28 Days Later

09/11/09

279.4 lbs

That's from yesterday.  I didn't have a chance to weigh today.

This post is a little gray like the weather outside.  I'm just sayin.

So when I got to my dashboard today I saw that I have written 27 posts.  That makes this my 28th.  That's 28 days of posting.  I've heard it takes 28 days to break a habit.  I hear that a lot, because I smoke.  They've made a movie out of it where Sandra Bullock has to go to rehab because she drove her drunk car into someone's living room or something.  Or her character did I should say.  The movie was 'eh'.  Anyway, 28 seems pretty relavant in some way.  I haven't really broken any habits, but I think I've started a new one.

I write all the time about my love/hate relationship with the world of weight.  I'm just another fat girl, ya know?  Well, I realize that I've become so hyper-aware of everything relating to fat that I think I'm addicted.  I'm addicted to reading blogs.  I'm addicted to reading my own blog.  I'm addicted to the idea of other people reading my blog.  I'm addicted to Twitter.  I'm so addicted to these things, in fact, that I'm hardly on Facebook with my real persona since I started this blog.  And I could never get enough of Facebook.

So I have this secret.  Part of me is dying to share with friends that I have this awesome witty outlet (yeah, I know my blog rocks) where I really get to show just how fabulous I am and still struggle with weight, but then I realize that I could never be as candid as I am if people know about it.  It's a Catch-22.  It sucks.

Not to say this isn't fun! I love this little corner of my life. It makes me happy to come here and post.  I feel good and have a huge sense of accomplishment when I post daily and feel like I was cheated out of something when I miss a day.  Like yesterday.  I know you missed me and I want you to know that I missed me, too.  Bygones and all.  Is that what it feels like to folk who actually work out?  Hmm.  At some point I really do need to try that.

Well, enough introspection.  BFF and Hubbie are coming for a visit this weekend.  I'm excited.  I'm going to have pizza tonight and drink a few beers or something.  Don't  know what we'll do the rest of the weekend, but it's sure to be a good time.  I'll probably be back up over 280 on Monday, but that's ok.  I'm gonna try to keep it down, though.  That is, if I think about it.


-jafg