Failure Is Not An Option Except in Fashion

08/13/10

275.5 lbs

I had that coming.  Without regaling you with all the gory details, I consumed about 2400 calories yesterday and had no extracurricular activities.  Half of those were after 8:00pm.  Shame on me.

Happy Friday The 13th, Y'all!  Let the good times roll!  The bachelorette party is this weekend.  It kicks off tomorrow at 10:00am when we hit the road and goes until we come home Sunday afternoon.  I may be a little concerned.  SAG and I went out and bought party favors for the evening.  Cheesey little things that will totally make us all the cliche of the evening.  It is going to be SO much fun!  I even bought some new clothes.

I went to three stores last night:  Avenue, Steinmart and Kohl's.  I struck out at Avenue.  More times than not, I do.  But, they've got cheap big-girl clothes and when they work, they really work.   I tried a lot of clothes on and this is the first time I've done that since my 20 lb drop.  I hit my closet up and have a few new things that work great, but I haven't gone shopping.  This was a pleasant surprise.  I can almost fit comfortably in 22/24 clothes.  I was pushing a 28.  Twenty. Eight.  Sheesh. 

I can get the clothes on, but they are still snug enough that they don't pass the sit-down test.  When I try a top I always have to sit down.  If it looks good when I'm sitting (refering to the jiggle in the middle) then the top is a keeper.  If it doesn't and I'm not going to be standing all night, well, I don't buy it.  Same goes with pants. 

Anyway.  I wanted to tell you all that I even tried on a dress.  I haven't worn a dress since I was forced to wear one as MOH for BFF's wedding in 2005.  That's also the lowest I can remember my weight in a long time being 265 lbs.  And since it was a Bridesmaid dress, I don't know that it counts.  Well, I really want to wear a dress for BB and Her Beau's wedding in early October.  So I figured I better try one on and see what it looks like.  It wasn't for the wedding, it was just for casual wear.  It was like a tanktop with wide straps at the top.  Just below the bust line it had a large elastic-gathered band (same material, just all gathered and elasticized) and then the material fell to just below my knee.  It was a 22/24.  A bit snug really.  While everything did work, I needed a size larger for the elastic.  The way it fell made me look 20 months pregnant.  Ungood.  I wasn't discouraged because I actually got a 22/24 on my body.  Anyway, after an hour I walked out of Avenue empty-handed and headed to Steinmart.

Steinmart was so much more productive and was less time.  I was also more willing to pick up smaller sized clothings this trip.  It's usually hard to find anything there because they only go to 24 or 3x.  I've gotten 3x tops but never found anything else of interest or that would work.  Well...this time I found several tops and even a dress that had great wedding potential.  It was a 24, but I figured if it worked but was just a little snug, I'd still get it anyway. I went to the dressing room with all my found treasures--we're talking a serious armful here--and the freakin place was under construction and therefore not available.  Damnit.  So, I reviewed everything I had and kept the dress and two tops.  I'd try everyting on at home and take back what didn't work.  One of the two tops is a sure thing, the other is going to the alterations today to see if they can do a quick change on it and the dress is a no go.  Simply put, I didn't fill it out where I should and did where I shouldn't.  Bygones. 

Kohl's was good too.  I found a shirt that flattered my bustline like nothing ever has before.  It is made to fall perfectly in the back and front while it is a plunging neckline and hugs The Girls.  I felt sexy in this top.  The only thing is it doesn't pass the sit-down test.  It will, but I have to fidgit around quite a bit to make it happen.  Plus I've decided to wear a pair of black capris which are slightly too tight in the waist (will help prevent overeating and they look very flattering when I stand) so the combination may be too much.  I bought it anyway.  I want to wear this top SO bad this weekend.  I just don't want to be one of those fat girls who wears skin-tight clothes and has rolls hanging out everywhere.  You know which ones I'm talking about.  I mean, I am all about loving yourself and being comfortable in your own skin, but there is such a thing as fashion sense. Come on, already!  Look in a mirror and get a clue. 

If I decide that the combination is a no-go, well, I can take solice in the fact that I will be able to wear it in the very near future.  Very near.  Like on my trip to Chicago in October.  Woohoo!

As I look back over the past two weeks I realize a lot of what I've been reading and even in my own experience is about not meeting challenges either set forth by ourselves or others have given us.  Failing.  I've been saying there is no such thing as Failing, it's just modified planning.

After my little rant about fat girls and too-tight clothes...I stand corrected.


-jafg