sunday it was only 2. Packs that is. Which is 220 calories. Sheesh.
Honestly, I didn't think anything of the snacking (with the exception of eating TWO snicker icecream bars that one night) at the time it was happening. I was actually thinking that I was doing good believe it or not. I was comparing to when I used to really have at it. Icecream woulda been involved, but it woulda been like a pint Ben & Jerry's. All at one sitting. Not kidding. So, comparing my "now self" to my "then self", I thought I had really improved. The scale showed me I was wrong. I could have been wronger (fyi...that's not a word). I remembered to eat healthy the rest of the time. Breakfast, lunch, diner...all okay. Snacking...not so much. And it caught up with me.
My life in moderation hasn't been as moderate as I let myself believe it was. I don't feel bad about it, I just realize that all my decisions affect me, no matter what they may be.
Even the reduced calorie kind.
-jafg
278.0 lbs
I feel a little better, but I'm hoping for more movement tomorrow.
So, I tried a different elliptical machine last night. There are so many kinds and each one seems to be different. This one was more like pedalling a bike than any other I've been on. I didn't like it AT ALL. I had to put it at the lowest level and it seemed to only work the top of my thighs (the quads, right?). My knee was very warm when I was done, too. Also, on all the other machines, I usually kill a mile in just under 15 minutes. I could only do a half a mile in just over 15 minutes. On the lowest level. What?!?
I met BB and 15YO at Concierge Gym last night. 15YO was running, like running, on the treadmill and BB was busy on the machine from hell. They met me there and had already been going for 7 minutes. After 20 minutes they both stopped and were waiting on me. Well, I had only been on for about 10 minutes and already thought I was gonna die. BB felt the same. She had originally planned on doing 30 minutes (me too) but the machine from hell got the best of her. In stead of going to the pool or working on the circuit trainers, both of them parked it by me and were just waiting. Nothing like a little pressure. I only made it another 5 minutes and then threw in the towel. Shame on me. Then we went to hang out at the pool.
I've been mildly concerned about the big weight change (from a 276.6 lbs reading to a 279.2 lbs reading ... huh?!). I have to be honest with myself (and, I guess, with you).
I totally snacked on Saturday night. And on Sunday night. And...yes, Monday night, too.
I've discovered sunkist fruit gummies. Damn they're good. I ate way too many packets (about 110 calories a pack I just found out. YIKES). I also bought little mini snicker icecream bars (90 calories a peice). I had one of them Sunday night and TWO of them Monday night. I may have had one Tuesday night, too. I'm not sure. It's all starting to blur together in a guilt-induced haze.
I did exercise Sunday, Monday and yesterday. I had unusual activity of laser tag and roller skating on Wednesday. Oh, which reminds me. We went for ice cream afterward. Damnit.
Now, I knew I was snacking when I snacked. I knew what I was buying when I was buying those mini snicker icecream bars. In my defence,though, you should all know how I am about a Snicker Bar. I mean, it's its own blog post label for goodness sake! I was pretty excited to see they came in the 90-calorie variety. And those sunkist fruit gummies are very small packs with only about 10 gummies in each. When you eat 4 packs (over the course of about 3 hours), well, that was a bit much. At least Sunday it was only 2. Packs that is. Which is 220 calories. Sheesh.
Honestly, I didn't think anything of the snacking (with the exception of eating TWO snicker icecream bars that one night) at the time it was happening. I was actually thinking that I was doing good believe it or not. I was comparing to when I used to really have at it. Icecream woulda been involved, but it woulda been like a pint Ben & Jerry's. All at one sitting. Not kidding. So, comparing my "now self" to my "then self", I thought I had really improved. The scale showed me I was wrong. I could have been wronger (fyi...that's not a word). I remembered to eat healthy the rest of the time. Breakfast, lunch, diner...all okay. Snacking...not so much. And it caught up with me.
My life in moderation hasn't been as moderate as I let myself believe it was. I don't feel bad about it, I just realize that all my decisions affect me, no matter what they may be.
Even the reduced calorie kind.
-jafg
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Roller Derby, Anyone?
06/16/10
279.2 lbs
I'm still evaluating my recently past behavior. I am also going to the gym tonight.
I'm still a little high from all the twitter and bloggin love I've gotten over the past few days. I have grown to 53 followers! I always find it to be an exciting/humbling experience when a new follower sprouts up. I also do my best to follow you all and add you to my blogs I heart a lot list. (If you're not on there, please let me know!). I accidentally selected to follow myself one day--which apparently you can totally do--and now I don't want to unfollow cause I don't want to decrease my numbers. I heart you all! Love You Mean It!
While every comment and follower means the world to me, the love received over the picture posting was SO unexpected and encouraging! I'll tell you, I have a regular square-ish screen on my laptop and have a widescreen monitor on the desktop (which I use most of the time). I posted those pictures on the regular square-ish screen machine. I think, after seeing them on the widescreen, had I seen them on this machine first, I SO would not have posted them. EGAD. Widescreen makes a difference.
Bygones.
So, I played laser tag last night. And I went skating. Yeah, skating. Like old-school-orange-wheeled-fake-suede-horrible-shoelacey skating. I learned a few things. Firstly, skating rinks still smell like stinky feet and sweaty kids. Secondly, there is no such thing as a fat skater. I have the videos to prove it.
Don't get me wrong. There were some kids in there that still had a fair share of baby pudge going on. But I'm talking a lack of Big People. Not the parents sitting on the sidelines, but the folks out on the rink. Most of them were under the age of 10, btw. Then a good many of them were under the age of 15. There was some dude there that was totally sporting the scary 70's porn mustache and I never exactly saw him with a kid. I'm still a little concerned about that one. Anyway, point is NONE of them were fat.
So BB's little 15 year old brother came for a two week visit. Because of this, BB and Her Beau are trying to find "minor friendly" things to do. Last night, it was half price night at this game park. So, we piled in the car and headed for some laser tag. I've never played laser tag before. It involves a black light and 10 year old kids. I think next time I'll have a few drinks first. Of the Adult Beverage variety.
Well. We play 2 rather fast rounds of laser tag and decide that's enough. As we're walking out the notion hits me...How freakin fun would it be to roller skate again after like 20 years? (Holy. Shit. It HAS been 20 years. 8-/ ) We all head over--after a little convincing-- for the skate exchange where you give Them your shoes and They give you hideous skates. I'm still stoked anyway. We then sit down on the box benches (ohmawgaw, they still use those carpet covered box benches!) and begin to put on said hideous skates.
A new notion hits me. How freakin stupid is this idea, anyway??!!?
...Dear Lord.......Please Please Please don't let me die!...
I did survive. I stayed on the carpet area (which was a cookie monster blue) so I'd have a little more traction on the wheels of death. I actually made it almost completely around the rink floor once. I was clinging with all my might to the poor 15YO's arm. I bet he still has white marks where I was gripping so hard. Thankfully, though, I never fell. I also got one hell of a strength training workout for my legs. Believe me.
It wasn't until I sat down and took the hideous skates off that I had the revalation about the fat people and skating and how there wasn't a single one of them in there besides me. I was the biggest girl on the block, or in the rink, or whatever. I can't tell you why I realized this and I find it a little odd that I had the thought, to be honest. I can tell you, though, I didn't feel self conscious...not once.
I was too busy concentrating on not breaking my ass.
-jafg
279.2 lbs
I'm still evaluating my recently past behavior. I am also going to the gym tonight.
I'm still a little high from all the twitter and bloggin love I've gotten over the past few days. I have grown to 53 followers! I always find it to be an exciting/humbling experience when a new follower sprouts up. I also do my best to follow you all and add you to my blogs I heart a lot list. (If you're not on there, please let me know!). I accidentally selected to follow myself one day--which apparently you can totally do--and now I don't want to unfollow cause I don't want to decrease my numbers. I heart you all! Love You Mean It!
While every comment and follower means the world to me, the love received over the picture posting was SO unexpected and encouraging! I'll tell you, I have a regular square-ish screen on my laptop and have a widescreen monitor on the desktop (which I use most of the time). I posted those pictures on the regular square-ish screen machine. I think, after seeing them on the widescreen, had I seen them on this machine first, I SO would not have posted them. EGAD. Widescreen makes a difference.
Bygones.
Don't get me wrong. There were some kids in there that still had a fair share of baby pudge going on. But I'm talking a lack of Big People. Not the parents sitting on the sidelines, but the folks out on the rink. Most of them were under the age of 10, btw. Then a good many of them were under the age of 15. There was some dude there that was totally sporting the scary 70's porn mustache and I never exactly saw him with a kid. I'm still a little concerned about that one. Anyway, point is NONE of them were fat.
So BB's little 15 year old brother came for a two week visit. Because of this, BB and Her Beau are trying to find "minor friendly" things to do. Last night, it was half price night at this game park. So, we piled in the car and headed for some laser tag. I've never played laser tag before. It involves a black light and 10 year old kids. I think next time I'll have a few drinks first. Of the Adult Beverage variety.
Well. We play 2 rather fast rounds of laser tag and decide that's enough. As we're walking out the notion hits me...How freakin fun would it be to roller skate again after like 20 years? (Holy. Shit. It HAS been 20 years. 8-/ ) We all head over--after a little convincing-- for the skate exchange where you give Them your shoes and They give you hideous skates. I'm still stoked anyway. We then sit down on the box benches (ohmawgaw, they still use those carpet covered box benches!) and begin to put on said hideous skates.
A new notion hits me. How freakin stupid is this idea, anyway??!!?
...Dear Lord.......Please Please Please don't let me die!...
I did survive. I stayed on the carpet area (which was a cookie monster blue) so I'd have a little more traction on the wheels of death. I actually made it almost completely around the rink floor once. I was clinging with all my might to the poor 15YO's arm. I bet he still has white marks where I was gripping so hard. Thankfully, though, I never fell. I also got one hell of a strength training workout for my legs. Believe me.
It wasn't until I sat down and took the hideous skates off that I had the revalation about the fat people and skating and how there wasn't a single one of them in there besides me. I was the biggest girl on the block, or in the rink, or whatever. I can't tell you why I realized this and I find it a little odd that I had the thought, to be honest. I can tell you, though, I didn't feel self conscious...not once.
I was too busy concentrating on not breaking my ass.
-jafg
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
What Has Happened...
06/15/10
279.2 lbs
I'm not exactly sure what's happened here. I am exactly sure that I'm none too happy about it.
You should all know by now that I am an avid stalker of Jack Sh*t. I usually talk about him fondly in passing, but today I must dedicate my blog post to his blog post What Would Happen.... Before you read further, please take a moment to read his. It's not extremely wordy so it shouldn't take too long...
Read it already? Ok, you may move forward now.
Close to this time last year, after reading this post I'd be sitting in my chair right now with a serious case of the "What If"s. Today, though, I'm not!
I've committed, I mean really committed to this weightloss journey of mine. How do I know? I know because I make decisions weekly, daily, hourly, even minute-to-minute about my health and weightloss. Sometimes, I don't make the right choices, but I recognize them now, really recognize them, and I take the opportunity to right myself when I am wrong. I realized it isn't a race. There is no finish line.
I've transitioned from the "half-hearted swipe" to an honest effort. I may struggle with 6:00am, but I know it's there now. I go to my Concierge Gym and I use my membership at The Gym with my friends. A "co-ed" gym. That I use. To workout. With boys around. I can honestly say that never and I mean NEVER in a million years would have believed that I would be working out at a gym that I was paying to use. But I do. And I'm happy about it, too.
I have traded those restaurant menus for a little healthy home cooking. I should modify this to say that, even though restaurants haven't left me, I make smarter food choices when I'm out. I think about ingredients. I think about food preparation. I thought about them before, but in a completely "I'm here to just enjoy my love of food" way. I have incorporated healthy lifestyle into my love. I also buy more fruit than I ever have before. I don't have a problem consuming veg. I do have a problem consuming fruit. So, I buy more of it. Cherries are my favorite right now. Oranges are always a stand-by. Strawberries are great too. I buy based on ingredients in products and nutrition in general. I've always "sort-of" done this, now I just always do it. Period. even my "splurges" are small serving sizes which I strictly follow. I love checking out at the grocery store now. All those imaginary eyes on everything coming out of the fat girl's basket are healthy! Not DIET-y, but HEALTH-y. Go me!
I turn off the TV or computer every so often and do my best to see just how much sweat I can wring out of my body. I found out that I love sweat. Well, sweat that I cause, anyway. I love seeing my arms glisten because I'm sweating. I know when my arms and legs sweat, I'm doing something good. There's not another feeling like it. I love that feeling of accomplishment when I leave The Gym a little sopping. Know what I mean?
I blog to truly hold myself accountable. It started as a social experiment of sorts. It really was just to record my thoughts and feelings about my love/hate relationship with the world of weight. It's grown into so much more. I love my "blog watchers". Each of you is like a member of my extended family. And just like you're part of mine, I feel like I'm part of yours. I love writing my blog, but I love reading yours, too. I don't think that one could work without the other. After all, it takes a village... :-)
I've made my story something exceptional instead of exhausting, something phenomenal instead of pedestrian, something remarkable instead of run-of-the-mill. But, you know what? It always has been.
I have cornered and killed at least one of my bad habits. And it's not easy. One bad habit gone...no exercise. That one died this year. Yea me! The big one I'm still working on, completely quit smoking. Completely. No "snacking". Ever. Such a pain in the ass.
I reached deep down and found a gear that I didn't know I even had. Um, Hello?! I posted pictures of me on the internet in my BATHING SUIT. That would definitely be a gear I didn't know I had.
If the wind could really catch my sails, am I even aware of the places I could go, the future I could make for myself? I'm not 100% sure of where I'm going to end up "docking" after this healthy trip, but I sure am enjoying the ride!
I don't take "I can't" for an answer. I stepped out of my own way and I'm moving full on ahead with my eyes wide open and limitless expectations.
This is what has happened.
This is the new me. And I'm hungry for more!
-jafg
279.2 lbs
I'm not exactly sure what's happened here. I am exactly sure that I'm none too happy about it.
You should all know by now that I am an avid stalker of Jack Sh*t. I usually talk about him fondly in passing, but today I must dedicate my blog post to his blog post What Would Happen.... Before you read further, please take a moment to read his. It's not extremely wordy so it shouldn't take too long...
Read it already? Ok, you may move forward now.
Close to this time last year, after reading this post I'd be sitting in my chair right now with a serious case of the "What If"s. Today, though, I'm not!
I've committed, I mean really committed to this weightloss journey of mine. How do I know? I know because I make decisions weekly, daily, hourly, even minute-to-minute about my health and weightloss. Sometimes, I don't make the right choices, but I recognize them now, really recognize them, and I take the opportunity to right myself when I am wrong. I realized it isn't a race. There is no finish line.
I've transitioned from the "half-hearted swipe" to an honest effort. I may struggle with 6:00am, but I know it's there now. I go to my Concierge Gym and I use my membership at The Gym with my friends. A "co-ed" gym. That I use. To workout. With boys around. I can honestly say that never and I mean NEVER in a million years would have believed that I would be working out at a gym that I was paying to use. But I do. And I'm happy about it, too.
I have traded those restaurant menus for a little healthy home cooking. I should modify this to say that, even though restaurants haven't left me, I make smarter food choices when I'm out. I think about ingredients. I think about food preparation. I thought about them before, but in a completely "I'm here to just enjoy my love of food" way. I have incorporated healthy lifestyle into my love. I also buy more fruit than I ever have before. I don't have a problem consuming veg. I do have a problem consuming fruit. So, I buy more of it. Cherries are my favorite right now. Oranges are always a stand-by. Strawberries are great too. I buy based on ingredients in products and nutrition in general. I've always "sort-of" done this, now I just always do it. Period. even my "splurges" are small serving sizes which I strictly follow. I love checking out at the grocery store now. All those imaginary eyes on everything coming out of the fat girl's basket are healthy! Not DIET-y, but HEALTH-y. Go me!
I turn off the TV or computer every so often and do my best to see just how much sweat I can wring out of my body. I found out that I love sweat. Well, sweat that I cause, anyway. I love seeing my arms glisten because I'm sweating. I know when my arms and legs sweat, I'm doing something good. There's not another feeling like it. I love that feeling of accomplishment when I leave The Gym a little sopping. Know what I mean?
I blog to truly hold myself accountable. It started as a social experiment of sorts. It really was just to record my thoughts and feelings about my love/hate relationship with the world of weight. It's grown into so much more. I love my "blog watchers". Each of you is like a member of my extended family. And just like you're part of mine, I feel like I'm part of yours. I love writing my blog, but I love reading yours, too. I don't think that one could work without the other. After all, it takes a village... :-)
I've made my story something exceptional instead of exhausting, something phenomenal instead of pedestrian, something remarkable instead of run-of-the-mill. But, you know what? It always has been.
I have cornered and killed at least one of my bad habits. And it's not easy. One bad habit gone...no exercise. That one died this year. Yea me! The big one I'm still working on, completely quit smoking. Completely. No "snacking". Ever. Such a pain in the ass.
I reached deep down and found a gear that I didn't know I even had. Um, Hello?! I posted pictures of me on the internet in my BATHING SUIT. That would definitely be a gear I didn't know I had.
If the wind could really catch my sails, am I even aware of the places I could go, the future I could make for myself? I'm not 100% sure of where I'm going to end up "docking" after this healthy trip, but I sure am enjoying the ride!
I don't take "I can't" for an answer. I stepped out of my own way and I'm moving full on ahead with my eyes wide open and limitless expectations.
This is what has happened.
This is the new me. And I'm hungry for more!
-jafg
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
6 Months Into 2010
281.4 lbs
Virtual Sigh.
Life at Lakehouse was very nice. Except for the thousands of "no-see-um" bites all over my extremities. That's another blog-tale. Benadryl anti-itch cream is my BFF right now.
I actually didn't head out until Saturday afternoon which I am SO glad about because it's in Deliverance country. Not really, but there are very narrow, winding roads and I surely wouldn't have been able to find my way in the dark of Friday night. I did bring food and beverage and all were well-received. Especially the strawberries and cherries which were all eaten up by day 2. BB made the Knorr Spinach dip sans Hawaiian bread. We dipped organic carrots and celery into that and it was heavenly. All meat was grilled, we had a "pork butt" which is aparently the shoulder, not the butt, and boneless chicken breasts. There were scalloped potatoes and potato salad and good fresh salad to eat too. There were also turtle brownies a la Betty Crocker (or was is Duncan Hines) Sunday night.
Aside from the food, there was lots of fun. We sat around drinking mimosas on a rainy Sunday morning and played Go Fish. That's right, I said Go Fish. I dare you to remember exactly how to play. Between the three of us, we made something up that resembled it and then played for a few hours. We jumped on the boat and tootled around got some sun (yes, I was in a make-shift sun-getting outfit) and then headed back for food. After food was more boat time and sunset hunting time. It was totally worth the chill in the boating air for what came next.
Here are a few shots for your viewing pleasure:
And...
Simply breathtaking, isn't it?
After heading back from the sunset we settle in for some movie and turtle brownie time. There's no real TV in the boondocks so we watched an old Cary Grant movie and called it a night. It really was fun!
Even though I have added a few lbs from the holiday weekend, I will do my best to be healthy in the food department in the upcoming week. I head out for Beach Town in the morning.
It sure would be nice to come back to lost lbs...
-jafg
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Yin and Yang and Predictable Predicaments
05/25/10
279.2 lbs
Whew. It's still not the 278.2 lbs it was on Friday, but I'll take it.
I finally broke the exercise drought this morning. I woke up before 6:00am, got out of bed by 6:10 and was dressed and at Concierge Gym by 6:30. Some chick was on my favorite elliptical which made me cuss. I was a little nervous about trying to do exercise this morning because of my knee. It went ok. I had initially set the timer for 30 minutes, but ended up only doing 20. It took me about 10 minutes to decide that my knee was ok so the last 10 minutes really worked up a sweat. I kept the pace at "moderate" and was pretty happy when I finished.
It was nice to have that feeling of sweatiness again. I'm not sure how to explain this really, but it does give one a sense of accomplishment. Like instant gratification, even, because by sweating you know that you're pushing your body to be the best it can be and work like the machine it is. Perhaps that's just the endorphins that are being released in my brain, but I love that feeling. I'm amazed at how quickly I forgot just how great it feels to work up a good sweat.
I've also realized something else. I appreciate my healthy eating habits a whole helluva lot more when I have exercise in the mix. It's not just the extra calories that I get to add to my "net count" or whatever that it, it's like the yin/yang affect or something. Like knowing that one is working to help the other one. Pretty darn cool.
And in other news....
This weekend is Memorial Day weekend in case you didn't know. If I actually have readers from outside of the USA and/or you don't know what Memorial Day holiday is, well, it's a day we honor all those who have fallen in the service of our country. I always hang Old Glory on this day.
It's also a day of Bar-B-Que and Beer. Not nearly as noble, but equally steeped in tradition.
BB and Her Beau invited me out to Lakehouse for M Day this year. I'm on the fence about going. Of course I'm fretting the whole Bathing Suit + Friends combo, but it's not nearly as bad as it was for Labor Day. I see this as progress. It's encouraging. I've exercised with the kids as A Unit (everything is pretty much "A Unit" with these two) and they totally heart me for me, there's no doubt. I'm just trying to play out in my head what I'll be doing. I also know that they'll be out of town and since I've rejoined the apartment dwellers, I don't have a grill and theirs will be available for use. Yep. What I've got here is a predicament. I've still got a few days before I have to really make my mind up.
On a good note, I am 5.8 lbs lighter than I was last time I was at their place.
Yea!
-jafg
279.2 lbs
Whew. It's still not the 278.2 lbs it was on Friday, but I'll take it.
I finally broke the exercise drought this morning. I woke up before 6:00am, got out of bed by 6:10 and was dressed and at Concierge Gym by 6:30. Some chick was on my favorite elliptical which made me cuss. I was a little nervous about trying to do exercise this morning because of my knee. It went ok. I had initially set the timer for 30 minutes, but ended up only doing 20. It took me about 10 minutes to decide that my knee was ok so the last 10 minutes really worked up a sweat. I kept the pace at "moderate" and was pretty happy when I finished.
It was nice to have that feeling of sweatiness again. I'm not sure how to explain this really, but it does give one a sense of accomplishment. Like instant gratification, even, because by sweating you know that you're pushing your body to be the best it can be and work like the machine it is. Perhaps that's just the endorphins that are being released in my brain, but I love that feeling. I'm amazed at how quickly I forgot just how great it feels to work up a good sweat.
I've also realized something else. I appreciate my healthy eating habits a whole helluva lot more when I have exercise in the mix. It's not just the extra calories that I get to add to my "net count" or whatever that it, it's like the yin/yang affect or something. Like knowing that one is working to help the other one. Pretty darn cool.
And in other news....
This weekend is Memorial Day weekend in case you didn't know. If I actually have readers from outside of the USA and/or you don't know what Memorial Day holiday is, well, it's a day we honor all those who have fallen in the service of our country. I always hang Old Glory on this day.
It's also a day of Bar-B-Que and Beer. Not nearly as noble, but equally steeped in tradition.
BB and Her Beau invited me out to Lakehouse for M Day this year. I'm on the fence about going. Of course I'm fretting the whole Bathing Suit + Friends combo, but it's not nearly as bad as it was for Labor Day. I see this as progress. It's encouraging. I've exercised with the kids as A Unit (everything is pretty much "A Unit" with these two) and they totally heart me for me, there's no doubt. I'm just trying to play out in my head what I'll be doing. I also know that they'll be out of town and since I've rejoined the apartment dwellers, I don't have a grill and theirs will be available for use. Yep. What I've got here is a predicament. I've still got a few days before I have to really make my mind up.
On a good note, I am 5.8 lbs lighter than I was last time I was at their place.
Yea!
-jafg
Monday, May 24, 2010
Um...
05/24/10
280.4 lbs
This just sucks.
I had an unfortunate weekend. Really, it wasn't a bad weekend. There was no stress or unhappiness or other reason to fall off the wagon, it just seems right now, I am in this funk. Things are going well but I can't seem to get my emotions on the same page. I am wondering if this is a late blooming sort of fat withdrawal. According to myfitnesspal, I've been going over my daily allowance of fat grams like every day since I started using that website, but I'm feeling the strong urge for a burger and fries. Or mexican cheese dip. Or like a deep dish pizza. Or a sausage egg and cheese breakfast sandwich. Oh wait. I had one of those on Saturday.
I didn't exercise Friday night which is actually my favorite night to go to the gym. No, I was contacted by someone I've met on facebook (friend of a friend sort of thing) and we happen to both be in the same place at the same time, so we decided to get together. The someone happened to be of the boy persuasion. Well, not too much of a boy, considering the 6 year age difference. Now kids, before your minds go too crazy like mine almost did on Friday, this was not a date. This was meeting for a first time, getting to know someone "IRL" (in real life) and talk about mutual interests. We paid for our own meals and have no set plans in the future. Honestly, I've only had one blind date in my life and have never been one for the dating scene. It's always been different where my relationships are concerned. Nothing's ever really been conventional. Because of this I'm a dating flunky. So I classified this in my mind as a sort of practice date. Unbeknownst to the someone, of course.
Well, I didn't let any of this bother me too much because I knew this wasn't a date to begin with. I did go home and "freshen up", chose between two different outfits and changed out my jewelry selections a few times which was actually very fun and girly. I was 15 minutes late which is totally standard for me, but there was pre-meeting texting going on and he was gracious and patient about it all. I drank beers (it's a slow process) and had a great grilled chicken sandwich. We talked about art and life and politics and religion and music and life again which made for a great 3 hours. I didn't feel uncomfortable once. It was nice!
I got up Saturday morning and went swimming with a work friend. We met up at my new gym at 7:35am. I was supposed to meet her at 6:30 but when she called me to make sure I was on my way at 6:25, I was still in bed. I roll out of bed, throw on something for swimming (which includes a tshirt and shorts) and head out. We get to The Gym at 7:35am. AWESOME! It's so empty! Well, we park the car, pile out and get to the door. Which is locked. Turns out the place doesn't open until 8:00am on Saturdays. Oops. At least I don't feel so bad about being late now. We decide to go for a quick healthy breakfast. Prior Fat Girl has been raving about the breakfast sandwiches from Subway so I suggest we swing by and get one of those. Well, turns out the location we find doesn't open for breakfast. Damnit. We end up with traditional fast food breakfast from an Arby's down the street. Neither of us opted for the breakfast potatoes I'm proud to say.
So we take our no longer healthy breakfast food back to The Gym parking lot and nosh on our goodies. We're both laughing at the fact that we're eating sausage and bacon before heading to work out. Slowly but steadily the parking lot begins to fill and a line begins to form outside the door. There are a lot of older gray-headed people waiting with bike shorts on. In case you didn't know, real bike shorts have padding in the butt. The padding makes you look like you're either wearing a diaper that needs to be changed, or your not wearing a diaper and you still need to change. Not a pretty picture on an old gray-haired man. Jes Sayin.
Once we get in we realize why there's a line; it's for the spinning class. Everyone wants to get in it. I have more respect for Mr. Doodey Pants now. But his pants still looked funny.
Work Friend and I head to the women's locker room and head for the pool. We get in there and almost all the lanes are full. There are two left and there's no divider between them which is PERFECT for us. I did laps (slow-moving-doggie-paddling laps) for about an hour and had mindless girl chatter. It was so much fun!
We just went back and forth from the shallow end to the deep end chit-chatting about her upcoming nuptials and move (she and her fiancé will be moving to up north for his Graduate school program) and nonsensical stuff like previous public pool experiences. Before we knew it, an hour had gone by. We decided to get out of the water because more and more people were heading in and we thought it was best to let some real swimmers have a go at a lane.
The locker room changing was so not fun. I changed in a dungeon-like shower stall standing on a hand towel. I won't be doing that again.
After the swim I headed home and had a chance to layout at the concierge pool for about 45 minutes before people started getting there. I ended up feeling very overheated and left just as the first boys arrived. It truly was a coincidence. I don't like being at any pool when boys are around. There are too many skinny girls for me to feel comfortable. Hell, even if there weren't skinny girls around, I'd be uncomfortable in the tight fitting tank and workout short I was wearing. I packed up and left. I didn't feel good so I ended up taking a 3 hour nap.
Sunday I decided to head to the pool earlier for more alone time and less heat. I didn't quite make it as early as I'd planned. I only got about 15 extra minutes (made for 30 minutes of alone time) before the first party group arrived. It was 5 boys and a girl. They couldn't have been older than 23. Honestly, it didn't bother me too much to be there with them. I stayed for about 30 minutes longer, it was just them and me, and then I decided to leave.
I fully realized something that has been kind of rolling around in the back of my brain for awhile. I have more confidence and less self-consciousness now that I'm actively losing weight. I know there are people that, even though they don't say anything, they still register in their thought processes that I'm a big girl. It's a simple fact. I am proud of myself, because I can be in situations that would have had me pretty shaken up earlier in this process even though I believe I'm a pretty secure person for the most part. I've never been one to hide in a corner, but I sure as hell wouldn't have been comfortable to hang out for an additional 30 minutes in a pool where 5 boys and a thin pretty girl were whooping it up. That just wouldn't have happened. But now it's different. I know I'm just another fat girl, but I'm doing something about it.
Sunday had a nice 3 hour nap tucked into it as well. I made it through dinner but still had this "deprived" feeling at the end of the night. I ended up ordering my thin crust pizza from Domino's at 8:30pm last night.
It was good, too.
-jafg
280.4 lbs
This just sucks.
I had an unfortunate weekend. Really, it wasn't a bad weekend. There was no stress or unhappiness or other reason to fall off the wagon, it just seems right now, I am in this funk. Things are going well but I can't seem to get my emotions on the same page. I am wondering if this is a late blooming sort of fat withdrawal. According to myfitnesspal, I've been going over my daily allowance of fat grams like every day since I started using that website, but I'm feeling the strong urge for a burger and fries. Or mexican cheese dip. Or like a deep dish pizza. Or a sausage egg and cheese breakfast sandwich. Oh wait. I had one of those on Saturday.
I didn't exercise Friday night which is actually my favorite night to go to the gym. No, I was contacted by someone I've met on facebook (friend of a friend sort of thing) and we happen to both be in the same place at the same time, so we decided to get together. The someone happened to be of the boy persuasion. Well, not too much of a boy, considering the 6 year age difference. Now kids, before your minds go too crazy like mine almost did on Friday, this was not a date. This was meeting for a first time, getting to know someone "IRL" (in real life) and talk about mutual interests. We paid for our own meals and have no set plans in the future. Honestly, I've only had one blind date in my life and have never been one for the dating scene. It's always been different where my relationships are concerned. Nothing's ever really been conventional. Because of this I'm a dating flunky. So I classified this in my mind as a sort of practice date. Unbeknownst to the someone, of course.
Well, I didn't let any of this bother me too much because I knew this wasn't a date to begin with. I did go home and "freshen up", chose between two different outfits and changed out my jewelry selections a few times which was actually very fun and girly. I was 15 minutes late which is totally standard for me, but there was pre-meeting texting going on and he was gracious and patient about it all. I drank beers (it's a slow process) and had a great grilled chicken sandwich. We talked about art and life and politics and religion and music and life again which made for a great 3 hours. I didn't feel uncomfortable once. It was nice!
I got up Saturday morning and went swimming with a work friend. We met up at my new gym at 7:35am. I was supposed to meet her at 6:30 but when she called me to make sure I was on my way at 6:25, I was still in bed. I roll out of bed, throw on something for swimming (which includes a tshirt and shorts) and head out. We get to The Gym at 7:35am. AWESOME! It's so empty! Well, we park the car, pile out and get to the door. Which is locked. Turns out the place doesn't open until 8:00am on Saturdays. Oops. At least I don't feel so bad about being late now. We decide to go for a quick healthy breakfast. Prior Fat Girl has been raving about the breakfast sandwiches from Subway so I suggest we swing by and get one of those. Well, turns out the location we find doesn't open for breakfast. Damnit. We end up with traditional fast food breakfast from an Arby's down the street. Neither of us opted for the breakfast potatoes I'm proud to say.
So we take our no longer healthy breakfast food back to The Gym parking lot and nosh on our goodies. We're both laughing at the fact that we're eating sausage and bacon before heading to work out. Slowly but steadily the parking lot begins to fill and a line begins to form outside the door. There are a lot of older gray-headed people waiting with bike shorts on. In case you didn't know, real bike shorts have padding in the butt. The padding makes you look like you're either wearing a diaper that needs to be changed, or your not wearing a diaper and you still need to change. Not a pretty picture on an old gray-haired man. Jes Sayin.
Once we get in we realize why there's a line; it's for the spinning class. Everyone wants to get in it. I have more respect for Mr. Doodey Pants now. But his pants still looked funny.
We just went back and forth from the shallow end to the deep end chit-chatting about her upcoming nuptials and move (she and her fiancé will be moving to up north for his Graduate school program) and nonsensical stuff like previous public pool experiences. Before we knew it, an hour had gone by. We decided to get out of the water because more and more people were heading in and we thought it was best to let some real swimmers have a go at a lane.
The locker room changing was so not fun. I changed in a dungeon-like shower stall standing on a hand towel. I won't be doing that again.
After the swim I headed home and had a chance to layout at the concierge pool for about 45 minutes before people started getting there. I ended up feeling very overheated and left just as the first boys arrived. It truly was a coincidence. I don't like being at any pool when boys are around. There are too many skinny girls for me to feel comfortable. Hell, even if there weren't skinny girls around, I'd be uncomfortable in the tight fitting tank and workout short I was wearing. I packed up and left. I didn't feel good so I ended up taking a 3 hour nap.
Sunday I decided to head to the pool earlier for more alone time and less heat. I didn't quite make it as early as I'd planned. I only got about 15 extra minutes (made for 30 minutes of alone time) before the first party group arrived. It was 5 boys and a girl. They couldn't have been older than 23. Honestly, it didn't bother me too much to be there with them. I stayed for about 30 minutes longer, it was just them and me, and then I decided to leave.
I fully realized something that has been kind of rolling around in the back of my brain for awhile. I have more confidence and less self-consciousness now that I'm actively losing weight. I know there are people that, even though they don't say anything, they still register in their thought processes that I'm a big girl. It's a simple fact. I am proud of myself, because I can be in situations that would have had me pretty shaken up earlier in this process even though I believe I'm a pretty secure person for the most part. I've never been one to hide in a corner, but I sure as hell wouldn't have been comfortable to hang out for an additional 30 minutes in a pool where 5 boys and a thin pretty girl were whooping it up. That just wouldn't have happened. But now it's different. I know I'm just another fat girl, but I'm doing something about it.
Sunday had a nice 3 hour nap tucked into it as well. I made it through dinner but still had this "deprived" feeling at the end of the night. I ended up ordering my thin crust pizza from Domino's at 8:30pm last night.
It was good, too.
-jafg
Friday, May 21, 2010
The Hate Side of My Love/Hate Relationship With The World Of Weight
05/21/10
278.2 lbs
*Warning: Cranky JAFG Ahead*
I'm really not sure what to think. Since this little bloggin space's inception, I've not been this low on the scale.
I'm freakin happy! BUT...I have this overwhelming need to walk around and whisper I've lost 18 lbs because if I say it too loud, it might jinx it or something. Like when people whisper *cancer* or *prison*.
So yeah, I've lost 18 lbs. It's not a fluke like a 3 lbs fluctuation could be. It's 18 solid lbs. If someone asks me how I'm doing it I get to tell them "I'm doing it the old fashioned way: Healthy Eating and Exercise". No one wants to hear that, but it's the truth. Now, IF there were some magic way to do this while being able to eat whatever whenever I wanted, and I didn't have to exercise, then, well, I bet I'd be doing that instead.
My life's been very boring as of late. I have no funny stories to share or even any to pull from in the right recent past. I'm watching what I do for food religiously and tracking it all on myfitnesspal. I'm weighing myself every morning and, this week, have just been sitting on my couch watching tv or checking FB at night.
I love routine and I hate it too! Right now, I'm totally in an I-hate-it phase. I'm in a rut/funk/ditch/somethin and I need a change. I've really had to be a grown-up at work which, translated, means I'm not doing anything fun. I need to blow off some steam. I had plans to visit BFF and Her Hubbie this weekend, but had to cancel that. Grr. I've been disconnected from SAG and BB because everyone is just busy with l-i-f-e right now.
On a good note, I am going to Beach Town the first week of June. I'll be there for work, but I'm bringing BFF (it'll just be her and me) and we're staying in a fantab hotel ON the beach. Even when I lived there, I never stayed ON the beach. Well, there was that one Halloween weekend and then that random night one summer, but you know what I mean. I'm really looking forward to that!
I've strained my knee from pushing too hard through HHH class and bouncing around and all that. You know how walking down the stairs is usually the easiest thing in the world? Yeah. Not for me. Not right now. I hate this.
Turns out all those crunching sounds that I've heard in my knee for years has been what they call runner's knee. Commonplace among runners and overweight people. Well, I'm not in the runner category in case you didn't know. Actually, while I've had this mild, unchecked version of this pain in my knee for at least two years back that I can remember, since I started exercising in like 0-to-60 mode I've had a serious flare-up.
It's treatable with stretches and "quad stengthening" and a brace and ice and Motrin which is fantastic (seriously-it's a mostly free treatment plan). I also will actually have to bounce LESS in HHH class and focus on not too much resistnence on my favorite elliptical. I can't avoid The Stairs at least twice a day; however, I've been using the railing to ease things up a bit. While I've really noticed that my knee pain has eased up as the week of inactivity I feel like the rest of me is rusting inside. I also miss the extra calories that exersice affords me. Trying to keep my caloric intake under 1300 is a real pain in the ass.
I'm exercising tonight, damnit
-jafg
278.2 lbs
*Warning: Cranky JAFG Ahead*
I'm really not sure what to think. Since this little bloggin space's inception, I've not been this low on the scale.
I'm freakin happy! BUT...I have this overwhelming need to walk around and whisper I've lost 18 lbs because if I say it too loud, it might jinx it or something. Like when people whisper *cancer* or *prison*.
So yeah, I've lost 18 lbs. It's not a fluke like a 3 lbs fluctuation could be. It's 18 solid lbs. If someone asks me how I'm doing it I get to tell them "I'm doing it the old fashioned way: Healthy Eating and Exercise". No one wants to hear that, but it's the truth. Now, IF there were some magic way to do this while being able to eat whatever whenever I wanted, and I didn't have to exercise, then, well, I bet I'd be doing that instead.
My life's been very boring as of late. I have no funny stories to share or even any to pull from in the right recent past. I'm watching what I do for food religiously and tracking it all on myfitnesspal. I'm weighing myself every morning and, this week, have just been sitting on my couch watching tv or checking FB at night.
I love routine and I hate it too! Right now, I'm totally in an I-hate-it phase. I'm in a rut/funk/ditch/somethin and I need a change. I've really had to be a grown-up at work which, translated, means I'm not doing anything fun. I need to blow off some steam. I had plans to visit BFF and Her Hubbie this weekend, but had to cancel that. Grr. I've been disconnected from SAG and BB because everyone is just busy with l-i-f-e right now.
On a good note, I am going to Beach Town the first week of June. I'll be there for work, but I'm bringing BFF (it'll just be her and me) and we're staying in a fantab hotel ON the beach. Even when I lived there, I never stayed ON the beach. Well, there was that one Halloween weekend and then that random night one summer, but you know what I mean. I'm really looking forward to that!
I've strained my knee from pushing too hard through HHH class and bouncing around and all that. You know how walking down the stairs is usually the easiest thing in the world? Yeah. Not for me. Not right now. I hate this.
Turns out all those crunching sounds that I've heard in my knee for years has been what they call runner's knee. Commonplace among runners and overweight people. Well, I'm not in the runner category in case you didn't know. Actually, while I've had this mild, unchecked version of this pain in my knee for at least two years back that I can remember, since I started exercising in like 0-to-60 mode I've had a serious flare-up.
It's treatable with stretches and "quad stengthening" and a brace and ice and Motrin which is fantastic (seriously-it's a mostly free treatment plan). I also will actually have to bounce LESS in HHH class and focus on not too much resistnence on my favorite elliptical. I can't avoid The Stairs at least twice a day; however, I've been using the railing to ease things up a bit. While I've really noticed that my knee pain has eased up as the week of inactivity I feel like the rest of me is rusting inside. I also miss the extra calories that exersice affords me. Trying to keep my caloric intake under 1300 is a real pain in the ass.
I'm exercising tonight, damnit
-jafg
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
It Is What It Is
05/11/10
283.2 lbs
I've known this week was coming all year. I fly tomorrow. I hate flying. Not the flying so much, but the squishing into airplane seats. Fortunately, I'll be on a plane for 50 minutes and then on a plane for 2.5 hours. There's a bit of a break in between. Not much of one, but still.
I really wanted to be under 280 lbs for this trip and thought that since I'd been working out for over a month it was a possibility that it may happen. I've secretly felt like a failure every time I've stepped on the scale this past week because it didn't seem like it was going to happen. At least after Friday, the trip'll be behind me and all I have to focus on is a healthy diet and exercise.
So, this weekend I decided I wanted BBQ. Badly. So I pile Moms in the car and we head out for this BBQ place. That's when the crazy insanity ensued.
When I dine out, I always request a table. I've been in the habit of asking for a table for quite some time now. It's kinda weird, I used to always ask for a booth. The idea of sitting at a table in the center of the aisle always bugged me. Made me feel like a spotlight was on me and my food. Then I hit adulthood and could sit in the bars. Well sometime after that I realized that booths were no longer really comfortable. This, in case you haven't guessed, is because my girth had grown. That's right, there wasn't enough space between me and the table.
At first this was a slow realization. I'd be sitting with friends and think that the table was farther away from one side than the other and somehow I'd always sat on the small side. I'm a lefty which predetermines where I sit (most of the time). I thought perhaps restaurants thought leftys were skinnier and needed less space.
Then, I tried the seat swap. You'll never guess what happened. I was WRONG. One side of the booth was not smaller than the other! Well, once that happened, I then was forced with the realization that it was me that was bigger than the seat space. Great.
Of course, this picture is talking about the grown-up who goes back to elementary school, but you get the idea.
Since then, I've overcome my spotlight feeling (and learned to love it really) at a table and always know to specify prior to seating. Of course, ocassionally, I get ribbed by my friends..."what's up high maintenance?"...to which I give a hearty gafaw and move on with my life because, hey, it's really kinda true anyway.
In the not so distant past, on a night out with BB and SAG, I even tried to sit in a booth. I actually had to ask the girls to move to a nearby table because it just didn't work for me. I worked hard to not be embarrased. I could escape it because these are my workout buddies so they know I'm trying. It was still a little mortifying but the girls handled it like champs not giving one peep of snarkiness.
Well, this brings us back to Saturday. Moms and I get to the BBQ place and we can either instantly be sat at a booth or wait 20 minutes for a table. I spy one outside, a table that is, and decide to sit out there. The day is nice enough and the sun isn't going to be in our eyes. Well, I get out there and realize that the table is cemented to the wall. And to add to that, this is an end table so there's no possibility of moving the chairs to adjust the space. Moms sits down. It's kinda tight because the very skinny people at the table next to us are pushed back and talking. Well, that's taken care of with a simple "excuse me" and we're back to me. I'm staring at this seat. This very small crevice of a space they're calling a seat.
I squeeze myself into the space and I've got like a roll and a half poking over the table. I feel humiliated. It's almost to the point that I begin to feel punished. I know no one is looking at me but I felt like they were. All stress-inducing feelings are bubbling up so fast I know my face is turning red. Or maybe it was the fact that my circulation was being cut off at the waist. Either way, it's evident on my face that I'm an unhappy girl.
Moms quietly asks, "do you want to leave?" to which I can't reply "Yes" fast enough. There'd be no way I could eat anything served to me at this place.
Poor Moms. It's like when she tried to teach me how to drive a Standard. There was never so much cursing and swearing and yelling and spitting-ok, maybe there wasn't any spitting-in a car since that fateful Sunday afternoon oh so many years ago. She took it like a champ. It wasn't directed at her, it was just all those irrational feelings gushing out like some nasty infection.
Well, after driving her around half of Smaller Southern City, we wind up at another restaurant with excellent chicken and ribs. We valet the car (I wasn't kidding on the high maintenance part) and as soon as we're greeted I lay down the table law. With a smile on my face of course.
Moms and I sit down, I order a martini and she orders her glass of wine. The world is right again.
And then there's tomorrow on a plane.
Is 6:30am too early to drink?
-jafg
283.2 lbs
I've known this week was coming all year. I fly tomorrow. I hate flying. Not the flying so much, but the squishing into airplane seats. Fortunately, I'll be on a plane for 50 minutes and then on a plane for 2.5 hours. There's a bit of a break in between. Not much of one, but still.
I really wanted to be under 280 lbs for this trip and thought that since I'd been working out for over a month it was a possibility that it may happen. I've secretly felt like a failure every time I've stepped on the scale this past week because it didn't seem like it was going to happen. At least after Friday, the trip'll be behind me and all I have to focus on is a healthy diet and exercise.
So, this weekend I decided I wanted BBQ. Badly. So I pile Moms in the car and we head out for this BBQ place. That's when the crazy insanity ensued.
When I dine out, I always request a table. I've been in the habit of asking for a table for quite some time now. It's kinda weird, I used to always ask for a booth. The idea of sitting at a table in the center of the aisle always bugged me. Made me feel like a spotlight was on me and my food. Then I hit adulthood and could sit in the bars. Well sometime after that I realized that booths were no longer really comfortable. This, in case you haven't guessed, is because my girth had grown. That's right, there wasn't enough space between me and the table.
At first this was a slow realization. I'd be sitting with friends and think that the table was farther away from one side than the other and somehow I'd always sat on the small side. I'm a lefty which predetermines where I sit (most of the time). I thought perhaps restaurants thought leftys were skinnier and needed less space.
Then, I tried the seat swap. You'll never guess what happened. I was WRONG. One side of the booth was not smaller than the other! Well, once that happened, I then was forced with the realization that it was me that was bigger than the seat space. Great.
image totally pirated from imdb.com (<==love that site)
Of course, this picture is talking about the grown-up who goes back to elementary school, but you get the idea.
Since then, I've overcome my spotlight feeling (and learned to love it really) at a table and always know to specify prior to seating. Of course, ocassionally, I get ribbed by my friends..."what's up high maintenance?"...to which I give a hearty gafaw and move on with my life because, hey, it's really kinda true anyway.
In the not so distant past, on a night out with BB and SAG, I even tried to sit in a booth. I actually had to ask the girls to move to a nearby table because it just didn't work for me. I worked hard to not be embarrased. I could escape it because these are my workout buddies so they know I'm trying. It was still a little mortifying but the girls handled it like champs not giving one peep of snarkiness.
Well, this brings us back to Saturday. Moms and I get to the BBQ place and we can either instantly be sat at a booth or wait 20 minutes for a table. I spy one outside, a table that is, and decide to sit out there. The day is nice enough and the sun isn't going to be in our eyes. Well, I get out there and realize that the table is cemented to the wall. And to add to that, this is an end table so there's no possibility of moving the chairs to adjust the space. Moms sits down. It's kinda tight because the very skinny people at the table next to us are pushed back and talking. Well, that's taken care of with a simple "excuse me" and we're back to me. I'm staring at this seat. This very small crevice of a space they're calling a seat.
I squeeze myself into the space and I've got like a roll and a half poking over the table. I feel humiliated. It's almost to the point that I begin to feel punished. I know no one is looking at me but I felt like they were. All stress-inducing feelings are bubbling up so fast I know my face is turning red. Or maybe it was the fact that my circulation was being cut off at the waist. Either way, it's evident on my face that I'm an unhappy girl.
Moms quietly asks, "do you want to leave?" to which I can't reply "Yes" fast enough. There'd be no way I could eat anything served to me at this place.
Poor Moms. It's like when she tried to teach me how to drive a Standard. There was never so much cursing and swearing and yelling and spitting-ok, maybe there wasn't any spitting-in a car since that fateful Sunday afternoon oh so many years ago. She took it like a champ. It wasn't directed at her, it was just all those irrational feelings gushing out like some nasty infection.
Well, after driving her around half of Smaller Southern City, we wind up at another restaurant with excellent chicken and ribs. We valet the car (I wasn't kidding on the high maintenance part) and as soon as we're greeted I lay down the table law. With a smile on my face of course.
Moms and I sit down, I order a martini and she orders her glass of wine. The world is right again.
And then there's tomorrow on a plane.
Is 6:30am too early to drink?
-jafg
Monday, May 10, 2010
I Heart You, Mom!
05/10/10
283.4 lbs
Over the weekend Scale told me I was at 286.2 lbs. WHAT. THE. HELL. There's a whole mental saga that played out over the next two days but the end of the story is, I kicked my own ass, stopped feeling sorry for myself, and have changed my thinking to "every workout is last chance workout".
So, Mom's day was G-R-R-R-ATE (I'm using phonix, friends). Moms and I had sushi for dinner, botanical gardens for a day trip, an awesome brunch compliments of Chez JAFG, and I treated my mom to a morning workout. I was very excited about this last one. She's my cheerleader about losing weight and getting healthy and wants to do the same thing. It was really exciting to share this with her. Actually, I'm surprised by how happy it made me to have her participate in this part of my life.
My mom's a bigger woman like myself. We're built completely different; She's a pear, I'm an apple. I've got two inches on her 5'4" self. I'm "olive-complected", she's "fair-skinned". We have the same laugh and a lot of the same subconscious mannerisms and as soon as I realize that we're doing something alike at the same time I can't help but smile to myself. I get annoyed and amused at the same time.
Referring back to this weekend, I gained weight. Scale told me so two days in a row. I did A LOT of dining out with Moms and did no working out Friday or Saturday. As a matter of fact, I did nothing really, but sleep and eat on Saturday. More on that some other time.
Sunday morning, I wake up and decide to have coffee ready for Moms. When she woke up, I asked her to workout. She was totally down with trying the recumbent bike at Concierge Gym. So, we changed into workout gear and headed out.
She's a very young 53 years of age. She's got serious left knee problems (to the point that she takes The Stairs one step at a time), was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia in 2002 and now has arthritis starting in. All of this with serious allergic asthma. So this working out thing is a big deal.
She's talked with some physical therapists who have told her to get her knee moving with NO impact (thus the recumbent bike) to get the joint lubrication forming/flowing. She's supposed to take it easy on the walking front. We got her on a bike for 15 minutes at level 1. Woohoo!
She also did some resistance work on the Circuit machines with her arms. She was sore this morning, but we got out there again. Go Moms! We've got to take it easy because of all the challenges she has health-wise. I want to make sure she's not doing something that will ultimately exacerbate anything and make the situation worse. This got me thinking.
So, I was reading my blogroll came across 282.5 which I hadn't read in quite some time (Sorry Jo, and congrats on your freakin fantabulous progress!) and found a reference to a "real age" test. This one was a free service from http://www.realage.com/. I've been wanting to take one and so I used 20 minutes of my day and answered the questions honestly. It was great being able to tell it how much I exercise on a weekly basis. And then I got my results.
Actually, I'm pretty stoked about the fact I made it in under 40. I figured it would be like my first Wii age. 75. Yeah. Nice.
What got me is that the thing told me my workouts are too intense. I couldn't believe it when I read it. According to this lengthy assessment, my joint pain I've been experiencing isn't just because I've never moved so much in my life, it's because I'm pushing myself too hard. I started to connect the proverbial dots between Moms and me and I realized that, just like I don't want her pushing herself too much, I, too, shouldn't want me to push myself too much. I'm really relieved which is also surprising. I want to keep a level of intensity that will keep the fat burning happening, but I want my knees to feel better, too.
I think I've been trying to show all the skinny kids in my classes and gym (including SAG and BB) that I can keep up with the rest of them. That just because I'm fat doesn't mean that I can't do what they can. I don't think it's been intentional, I think it's been subconsciously happening.
Like the way Moms and I both get sassy with one hand on our hips. And then quickly move our hands when we realize what we're doing. At the same time. It's annoying. And funny.
I HEART YOU, MOM!
-jafg
283.4 lbs
Over the weekend Scale told me I was at 286.2 lbs. WHAT. THE. HELL. There's a whole mental saga that played out over the next two days but the end of the story is, I kicked my own ass, stopped feeling sorry for myself, and have changed my thinking to "every workout is last chance workout".
So, Mom's day was G-R-R-R-ATE (I'm using phonix, friends). Moms and I had sushi for dinner, botanical gardens for a day trip, an awesome brunch compliments of Chez JAFG, and I treated my mom to a morning workout. I was very excited about this last one. She's my cheerleader about losing weight and getting healthy and wants to do the same thing. It was really exciting to share this with her. Actually, I'm surprised by how happy it made me to have her participate in this part of my life.
My mom's a bigger woman like myself. We're built completely different; She's a pear, I'm an apple. I've got two inches on her 5'4" self. I'm "olive-complected", she's "fair-skinned". We have the same laugh and a lot of the same subconscious mannerisms and as soon as I realize that we're doing something alike at the same time I can't help but smile to myself. I get annoyed and amused at the same time.
Referring back to this weekend, I gained weight. Scale told me so two days in a row. I did A LOT of dining out with Moms and did no working out Friday or Saturday. As a matter of fact, I did nothing really, but sleep and eat on Saturday. More on that some other time.
Sunday morning, I wake up and decide to have coffee ready for Moms. When she woke up, I asked her to workout. She was totally down with trying the recumbent bike at Concierge Gym. So, we changed into workout gear and headed out.
She's a very young 53 years of age. She's got serious left knee problems (to the point that she takes The Stairs one step at a time), was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia in 2002 and now has arthritis starting in. All of this with serious allergic asthma. So this working out thing is a big deal.
She's talked with some physical therapists who have told her to get her knee moving with NO impact (thus the recumbent bike) to get the joint lubrication forming/flowing. She's supposed to take it easy on the walking front. We got her on a bike for 15 minutes at level 1. Woohoo!
She also did some resistance work on the Circuit machines with her arms. She was sore this morning, but we got out there again. Go Moms! We've got to take it easy because of all the challenges she has health-wise. I want to make sure she's not doing something that will ultimately exacerbate anything and make the situation worse. This got me thinking.
So, I was reading my blogroll came across 282.5 which I hadn't read in quite some time (Sorry Jo, and congrats on your freakin fantabulous progress!) and found a reference to a "real age" test. This one was a free service from http://www.realage.com/. I've been wanting to take one and so I used 20 minutes of my day and answered the questions honestly. It was great being able to tell it how much I exercise on a weekly basis. And then I got my results.
What got me is that the thing told me my workouts are too intense. I couldn't believe it when I read it. According to this lengthy assessment, my joint pain I've been experiencing isn't just because I've never moved so much in my life, it's because I'm pushing myself too hard. I started to connect the proverbial dots between Moms and me and I realized that, just like I don't want her pushing herself too much, I, too, shouldn't want me to push myself too much. I'm really relieved which is also surprising. I want to keep a level of intensity that will keep the fat burning happening, but I want my knees to feel better, too.
I think I've been trying to show all the skinny kids in my classes and gym (including SAG and BB) that I can keep up with the rest of them. That just because I'm fat doesn't mean that I can't do what they can. I don't think it's been intentional, I think it's been subconsciously happening.
Like the way Moms and I both get sassy with one hand on our hips. And then quickly move our hands when we realize what we're doing. At the same time. It's annoying. And funny.
I HEART YOU, MOM!
-jafg
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Public Service Announcement
05/05/10
282.5 lbs
Honestly, I don't remember what came after the point so I'm splitting it down the middle and calling it a .5. Don't hold it against me.
Do you know what today is? If you said Cinco de Mayo, you're wrong. I mean, you're right, but you're wrong.
Today is Love Another Blogger Day. (<==for me anyway)
Last night I was catching up on my blog reading and came across two blogs that are kinda opposite ends of the spectrum. One had a success and one had a fail. In the universe of diet karma, these seem to cancel each other out, but in fact, I believe the success happened so it could be an encouragement to the one that failed.
Here's blog #1 It's All About The Walls. This is my friend Amanda who has been sitting at a plateau for weeks. In her blog she maps out how things coulda gone wrong and she coulda thrown in the towel and quit. She didn't, she just waited, albeit not so patiently, and finally, the scale moved and moved in the right direction. YEA Amanda! What a break through moment! If you're a habitual dieter as I have been in the past, you'll know that plateaus SUCK EGGS. So, finally pushing through one (and by 2 pounds even!) is like nothing short of a miracle.
Then there's blog #2 It's just Me, Drazil & Sheniqua.....This is my new friend "Me". Well, actually, there's a trio rolled into one here I think of her as Drazil most of the time. Anyway. Reportedly, there's been a scale buster in Drazilland and that is never fun. Not seeing a scale move is one thing, but to see it move in the wrong direction is another. This is a hard working girl who's busted her "patootie" to get where she is and even has rewarded herself with a tummy-tuck at the end of it all. And now, after a month of little life things, there's some gain-age on the homefront. I don't know how much, but really, is there any gain-age that makes us happy on the scales?
If you watch The Biggest Loser and follow the tweets like #TBL or #BiggestLoser, then you're bound to know about all the insane crying that happens when the show is on. Now kids, if you don't know this by now, I am not one to really appreciate any emotional display other than snarkiness or ranting. However, that damn show has brought me to near hysterics for three weeks in a row!!!! I've been trying to figure out why because I haven't been sad OR happy when the waterworks have begun. I figured it out last night.
I am touched by the genuine feelings these contestants are sharing. Now, I'm not tearing when they're tearing. Actually, when someone else cries on TV, I get a little annoyed. I'm tearing at the stories, the triumphs, the struggles, the overall genuine real humanity of a weightloss battle. Well, that's what's going on here. A little genuine dose of reality in the bloggin world.
My bloggin heart really loves these ladies and all the blogs that I stalk or read occasionally. I think that those of us who have good days are here to encourage those of us who don't have good days. I am willing to bet that for every bad day, there's a good day to match it and that's where we should get our strength, encouragement, motivation, and overall warm fuzzies.
Amanda, meet Drazil. Drazil, meet Amanda. You two need each other right now. And we all need you!
There. I've done my good deed for the day.
-jafg
282.5 lbs
Honestly, I don't remember what came after the point so I'm splitting it down the middle and calling it a .5. Don't hold it against me.
Do you know what today is? If you said Cinco de Mayo, you're wrong. I mean, you're right, but you're wrong.
Today is Love Another Blogger Day. (<==for me anyway)
Last night I was catching up on my blog reading and came across two blogs that are kinda opposite ends of the spectrum. One had a success and one had a fail. In the universe of diet karma, these seem to cancel each other out, but in fact, I believe the success happened so it could be an encouragement to the one that failed.
Here's blog #1 It's All About The Walls. This is my friend Amanda who has been sitting at a plateau for weeks. In her blog she maps out how things coulda gone wrong and she coulda thrown in the towel and quit. She didn't, she just waited, albeit not so patiently, and finally, the scale moved and moved in the right direction. YEA Amanda! What a break through moment! If you're a habitual dieter as I have been in the past, you'll know that plateaus SUCK EGGS. So, finally pushing through one (and by 2 pounds even!) is like nothing short of a miracle.
Then there's blog #2 It's just Me, Drazil & Sheniqua.....This is my new friend "Me". Well, actually, there's a trio rolled into one here I think of her as Drazil most of the time. Anyway. Reportedly, there's been a scale buster in Drazilland and that is never fun. Not seeing a scale move is one thing, but to see it move in the wrong direction is another. This is a hard working girl who's busted her "patootie" to get where she is and even has rewarded herself with a tummy-tuck at the end of it all. And now, after a month of little life things, there's some gain-age on the homefront. I don't know how much, but really, is there any gain-age that makes us happy on the scales?
If you watch The Biggest Loser and follow the tweets like #TBL or #BiggestLoser, then you're bound to know about all the insane crying that happens when the show is on. Now kids, if you don't know this by now, I am not one to really appreciate any emotional display other than snarkiness or ranting. However, that damn show has brought me to near hysterics for three weeks in a row!!!! I've been trying to figure out why because I haven't been sad OR happy when the waterworks have begun. I figured it out last night.
I am touched by the genuine feelings these contestants are sharing. Now, I'm not tearing when they're tearing. Actually, when someone else cries on TV, I get a little annoyed. I'm tearing at the stories, the triumphs, the struggles, the overall genuine real humanity of a weightloss battle. Well, that's what's going on here. A little genuine dose of reality in the bloggin world.
My bloggin heart really loves these ladies and all the blogs that I stalk or read occasionally. I think that those of us who have good days are here to encourage those of us who don't have good days. I am willing to bet that for every bad day, there's a good day to match it and that's where we should get our strength, encouragement, motivation, and overall warm fuzzies.
Amanda, meet Drazil. Drazil, meet Amanda. You two need each other right now. And we all need you!
There. I've done my good deed for the day.
-jafg
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