What Has Happened...

06/15/10

279.2 lbs

I'm not exactly sure what's happened here.  I am exactly sure that I'm none too happy about it.

You should all know by now that I am an avid stalker of Jack Sh*t.  I usually talk about him fondly in passing, but today I must dedicate my blog post to his blog post  What Would Happen.... Before you read further, please take a moment to read his.  It's not extremely wordy so it shouldn't take too long...

Read it already?  Ok, you may move forward now.

Close to this time last year, after reading this post I'd be sitting in my chair right now with a serious case of the "What If"s. Today, though, I'm not!

I've committed, I mean really committed to this weightloss journey of mine.  How do I know?  I know because I make decisions weekly, daily, hourly, even minute-to-minute about my health and weightloss. Sometimes, I don't make the right choices, but I recognize them now, really recognize them, and I take the opportunity to right myself when I am wrong.  I realized it isn't a race.  There is no finish line.


I've transitioned from the "half-hearted swipe" to an honest effort.  I may struggle with 6:00am, but I know it's there now.  I go to my Concierge Gym and I use my membership at The Gym with my friends.  A "co-ed" gym.  That I use. To workout.  With boys around.  I can honestly say that never and I mean NEVER in a million years would have believed that I would be working out at a gym that I was paying to use.  But I do.  And I'm happy about it, too.

I have traded those restaurant menus for a little healthy home cooking.  I should modify this to say that, even though restaurants haven't left me, I make smarter food choices when I'm out.  I think about ingredients.  I think about food preparation.  I thought about them before, but in a completely "I'm here to just enjoy my love of food" way.  I have incorporated healthy lifestyle into my love.  I also buy more fruit than I ever have before.  I don't have a problem consuming veg.  I do have a problem consuming fruit.  So, I buy more of it.  Cherries are my favorite right now.  Oranges are always a stand-by.  Strawberries are great too.  I buy based on ingredients in products and nutrition in general.  I've always "sort-of" done this, now I just always do it.  Period. even my "splurges" are small serving sizes which I strictly follow.  I love checking out at the grocery store now.  All those imaginary eyes on everything coming out of the fat girl's basket are healthy!  Not DIET-y, but HEALTH-y.  Go me!

I turn off the TV or computer every so often and do my best to see just how much sweat I can wring out of my body.  I found out that I love sweat.  Well, sweat that I cause, anyway.  I love seeing my arms glisten because I'm sweating.  I know when my arms and legs sweat, I'm doing something good.  There's not another feeling like it.  I love that feeling of accomplishment when I leave The Gym a little sopping.  Know what I mean? 

I blog to truly hold myself accountable.  It started as a social experiment of sorts.  It really was just to record my thoughts and feelings about my love/hate relationship with the world of weight.  It's grown into so much more.  I love my "blog watchers".  Each of you is like a member of my extended family.  And just like you're part of mine, I feel like I'm part of yours.  I love writing my blog, but I love reading yours, too.  I don't think that one could work without the other.  After all, it takes a village...  :-)

I've made my story something exceptional instead of exhausting, something phenomenal instead of pedestrian, something remarkable instead of run-of-the-mill.  But, you know what?  It always has been.

I have cornered and killed at least one of my bad habits.  And it's not easy.  One bad habit gone...no exercise. That one died this year.  Yea me!  The big one I'm still working on, completely quit smoking.  Completely.  No "snacking".  Ever.  Such a pain in the ass.

I reached deep down and found a gear that I didn't know I even had. Um, Hello?!  I posted pictures of me on the internet in my BATHING SUIT.  That would definitely be a gear I didn't know I had.

If the wind could really catch my sails, am I even aware of the places I could go, the future I could make for myself? I'm not 100% sure of where I'm going to end up "docking" after this healthy trip, but I sure am enjoying the ride!

I don't take "I can't" for an answer.  I stepped out of my own way and I'm moving full on ahead with my eyes wide open and limitless expectations. 

This is what has happened. 

This is the new me.  And I'm hungry for more!

-jafg

W.I.D.T.H.! (I'm Finally Famous...Sort Of)

06/14/10

277.4 lbs

Just yesterday the scale said 276.6 lbs.  I have decided to make 275 lbs a goal for this week.  Wish me luck!

Ok.  So We've established I was out of town last week and the week before.  Well, I was featured in Jack Sh*t's W.I.D.T.H. post on June 2! (Find that post here ==> WIDTH A Little Help From My Friends.  I'm the 4th one down, you can't miss me...)  I haven't been this excited since he actually posted a comment on my blog last year!  (Find that post here ==> I Think Therefore I Can't?. Side note, I've come a long way, Baby!) 

I didn't discover this until I ran to my internet upon my return home Tuesday.  It was like getting a Christmas present that you hope you'll get, but aren't too sure you've been good enough throughout the year.  I feel famous now. 

Onto other equally exciting news...

I have almost won the bathing suit challenge!  YAH-HOOOOO!  I told you a few weeks ago that I made yet another bathing suit purchase; this one from Land's End.  Can I just say they rock?  I opted for a two-piece which still baffles and befuddles me.  I've mentioned in other postings that, even though I am a plus-sized shopper, I do not have a plus-sized bust.  This is really aggrivating when shopping for a bathing suit.  I have enough to merritt underwire, but not enough to merritt a large cup area.  I just need a normal size C-cup.  When I buy a suit by the bra size, I end up with like a size 16 fit which isn't physically possible at the moment (<== like how I choose to stay postive here?) When I try just the "soft cup" one-piece The Girls just hang in not flattering ways.  You see, perkiness just isn't part of the picture anymore. 

Anyway.  I decided to buy separates so I can specify a smaller top size to a lager bottom size.  It totally worked.  The girl swim shorts are a good fit as long as I'm not sitting at a 90* angle and one of the two tops fits superbly while the onter one will be nice for a little later this season (said optimistically).  They're both the same size (in theory) but one's a halter and fits differently.  I love it, but I'm new to halters so it's an adjustment.  I'll be keeping that one for later this summer.  My suits were delivered on  Thursday.

Aren't they cute??

Moms and I went to Concierge Gym on Sunday.  She did two miles on the recumbent and decided to go to the pool while I finished up on the elliptical and weight/circuit machines.  I got in a 50 minute workout that felt GOOD.  I found her wading around so I took off the tennies sat down and put my feet in the water.  Heaven.  It was great.  It occured to me that I had only gone swimming once while on vacation and that just wasn't setting right with the soul.  There weren't many people around and I kept thinking "I could have gone and gotten my suit on and been back by now".  By time I got to round three of that train of thought I'd had enough and went to change. 

I decided to throw on my new suit (that's the solid black top, not the vine halter).  I pull some shorts over my shorts, throw on my white button-down I use as a summer cover-up slather on a decent layer of sun-screen (I am a firm believer in protecting your skin in the sun), grab towels and the sun-screen bottles and head down to the pool.  All in all, it took me about 15 minutes.  I walked right in, took off my top layer of shorts, the button-down-cover-up and walked head held high (but still looking down so I didn't miss any steps) into the pool.  What a triumphant moment!  To top it off, I stayed in when cute boys came in.  I didn't mind when they ended up at the spots next to ours.  I was a little uncomfortable, but I didn't let me get too worked up, after all, I have a great tan right now.  I get out, maneuver to put more sun-screen on, and totally lay out all exposed-like on my chair!  To top it off, I totally manage to get an invitation to a White Party happening in the not so distant future from the cutest one.

At the end of pool time, I get up, pull on my button-down shirt and walk out.  I didn't even pull on the second layer of shorts!  I'm so very proud of me.  This losing weight business has boosted my confidence in ways I didn't even know needed to be done. 

That's just another reason Why I Do This Here...

-jafg

WIDTH?

05/25/10

279.4 lbs

Bloggin Legend and my own personal hero Jack Sh*t is doing this really cool photo-story lately about "Why I Do This Here" or W.I.D.T.H.  I'm ebarrassed to say that I only just saw that it spells the word "width".  Okay.  Who feels a little stupid now? 

Anyway.  Whenever I see a new tweet about a new WIDTH blogpost from him I get supah excited and head over to read the story-ettes.  I've teared up on a few of them.  Others have made me LOL. 

I finally decided to submit one today.  Being a guy who has like 1300 followers, I'm sure he gets a ton, so I wanted to share mine with my own little corner of the blog-o-verse. 

It may be cliché, but it's true...

'Nuff said.

-jafg