What Has Happened...

06/15/10

279.2 lbs

I'm not exactly sure what's happened here.  I am exactly sure that I'm none too happy about it.

You should all know by now that I am an avid stalker of Jack Sh*t.  I usually talk about him fondly in passing, but today I must dedicate my blog post to his blog post  What Would Happen.... Before you read further, please take a moment to read his.  It's not extremely wordy so it shouldn't take too long...

Read it already?  Ok, you may move forward now.

Close to this time last year, after reading this post I'd be sitting in my chair right now with a serious case of the "What If"s. Today, though, I'm not!

I've committed, I mean really committed to this weightloss journey of mine.  How do I know?  I know because I make decisions weekly, daily, hourly, even minute-to-minute about my health and weightloss. Sometimes, I don't make the right choices, but I recognize them now, really recognize them, and I take the opportunity to right myself when I am wrong.  I realized it isn't a race.  There is no finish line.


I've transitioned from the "half-hearted swipe" to an honest effort.  I may struggle with 6:00am, but I know it's there now.  I go to my Concierge Gym and I use my membership at The Gym with my friends.  A "co-ed" gym.  That I use. To workout.  With boys around.  I can honestly say that never and I mean NEVER in a million years would have believed that I would be working out at a gym that I was paying to use.  But I do.  And I'm happy about it, too.

I have traded those restaurant menus for a little healthy home cooking.  I should modify this to say that, even though restaurants haven't left me, I make smarter food choices when I'm out.  I think about ingredients.  I think about food preparation.  I thought about them before, but in a completely "I'm here to just enjoy my love of food" way.  I have incorporated healthy lifestyle into my love.  I also buy more fruit than I ever have before.  I don't have a problem consuming veg.  I do have a problem consuming fruit.  So, I buy more of it.  Cherries are my favorite right now.  Oranges are always a stand-by.  Strawberries are great too.  I buy based on ingredients in products and nutrition in general.  I've always "sort-of" done this, now I just always do it.  Period. even my "splurges" are small serving sizes which I strictly follow.  I love checking out at the grocery store now.  All those imaginary eyes on everything coming out of the fat girl's basket are healthy!  Not DIET-y, but HEALTH-y.  Go me!

I turn off the TV or computer every so often and do my best to see just how much sweat I can wring out of my body.  I found out that I love sweat.  Well, sweat that I cause, anyway.  I love seeing my arms glisten because I'm sweating.  I know when my arms and legs sweat, I'm doing something good.  There's not another feeling like it.  I love that feeling of accomplishment when I leave The Gym a little sopping.  Know what I mean? 

I blog to truly hold myself accountable.  It started as a social experiment of sorts.  It really was just to record my thoughts and feelings about my love/hate relationship with the world of weight.  It's grown into so much more.  I love my "blog watchers".  Each of you is like a member of my extended family.  And just like you're part of mine, I feel like I'm part of yours.  I love writing my blog, but I love reading yours, too.  I don't think that one could work without the other.  After all, it takes a village...  :-)

I've made my story something exceptional instead of exhausting, something phenomenal instead of pedestrian, something remarkable instead of run-of-the-mill.  But, you know what?  It always has been.

I have cornered and killed at least one of my bad habits.  And it's not easy.  One bad habit gone...no exercise. That one died this year.  Yea me!  The big one I'm still working on, completely quit smoking.  Completely.  No "snacking".  Ever.  Such a pain in the ass.

I reached deep down and found a gear that I didn't know I even had. Um, Hello?!  I posted pictures of me on the internet in my BATHING SUIT.  That would definitely be a gear I didn't know I had.

If the wind could really catch my sails, am I even aware of the places I could go, the future I could make for myself? I'm not 100% sure of where I'm going to end up "docking" after this healthy trip, but I sure am enjoying the ride!

I don't take "I can't" for an answer.  I stepped out of my own way and I'm moving full on ahead with my eyes wide open and limitless expectations. 

This is what has happened. 

This is the new me.  And I'm hungry for more!

-jafg